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Help!My 8 Year Old Son Cries Alot

Posted by on Jun. 30, 2012 at 10:45 AM
  • 109 Replies
My 8 year old son cries when he doesn't get his way. I mean he cries alot. I'm a divorced single mom and raise him myself,his dad is not in his life due to court orders. I don't know what to do. It's embarassing and really upsets me. He seems to do this when were out in public. When I don't have money to give him or when I can't buy him something he just goes into squaling like a baby. And I mean he will cry for a solid hour nonstop. I won't spank him in public in fear that people will call the cops or child services. Anyone ever dealt with this? NO BASHING PLZ
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by on Jun. 30, 2012 at 10:45 AM
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Refurbished
by on Jun. 30, 2012 at 11:02 AM
27 moms liked this

His crying must be getting him what he wants or he would stop.  Babies in orphanages do not cry -- because it produces no results.  Make sure that every time he does it, he gets exactly the opposite of what he wants.

One reason why he could be doing this though is that he may have a hard time expressing how he feels in words.  He's communicating his feelings to you, just not verbally.  I'd keep reinforcing that he needs to use words, not trantrums to communicate.

greencompass
by on Jun. 30, 2012 at 12:02 PM
18 moms liked this

When my kids have done this, I do one of 2 things:

  1. Ignore them if it's not too loud and complete the transactions or conversation.
  2. Leave everything and walk out of the store.

 

Mia1983
by Mia on Jun. 30, 2012 at 1:46 PM
1 mom liked this
I agree.

Quoting Refurbished:

His crying must be getting him what he wants or he would stop.  Babies in orphanages do not cry -- because it produces no results.  Make sure that every time he does it, he gets exactly the opposite of what he wants.

One reason why he could be doing this though is that he may have a hard time expressing how he feels in words.  He's communicating his feelings to you, just not verbally.  I'd keep reinforcing that he needs to use words, not trantrums to communicate.

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amonkeymom
by Gold Member on Jun. 30, 2012 at 4:12 PM
15 moms liked this

Have you considered taking him to see a counselor?  It sounds like he has a lot of pent-up emotions that talking to someone neutral could help.

Zacknalexmom
by on Jun. 30, 2012 at 4:47 PM
2 moms liked this
That's a good idea. My son is ADHD and takes medication for it. i have thought of confiding in my sons pediatrician about referring him to see a counselor or therapist.

Quoting amonkeymom:

Have you considered taking him to see a counselor?  It sounds like he has a lot of pent-up emotions that talking to someone neutral could help.

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happymommy1105
by Gold Member on Jun. 30, 2012 at 4:52 PM
8 moms liked this

stop giving him what he wants so much.  when he cries just tell him to knock it off or you will take another toy away when you get home.  

he is too old for that mess.  

i had to do this with my son when he was like 5 cause he cried over everything. 

Morrigan333
by on Jul. 1, 2012 at 9:29 AM
3 moms liked this

My dd is almost 12, she's adhd too(not medicated) she sucks her thumb.  When she gets whiny and all..i just tell her to "girl up", and get past it, you can't MAKE people play (hang out) with you, you can't ALWAYS get a pack of gum/candy at the store, etc. Girl up, and move on..if i  can see it's something she needs to discuss..i always let her, but i don't allow the whining to accompany it. If she starts..I walk away and/or stop listening until she can act like a teen

MomTeacher621
by on Jul. 1, 2012 at 9:33 AM
5 moms liked this

DEFINITELY see a therapist! I'm surprised your doctor didn't tell you that ADHD meds work best in conjunction with regular therapy. I would also think back to when this behavior started: when you and dad physically split? when he started meds? Perhaps he is overwhelmed by things that he can't control and the frustration builds up to a point where it comes out in tears. It sounds like he has more going on (divorce, ADHD) than just trying to manipulate you. Although, when kids feel like they have no control, they will try to get control in some area. Maybe he needs his meds adjusted.

Godspitgrl
by on Jul. 1, 2012 at 10:15 AM
3 moms liked this

Yes telling them to just knock it off, ignoring them, or spanking them is the answer. Do you tell your son you think he is a cry baby? Do you think that is good for him? You said you are a single mother with out a father in the picture. I imagine that means that you have to work and from the looks of your profile pic you also have a daughter. Divorce is already hard on a child then to learn to deal with just a mom and one that has to work and I'm sure he is not getting the attention he used to. Its not just about the items when he cries. He wants something from you and you deny him that so it upsets him. No I'm not putting you down. I think you are strong to be a single mother and esp when the father can not be in the picture at all. But if you put him down and deny him things and your time with him as been shortened I can understand him being upset. Try spending time with him just you and him and give him a chance to talk to you openly with out judgement. And I agree counsling would probably help for him singly and as a family.

Mom2Kaylie
by on Jul. 1, 2012 at 10:27 AM
7 moms liked this

I think kids should be allowed to express their emotions. Even if it makes the adults around them uncomfortable. What seems to trigger it?  Can you help prevent some of his frustration or whatever emotion he is expressing?  How do you respond when he does this?  I suggest supportive.  Hear what he has to say.  Repeat it back to him to let him know you understand.  Empathize with his emotion.  See if he has any ideas on how to move on when he is ready.  Just giving him a lollipop or whatever to quiet him would be the wrong response that would just leave him with lots of stong emotions that haven't been addressed and shows that crying equals material things.  Crying shouldn't always render material items or parental giving in but it should render an understanding ear and some comfort to his real feelings.  If you think it's an act for attention make an additional effort to give him extra attention to prevent the outburst.  And their is no shame in seeking professional help.  

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