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Posted by on Jul. 2, 2012 at 2:59 AM
  • 16 Replies

Hi I am Handsomeboys,

I am recently divorced after 13 years of marriage with 2 boys, and starting over in my mid 40's can we say very scary. I am looking for support groups to keep me uplifted and hopefully some great advice. My story goes like this...I want to move out of California to go back home to my family in North Carolina. My ex-husband had been inconsitant in showing up for his court ordered visit. I made sure to put a schedule in our divorce decre, but he remarried 1 month after we got divorced since then he not kept his court ordered visitation. Wanting to have more family support in my life with raising boys I petition the courts to move back East. The courts ordered a mediation hearing for my ex, myself and the boys. The mediation report can out in my favor my ex opposed the ruling and we had to go to trial. We had to have people come in and testify on our behalf about our relationship with the boys and our character as parents. My ex brought his current wife of less than a year and his stepson who was over 20 years old. I brought the childrens godmother of 17 years and my youngest son 3rd grade teacher of 7 years. My witness were very respectful and state that they did not feel the my ex did not love his children he just was way to inconsistant in his visitation and the promises that he would make to the boys. His side stated they were out for every visit and stated that I would not bring the boys to the drop off location. My ex also went to court and stated that my son who he has raised since he was 3 who is now 17 was not his son in court cutting him off of his medical insurance. This is an action that he has never done before. I did not have the boys come to court to testify against their father because they stated that they did not want to hurt his feeling anymore. Meaning that they told the mediator as well as their father that they did not want to live with him. I also stated it once again in front of the judge of what the boys wanted. Nevertheless the judge just made her ruling in favor of my ex stating that I did not allow him to see his boys. Which was so far from the truth, so if anyone could direct me on case law getting the ruling reversed it would be most needed. He is still not following the court order and continues to lie about his actions as well as his wife. I wish I could say he really wants to have custody, but that would be me lying he only wants to stop paying the child support.

I know this was a long introduction, but I am in an area that I do not understand.

by on Jul. 2, 2012 at 2:59 AM
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Replies (1-10):
brieri
by Platinum Member on Jul. 2, 2012 at 3:06 AM

 Hi and welcome to the group.

You should have requested to have your boys see a psych/counselor along with your ex and you to help you understand the legal ramifications.  I am sorry to hear of your ordeal.

handsomeboys
by on Jul. 2, 2012 at 3:30 AM

Thank you for replying to the post...I had us all in counseling and my ex over the last 4 years only came to  have my ex only come to one meeting. I feel like I have done so much to help my kids and only to have their father do nothing.

Mommyto2LilMen
by Tina on Jul. 2, 2012 at 10:55 AM
Could you try fight it again and maybe see if your lawyer can fer the judge to talk to the boys privately, without dads presence, so if/when they do say something that would hurt his feelings he don't have to hear it so the kids may not feel as bad. What about a guardian at liedum (sp) they can be a good voice for the kids.
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amonkeymom
by Gold Member on Jul. 2, 2012 at 2:16 PM

Welcome!

I sure wish I had some advice for you, but I definitely recommend you keep on fighting.  Your boys might just have to state their wishes in front of the mediator or judge regardless if they want to or not. 

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Jul. 2, 2012 at 2:40 PM
You're sol cuz to are in Cali. Sorry ;( they generally will not let you relocate out of state unless it's uncontested.
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LuLuRex
by on Jul. 2, 2012 at 4:32 PM

welcome

handsomeboys
by on Jul. 3, 2012 at 1:43 AM

You Guys have been great I have an appointment to speak with a lawyer tomorrow. I California in some cases we can do them ourselves so when I went to court neither one of had representation. I will find out tomorrow if this will be a case that could go back into court over. What up set me was that my move away order was not granted even though the father does not keep his visits for months on end.

handsomeboys
by on Jul. 3, 2012 at 1:44 AM

So once again Thank you very much

Mia1983
by Mia on Jul. 3, 2012 at 9:56 AM
Welcome to the group.
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lnrmom
by on Jul. 3, 2012 at 10:08 AM

Its your word against his, so get an attorney who can subpeona records from the therapist showing that he only attended once, etc.

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