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Please someone Help me out. . .

Posted by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 4:27 AM
  • 17 Replies

So i am having a lot of issues with my baby father. I am 20 almost 21. I started working right when I graduated high school. It was right about the time I met my baby's father. He was 23 at the time. Me being young I fell head over heels for him. I trust him gave him my virginity and honestly believed he loved me. I met his parents and thought they liked me too. It is now almost 2 years later and I got pregnant by him. Note I am 20 and he is 24. He doesn't work cause his mother said he should be focused on cooking school (which is only 2 days a week). I had to stop working cause my pregnancy got kinda difficult. So now I'm living off of unemployment and he is no help at all. To make matters worse his Mother only lets him out the house to see me on the weekend. And even then she calls him for everything every time she needs something he runs to her. Now he lives with her and his father and brother. I am 7months pregnant and I have none of his attention and when i do have it for a little bit she calls him and he leaves me to go home. How should i handle this cause I am tired of being depressed and wanting his attention and never receiving it. He is turning 25 this year and he wont move out from with his mother and she controls everything he does and I am sick of it.  I didn't get myself pregnant so I should be going through this alone. Ugh someone help me please.

by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 4:27 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Cpdsptchgrl
by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 5:06 AM
Unfortunately there isn't much you can do. You aren't going to change him no matter what you decide. Whether you stay or leave you will be making a go of this alone. So what you have to ask yourself is this..."can I see myself being happy with somebody else?" If the answer is yes then it's time to leave.
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sept-mommy2012
by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 5:12 AM

i thought about that and i realize that im scared to be alone i know its pretty pathetic but I dont want to be alone so i guess i just put up with it hoping he will grow up on his own maybe

Tashia07
by Gold Member on Jun. 25, 2012 at 10:20 AM
1 mom liked this

Oh honey! It took me a few weeks to except I was really going to have to do it on my own.  My son's father made a lot of promises that never came true.... What I learned is that his promises to me were empty, and not set myself up for disappointment.  Take it one day at a time and focus on what is in your control, such as parenting classes, getting stuff together for the baby, and pick out some names.  What names are you thinking about? Let me just say Tasha is a beautiful name!

Robsessed98
by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 10:23 AM
1 mom liked this

First thing he needs to do is be a man and quit letting his mom run his life!  There's nothing you can do to make him grow up.  Just prepare yourself for doing this on your own.... you can do it.  Maybe once the baby is born he will come around and realize it's time to grow up.

steviechick
by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 10:32 AM

Hoping he grows out of his behavior?  Let me give you some advise......my ex was showed his behavior issues when I first met him.  I kept trying to change him and hoped that I could or at least I was going to accept who I married.  I spent 26 years trying to change my ex.  He had severe financial problems and a very complex personality for many years.  I should have left him but I didn't.  He ended up cheating on me and literally destroying our relationship and a 26 year marriage.  A total LOSER.  If you are going to stay with a guy like mine then be prepared to accept who he is.  Someone's behavior problems will always be with them.  Your BF isn't going to change.  So, be prepared to accept whatever he dishes out at you. 

amonkeymom
by Gold Member on Jun. 25, 2012 at 12:17 PM

Welcome!

Sadly, you can't make this man grow up or take responsibility.  Even though you're pregnant, it seems to me it's time to move on.

(((hug)))

brieri
by Platinum Member on Jun. 25, 2012 at 12:22 PM

 Hia nd welcome to the group.

sept-mommy2012
by on Jun. 25, 2012 at 2:51 PM

Thank you everyone for your replies. . . Sad thing is when I met him it wasnt like this I was young and I really wanted to date some older hoping he would be mature and he acted mature for the first years until i got pregnant and now its like my mom knows everything there is to know about having kids and blah blah blah im just so stressed and I am glad to be able to talk to other women that have been through this.

bamababe1975
by on Jun. 26, 2012 at 7:03 PM
1 mom liked this

 Like the others said, you can't make him grow up and be responsible. All you can do is take care of you and that baby the best you can. ((HUGS))

Mia1983
by Mia on Jun. 26, 2012 at 9:46 PM
You need to start moving on in your mind and get ready to raise this baby on your own. His mommy and daddy did a poor job of raising him to be a man and you are not going to undo 25 years of poor upbringing. He doesn't have to grow up because it's you with the baby. The likelihood of getting CS from him seems slim, but you should try to find out what you can get for your child.
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