So i am having a lot of issues with my baby father. I am 20 almost 21. I started working right when I graduated high school. It was right about the time I met my baby's father. He was 23 at the time. Me being young I fell head over heels for him. I trust him gave him my virginity and honestly believed he loved me. I met his parents and thought they liked me too. It is now almost 2 years later and I got pregnant by him. Note I am 20 and he is 24. He doesn't work cause his mother said he should be focused on cooking school (which is only 2 days a week). I had to stop working cause my pregnancy got kinda difficult. So now I'm living off of unemployment and he is no help at all. To make matters worse his Mother only lets him out the house to see me on the weekend. And even then she calls him for everything every time she needs something he runs to her. Now he lives with her and his father and brother. I am 7months pregnant and I have none of his attention and when i do have it for a little bit she calls him and he leaves me to go home. How should i handle this cause I am tired of being depressed and wanting his attention and never receiving it. He is turning 25 this year and he wont move out from with his mother and she controls everything he does and I am sick of it. I didn't get myself pregnant so I should be going through this alone. Ugh someone help me please.
My MIL still tries to control our lives and we don't even live with her. She always thinks that she knows better and that everything she says is the way that things should go. Now in my case my SO will tell her where to go and how to get there. The concerning part to me is that your bd isn't showing that he will stand up to her now how bad is it going to be when the baby comes? You need to ask yourself do you know how you want your baby to be raised and the values that you would like to instill. If the answer is yes then what would you tell your son or daughter if they were going through a similar situation. You know what you need to do the hard part is doing it trust me I know!! Your hormones are also playing a huge roll in the tug of war with your emotions!! The end result is you are not working together as a unit preparing for this baby. He is a puppet and his mother is apparently his puppet master!! I am not trying to be mean believe me I'm not but my suggestion to you is start getting your things together for the baby and you and if he decides to grow up sometime in the future then so be it and go from there. If not you will already have established a life for you and the baby and will be fine!! It is normal to feel nervous and scared hell it is your first baby and your young. But this does not mean that you are incapable and should not have to feel like you are on the back burner to his mother when this is a time in life where you need him most!!
it sounds a little like what i am going through. i am curently living with my boyfriend and his family but he is very obsest with himself and thinks he can still do what ever he wants and not grow up. he is working right now which makes it so i hardly see him as it is. it frusterates me and it makes i feel lonely too. what i have decided to do though is live on my own and i am going to be joining a program by the state that will help me out as a single mother and make it so i can stay with my baby when its born without having to work for a year, now i dont know where u stand when it comes to goverment help but it might be something that could help you out,
Quoting sept-mommy2012:i thought about that and i realize that im scared to be alone i know its pretty pathetic but I dont want to be alone so i guess i just put up with it hoping he will grow up on his own maybe
have you ever tried talking to his mother. My BD had to the nerve to tell me if I have a problem , With his mother always needing him maybe I should take it up with her. isnt that just un-freaking-believable I mean its his mother not mine. And now were having more problem cause he wants me to move out of my house with my mom and brother (where my baby has his own room) to live in a cramped 2 bedroom apt. with his mom dad and where he is sharing a room with his 19 year old brother. And I refuse. So now I need to know what I can do before the baby gets here where he has no custody cause I dont even want my son going to their apt. its gross and not baby friendly not to mention there is no where for him to go. I dont want to have to share him with his father cause he doesnt deserve him and the only reason he would try to take him is for his over baring mother.
Unfortunately, when you have that baby you might be alone whether you want to be or not. Prepare for that possibility, I wish I had. It would have made things much easier when it happened. He sounds like he's definitely not ready to be a dad, and a lot of times that's the type of dad that bails. You're so much stronger than you think right now, trust me.
Finally tears of happiness.
- sept-mommy2012
on Jun. 25, 2012 at 4:27 AM