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My daughter's father changed her last name (to his) without my permission OR her consent... Is this even allowed?!

Posted by on Jun. 19, 2012 at 8:19 PM
  • 27 Replies

Neither she nor I found out about it until after the fact... she's been insistent that she neither wanted this nor asked for it. Now she's upset and I'm heartbroken. We went for 6 months without speaking to him, only to find out he did this behind our backs. His reason behind it was completely selfish too: she returned a letter he sent her "return to sender- no such person lives here" because he addressed it to her with his last name instead of mine. He's convinced he's teaching her not to disrespect him or undermine his authority by doing this. How cruel is that? Why would you force your child to take your last name, just to teach her a lesson?!

*I am the custodial parent and she is still a minor. I never received notification or gave him my consent. He's insisting I did. He claims he was able to change it after adding his name to her birth certificate. I wasn't aware that he had added his name to her birth certificate either. He informed me by insisting I register her with his last name when I enrolled her in middle school in the fall. He informed me of this change by phone. I refused to believe him but he insisted I do what he say. Is there any way he could have gotten around to doing this without my knowledge or consent? I didn't want to acknowledge him so I just hung up on him.

*He claims to have found some sort of loophole that allows him to get away with it. I wouldn't put it past him to do something like that either. He's the kind of slime that would've lawyered up and found someone to jump through legal 'hoops' for him. I've always known him to be selfish enough to find some way (if any) to get his way. For now all I have is his word. I intend to do my research and find out what I can. I know now that it is illegal without my permission or his daughter's consent. I'm trying to figure out a way to contest it, if I need to.

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by on Jun. 19, 2012 at 8:19 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Robsessed98
by on Jun. 19, 2012 at 8:22 PM
1 mom liked this

How old is she?  Are you sure it was legal?  When my oldest was about 10 I went through the legal process of changing hers to her dd's last name (she decided against it before it was final). I had to send notice to her dd and we had to publish the petition in the paper 3 times to make sure there were no objections from anyone. There's more to it than him just walking in the courthouse and changing her name.  I find it hard to believe that he could change her name without you being notified in some way. Are you sure he's not just playing a game with you?

raegan1221
by Raegan on Jun. 19, 2012 at 8:25 PM
1 mom liked this

 I don't see how it's legal. If she's under 18, I would think that you would have to sign something consenting to that. Are you the custodial parent? He sounds like such a jerk. I'd call a lawyer asap.

mapuda
by on Jun. 19, 2012 at 8:25 PM
It sure doesn't sound legal.
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andyroosmama
by on Jun. 19, 2012 at 8:46 PM

 He can't add his name to her Birth Certificate without you present, and being notarized... I think he is trying to get under your skin

 

Quoting mommaleach:

I am the custodial parent and she is still a minor. I never received notification or gave him my consent. He's insisting I did. He claims he was able to change it after adding his name to her birth certificate. I wasn't aware that he had added his name to her birth certificate either. He informed me by insisting I register her with his last name when I enrolled her in middle school in the fall. He informed me of this change by phone. I refused to believe him but he insisted I do what he say. Is there any way he could have gotten around to doing this without my knowledge or consent? I didn't want to acknowledge him so I just hung up on him.

 

chamann
by on Jun. 19, 2012 at 8:48 PM
He can't change her last name without your consent. I just got my sons last name changed to mine and his dad had to sign papers sent from my lawyer and get them noterized, send them back and then my lawyer had to present it to a judge for approval, and I had to pay the lawyer and court costs.
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lydi
by on Jun. 19, 2012 at 8:51 PM
2 moms liked this

 i would contact a lawyer and see if he did legally change stuff and then hopefully he will get in legal trouble. 

Jeni1124
by on Jun. 19, 2012 at 9:00 PM
1 mom liked this

None of this seems possible to me. Do you have any proof other than his word that he's done this? If not, take her SS card to the SS office and they'll let you know.

Danielle17T
by on Jun. 19, 2012 at 9:06 PM
I don't c how he could put his name on the birth certificate or change her last name w/o u knowing! R u 100% sure her name was changed?
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strongerwtime
by on Jun. 19, 2012 at 9:08 PM

 How do you know this has been done legally? Did you receive some paperwork saying that it was changed?  It's not just that simple to do that.

strongerwtime
by on Jun. 19, 2012 at 9:11 PM
1 mom liked this

 he is bs-ing you...no proof.  He can insist all he wants.. the fact that he has to INSIST that you use his name for her last name says it all...

Quoting mommaleach:

I am the custodial parent and she is still a minor. I never received notification or gave him my consent. He's insisting I did. He claims he was able to change it after adding his name to her birth certificate. I wasn't aware that he had added his name to her birth certificate either. He informed me by insisting I register her with his last name when I enrolled her in middle school in the fall. He informed me of this change by phone. I refused to believe him but he insisted I do what he say. Is there any way he could have gotten around to doing this without my knowledge or consent? I didn't want to acknowledge him so I just hung up on him.

 

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