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Thank you so much ladies!

Posted by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 9:56 PM
  • 9 Replies
2 moms liked this

The kids made their father's day gifts today. I talked to their teachers and they were fine with making them for the kids Papa (my dad). When I picked them up, DS was so excited to show me what he made. I asked him who he made it for and he told me that he made it for me. I asked him if he wanted to give it to Papa, and he said "No, I just want to give it to my mommy! I love you!" I had to fight back tears because I have been stressing so much about so many things like him missing his dad, him wanting to give it to his dad like all the other kids were going to do, that I wasn't enough, so on and so forth and HE wants to give ME the fathers day gift. I feel sooo much better about everything. Thank you so much ladies for listening... or well... reading... and being there for me while I stressed out. I really don't have people outside of CM who are going through anything similar to this. So its great to be able to talk to women who have been there and who are going to be there. I still intend to do like a family counseling at some point for the kids and I, I believe we could all benefit from it. So again, Thank you Ladies! 

by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 9:56 PM
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Replies (1-9):
katemarie97
by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 9:58 PM
That made me tear up! That's just so precious beyond words.Im always stressing out about what life will be like for my son with no dad around
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rebmarie90
by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 10:07 PM

DS goes through stages of missing him and asking about him, recently he wanted him to move in with us. We haven't heard from him in 6 months. Most of the time though, he doesn't talk about him. He doesn't really know him. There isn't much for him to miss. I think misses the idea of his dad more than his dad himself. He is so used to only seeing him for a few hours at a time that he doesn't even consider being with him for more than that. Not that that has ever been an option. 

Do you have anyone to be the male role model? 

Don't stress about finding one, you are his mom and you can do that too. It took me some time to realize that. 

Quoting katemarie97:

That made me tear up! That's just so precious beyond words.Im always stressing out about what life will be like for my son with no dad around


katemarie97
by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 10:12 PM
My sons only 9mos and hasn't seen his dad since he was 6mos old so I seriously doubt he even remembers his dad but I'm worried when hes old enough to know daddys not around he's gonna ask me why he's not around..I don't know how to look at my child and say " oh daddy didn't want you".but no I have no male role models for him to be around steadily.
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rebmarie90
by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 10:31 PM

Quoting katemarie97:

My sons only 9mos and hasn't seen his dad since he was 6mos old so I seriously doubt he even remembers his dad but I'm worried when hes old enough to know daddys not around he's gonna ask me why he's not around..I don't know how to look at my child and say " oh daddy didn't want you".but no I have no male role models for him to be around steadily.

You have a long time till you have to worry about that. One day when he does wonder, obviously you aren't going to say that. Its just that he didn't know how to be a daddy. 

DS didn't meet his dad till he was 18 months old (we got back together and had DD and hes gone again). DS had him for a little while but I ended up breaking up with him for certain reasons and he used to see DS once a month, then when he found out I was expecting a girl he started coming around less and less. EX has only met DD about 3 or 4 times, she is 19 months old. 

When ex started coming around less DS asked me why I left his daddy. I was so mad because DS was only 2 at the time so there was no way he came up with that on his own and he had been with his dad earlier that week. I simply said to him that Daddy and Mommy weren't happy together. We didn't know how to talk to each other and we fought a lot. Mommy didn't want you to grow up in a home where there was always fighting. He just said ok and went on playing. 

Anything you think your son should learn as a guy, you can teach him. I taught my son to stand up to pee and I am teaching him to fish. When he startes school (DS is 4) I plan on putting him in Big Brothers Big Sisters. He has to be in kindergarden first though. 

Then there is Boy scouts and sports programs and so on. There is lots for him to learn and tons of places and ways for him to bond with a male. I however will be the one to be there for all the father son activities as he grows. My dad only does so much. My dad was supposed to teach him how to fish and he keeps making up excuses. I have learned that as single moms, we have to learn to play both roles. Its tough work but at the end of the day, and days like what I had today, it is all worth it because your kids just appreciate you more and more. 

katemarie97
by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 10:37 PM
That's truly inspiring.I'll never understand how men can walk out like that.my soon to be ex husband has an older son who he's very involved with and that child.lives 14hrs away..my son lives 5hrs away and his dad has nothing to do with him.those are good ideas though..the programs.I never thought of that
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rebmarie90
by on Jun. 15, 2012 at 10:42 PM
1 mom liked this


Quoting katemarie97:

That's truly inspiring.I'll never understand how men can walk out like that.my soon to be ex husband has an older son who he's very involved with and that child.lives 14hrs away..my son lives 5hrs away and his dad has nothing to do with him.those are good ideas though..the programs.I never thought of that

I don't think that will ever be understood. Its hard to look at it this way, but just remember that you still have your DS. He is all yours and one day he will be making you mother and father's day gifts. 


Glad I could be of help! 

brieri
by Platinum Member on Jun. 16, 2012 at 1:59 AM

 Glad to hear it all worked out.

StephMarie_Mom
by on Jun. 16, 2012 at 2:13 AM
That's awesome your son decided to do that. How sweet! I did the same thing for my mom when I was a kid. Never knew how much it meant until reading your post. You and your boys will be just fine.
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Robsessed98
by on Jun. 16, 2012 at 3:57 AM

That was really sweet of him.  Glad it worked out.

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