I don't know if you remember my crazy story, and constant battle with BD, but here it is in a nutshell:
He went back to his ex wife and hes been back and forth during this entire pregnancy. one day he wants to come back and make things work and have our family together. Then he moves back out and we go through this whole cycle again. But whenever he has left he starts sending me texts saying how hes going to take full custody of my son from me after hes born and "allow me visitation". also threats of saying hes going to lie and say im an unfit mother in order to make that happen. So anyway, I kind of cut off contact and now today hes trying i guess to be civil? But now it seems like he has an alterior motive and is trying to be sneaky by telling me to sign something? Please read and give input of how you think I should proceed or what hes up to:
This is from BD this morning:
"Neither of us is in a legal position to do anything, even after Lucas is born. As long as you are 100% sure Lucas is mine (and I am not saying that to be mean and I am not trying to fish for any info) we would have to sign a parental acknowledgment form. Witnessed and notarized. You may already know this and that's why you have eluded from telling me the birthdate. There is slim time frame after he is born to get this done. We can, however, do it sooner. I have to pick ip the form or have it mailes there is no PDF i can sownload. Investigate and let me know if you want to do this. I have no problem and it benefits you greatly. Only problem it poses is that my name will be listed on the birth certificate and I can challenge the last name."
I feel like he is pretending to be nice and civil now, but trying to ge tme to agree to do something just for his benefit. He has done nothing but lie, manipulate and deceive up until this point and I feel I need to protect myself, and would like input on what his angle is here and how to proceed.
Thank you ladies :)
Also,
I am standing my ground with my sons last name being the same as mine. BD has a son with his last name already, and that was rightly given because he was MARRIED to the mother of that child at the time. I wish for my son to share the same last name as his mother, not BD and his wife. I have other reasons as well since my father passed away in 2010 and this is the first grandchild for our family, I want him to carry on this family name. But i feel it is my right to give my son my name. there is no malice behind this, just what i think is fair since BD and I arent even together and he has another family and son to carry on his name. He cant just be non existant and terrible this whole pregnancy and then think he can just slap his name on my son just because.
Wow... that doesn't seem civil to me! They give you everything you need in the hospital he can sign everything, if he is welcome in the hospital room and nurse/friend can be the witness. Why haven't you told him the estimated due date? My due date was way off from when our son was born, which caused a bunch of questions from the BD! If he makes an issue of the last name, the courts will hyphenate the last name. Is there anyway you would consider using his last name as your son's middle name?
He's not being nice at all. If anything all he gets is the name on the birth certificate. Don't ever sign anything about him giving up his rights as the baby daddy. If he needs DNA proof then have him get it. Otherwise, get that cs and that's all you need from him.
How would this benefit you? What is the point in the first place?
DH and I weren't married when DS was born, so we both signed the parental acknowlegment, but we're married now so I necver had to worry. I don't see the point, and I wouldn't sign anything that you don't fully understand.
I would make sure and keep a record of every single text message or email that he sends you, even if it doesn't sound threatening. This way when he try's to lie about anything, you have documents to prove his real intentions. this stinks that you are going through this. I would make sure to cross your dot your I's and cross your T's with this guy. Good luck.
I know! It just seemed too weird. After the way hes been and then sending thaT? almost like he was trying to confuse me and have me hurry up and sign it. i was caught offguard and realized i needed others input on this. He then followed up that email by sayin g"oh yeah well my other sons mother cheated on me so many times that i dont even know if hes mine. but i need to be sure with you. " then he threw in a random lie and said "plus you said you slept with 2 other people during that time frame" WHAAAT?! That is another rediculous lie, to try to make me out to be unfaithful as well. just trying to hurt my character more for when it goes to court i assume. Believe me, I wished that I had slept with someone else and that they could possibly be the father because i couldnt believe what a jerk BD turned out to be. and sadly, there was nobody else even though i wish that aaanyone else could be the father! argggg
Scared to get out of my comfort zone
- Alex5901
on Jun. 25, 2012 at 11:19 AM