how do you ladies feel about this response to my previous post on my bd cheating the cs system ?

[rae021]

Quoting kateue:

As a woman I find it very irritating when other women complain about child support. It makes me wonder why you had a child that you could not support on your own from the start. Life is full of unexpected circumstances that put us all in a tough spot at times like death of a supporting parent and etc. What I do not understand is why the father always made out to be the bad guy. Here is a thought.. let's say we lived in a country where the mother does not just have the automatic right to the child and the father had custody, would you be able to fork out the amount of money you are asking for and still be able to live your life and pay the necessary bills to keep yourself afloat? Most likely not, due to poor planning. So before you bash your "baby daddy" for being irresponsible maybe you need a step back and reevaluate your lack of obtaining a job to support the family you willingly started.

[MamasaurusPrime]

Exactly! My ex was living like a fucking king with that woman buying cellphones and flat screen tvs, a bluray player. Etc. and a month after they traded their car in for a bigger vehicle our child support order was finalized and he was ordered to pay me $1000 to start.

Quoting mommynac:

Amen. My ex wouldn't do sh*t if there wasn't a court order. He's unemployed now and spends every other night gambling at the casino.

Quoting MamasaurusPrime:

Maybe if some of these fathers decided to help from te start then they wouldn't be up shit creek.

Honestly, my ex could afford to give me money, he just chose not to and gf wouldn't let him because she needed a flat screen tv and they needed thins for their baby.

 

[spiritualmom]

I agree, not all Dad's are bad and vise versa, both paernts need to equally connect enough to support their kids, better yet they need to keep the effin' courts out of their business because the courts do nothing but dammage to everyone!!!!!

[spiritualmom]

In this F***ed up economy who the H*ll can survive, I have been looking for a job for over a year and I never get a call/interview etc etc. I went to school for over five years and now I'm over 40,000 more in debt because of the student loans. I'm sick of hearing about the dad's not paying, honestly what about the mom's not payiong??????

[rae021]

Again... This is not a generalization, I asked bout my personal situation... And believe I pay for my daughter.... I don't understand your post.... Your complaining about being unemployed and school loans... Yet want the responsibilty alone for your kids? Maybe I dk, you think your too good to work at certain places bc of ur education... And like I said he is more then capable to help provide for her he unlike you is not unemployed.

Quoting spiritualmom:

In this F***ed up economy who the H*ll can survive, I have been looking for a job for over a year and I never get a call/interview etc etc. I went to school for over five years and now I'm over 40,000 more in debt because of the student loans. I'm sick of hearing about the dad's not paying, honestly what about the mom's not payiong??????

[Tyler0102]

I believe a man should pay if he can, however I also believe a woman should pay childsupport if the father of the children has custody.

[andyroosmama]

 My BD is a convenient parent... when he remembers that we have 2 kids, one that he is "responsible" for and then that is when he desn't have a bedbreaker... the other BD is a complete and total deadbeat. Quite frankly, OP, hasn't been in the real world... I fully support my children, ON MY OWN. They need their dads for emotional support mor than financial support. I never planned on beng a single mom... and I sure as fuck don't need a man to help... I want what is best for my children and the winky dinky 60.00 that he pays whenever, does nothing as that is nothing but a pack of diapers and a happy meal. OP, most of us mothers here are not bitter, but I know you are not divine, and did not have immaculate conception... Like the rest of us, it takes 2 to tango... so please quit trying to walk on water... you may drown.

[raegan1221]

 This sounds a lot better than the original wording. I agree that not all fathers (not "baby daddy's"..I HATE that term) who do put forth the effort can afford child support, however that was the bed they made. But I also dont' agree with bashing them either and creating drama. My ex husband was like that in the beginning but we made the appropriate steps to fix the problem. Now he's turned things around. But everyone is different.

Quoting kateue:

I am not saying that a father should not be held accountable for his part in the child. You guys lump all father's together and think they are low life's who should be in jail, etc. Ya there are some father's out there who are low life's but then there are the father's who actually take care of and pay for their children. Do what is best for the children and know that there are 2 sides to every story. When going to court it isn't about you and the father, it is about the children. A lot of mom's forget about the children because they are so caught up in being vindictive with the children's dad. I just simply wanted to get the point accross that we cannot keep blaming "baby daddy's" for the lack of money some mothers have. I'm sure there are plenty of cases that say otherwise.

 

[kendra123842]

I do support my son on my own. But I do think that the baby daddy should be made to pay child support. Women do not make babies on their own. It is both parents responsibility to raise the child!!!!!!!

[faerie75]

A child deserves the support of both parents. However I personally always advise never to depend on it cuz anything can happen and the one left with their thumb in their butt is us.

I get tired of complaining period but ppl have a right to vent.

[faerie75]

I actually agree. I don't think the number is that high. Again, I've said it before, there is a difference between a dead beat father and a father who won't give the mother her every whim and way.

Quoting kateue:

"9 out of 10 times the father is a deadbeat" that comment truely saddens me.