My Ex and I have a 2 year old daughter, we broke up about a year ago and he has been dating this new girl for about 6 months now. Him and I have split custody over our daughter (50/50) I hate this . I feel like a part time mother, but judges in KY tend to favor split custody these days. Since the break up he has made a point to make my life a living hell. He tells me I should give up rights to our daughter and completely breaks me down into a depression some days. I WENT TO COURT SO I COULD STOP FIGHTING WITH HIM. He also moved himself and our daughter into his new girlfriends apartment, she had caught him cheating on her so he moved back to his mothers home with my daughter. Just recently my daughter has started throwing fits when she comes back home to me on my weeks, it's the worst feeling in the world..almost as if she doesn't want me anymore. He brings his girlfriend when he drops her off and picks her up every week. It's not gotten any easier.. Some tiimes I just want to run away from all of this, im 22 and there are days where I think about really giving up and leaving. I love my daughter way too much to ever bail on.. I live alone and the days I don't have her I could cry myself to sleep at night. I AM MISERABLE. I just need some sort of feed back. I feel like I'm going to loose it.
Is there any way you can speak to a lawyer about the situation and see if the court order can be modified on those grounds?
I have talked to about 3 different lawyers, I can't do anything about him bringing his girlfriend. I'm just ready to go to court and battle out for full custody, this week on and week off is already messing with my daughter. Some weeks she comes back and she is a completely different child. This isn't right, it's hurting me too.
There should be a way for you to prevent him from having unrelated overnight guests of the opposite sex. We have this in our paperwork, and I have been very grateful due to the revolving door of girlfriends he has had. I only wish I had said no unrelated overnight guests at all! I had no idea he would have as many friends spend the night as he has -- not great at all for them to be around my kids.
You could at least put an end to them being in the same house overnight anyway. I don't know what to tell you about the 50/50. I think that, in most situations, that arrangement is horrible for kids. Judges sometimes don't see it that way though (unless you get one with common sense who actually thinks about the kids more than the parents). Just make the most of the time you have and keep exploring your options. I'm so sorry for you. It's not natural or right at all! :-(
One other thing is I would keep communication with him to an absolute bare minimum, just what you have to do for your daughter. Without the communication, he'll have less chance to get under your skin, and you can try to just be happy with you and your daughter. If he yells at you on the phone, ask him to speak nicely. If he does not, hang up. You don't have to listen and give him control. If he yells at you in person, walk away. Don't fight back. He shouldn't have the opportunity to break you down. Don't give him permission.
She wants to be involved in everything now ( mind you she is only his girlfriend ) . The worst part is that he has attempted to cheat on her with me 1000000 times. I've told her over and over and she just thinks I am the crazy bitch. So it's hard to get along with her when I see how stupid she is for staying with him. It's going to screw my daughter up even more. I have let his girlfriend even listen to a recording of him practically begging me to sleep with him. I have no respect for either of them.
Meet at a police station when you have to bring dd to meet up with him. if he starts belittleing you or raising his voice you can have it on file at the police station and use that during your custody fight.
I know how you feel about the week on week off thing. I'm 22 also and some weeks my daughter is a nightmare! One thing I suggest, even though it sounds like the dad is a jackass, is see if you could both have a similar schedule for your daughter. Like bedtime at 8/9pm. Nap time at 12. Dinner around 5 or 6. Simple things. I've noticed with my situation that my ex and I are not on the same page at all and it confuses her on the rules of the houses.
Don't give up no matter what. Message me if you want. I know what you are going through.
It's a morality clause. I'm so glad things like this are still available. Call your attorney to check on how it applies in your situation.
http://www.dallasdivorcelawyerblog.com/2011/10/enforcement-of-morality-clause.html
We have attempted the "staying on the same page" routine. Nothing seems to work , everything turns into an argument and it's just getting ridiculous. Im thinking about calling a private investigator.. I can't keep doing this .I'm hitting a breaking point. Do you and the father get along well?
Scared to get out of my comfort zone
- kysinglemommy
on Jun. 20, 2012 at 10:47 PM