Help please. which is easier? being single or having a relationship?

[punkrockjosie]

Well i got with this guy and we were together for 5 months and i have a 15 month old. I only seen him twice out of the whole 5 mo. Because he works alot. He is wanting to be the father figure for my son but his dad is in his life and trying to change. I told him that i cant have my son calling him dad or father. He respected that decision for him and me. He is pretty much everything i am looking for but he supports his mom because she needs help and i cant expect him to take care of us too. Not that i wasnt goina get a job and go to school. So should i be with him. Ineed some type of opinion on what you think. Anything helps. Thank you.

[andyroosmama]

 Honestly, I find being on my own a helluva lot easier than being in a relationship... but I've been happily single for nearly 7yrs... just got with BF and well... his meds talked today so I'm letting him suffer... I miss having a partner, but if the partner isn't helping, you may as well be on your own...

 

I have children, I don't need a grown one to deal with.

[Mia1983]

He doesn't have to take care of you both but he is obligated to at least help support his son financially. I hope you put him on c/s because supporting his mom doesn't excuae him from supporting the baby he helped create.

[PFC91F]

Personally I think if you have only seen him twice in 5 months he doesn't have enough time to be a father figure.  Unless u were to move in together, which wouldn't be a good idea because you have only seen each other twice.  Being single and raising your child is easier in my opinion.  But, I have a specific way of raising my daughter and am glad I don't have to argue with anyone over how she is raised.  I also don't have to deal with the stress of being in a relationship with someone else.  I am not dating anyone or anything right now.  I don't have time for that.  I am a member of the military, take care of my daughter, go to school online, and take care of things at my grandparents' house.  I don't have time to put into a relationship right now.  Family is very important to me and while companionship would be nice, it's not on my priority list.

[SookieRose]

 do what makes you happy. GL :}

[punkrockjosie]

Thank you. You are right. I appreciate it.

[steviechick]

Since you've only seen your bf twice in 5 months that doesn't seem like a very good relationship or a start to a relationship.  If he wants to be your ds's 'daddy' he needs step back.  Your ex is your ds's daddy.  I would think that if your bf wants a relationship with you he would be there more than just twice in five months.  I think you need to work on the relationship with the bf and let your ex be the father of your ds.

[faerie75]

There's no uniform answer. Too many variables. Depends on the ppl involved and a lot of other things.

[punkrockjosie]

So it can still be manageable with having a relationship with someone? Well my bf wants to have a relationship with my son. He thinks his dads goina disappoint him and not be there for him like he wants to be. I only get like 490 a month and if i was to live with him i dont think hed be able to afford to help us if i needed it because he already takes care of him family and family is important to me so i would have to put em before him if i was supporting my family. I rather just think about my sons and my needs becaude it would be less stress.

[deltathree]

Quoting faerie75:

There's no uniform answer. Too many variables. Depends on the ppl involved and a lot of other things.

this --- it just depends.....

[punkrockjosie]

Yea. Thats very true. It really does all depend on alot of things well thanks for the help. I very much appreciate it.