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The county wants me to pay child support!

Posted by on Jul. 2, 2012 at 7:03 AM
  • 440 Replies
6 moms liked this
My ex has not worked in over 4 years. He has my daughter about 40% of the time, which I allow only because he lives with his parents. He went to the welfare office and claimed that my daughter lived with him 50% of the time and got food stamps and everything.

I buy my daughters clothing, shoes, school supplies, toiletries and any extras like swim lessons, and art classes. I pay for her health insurance and take her to the doctors for her check ups and sick visits. If she is sick, I stay home from work and take care of her. He doesn't work and I stay home from work! I pay for daycare when she is with me and summer camp during the summer. She needs math help and I pay for tutoring.

The county is coming after me for child support for my daughter, I go to court on Tuesday. I am so upset about this that I can barely see straight! If I have to pay child support I know that it is going to go to HIS living expenses....the 100 dollar a month cell phone bill, tattoos and going out with his friends. I will still have to buy her all the essentials...which means double the expense and no money for college for her...another thing that I know he will never help with.

I just don't think this is fair! I love my daughter and ultimately think that in the long run she is the one that is getting the shaft! I dread the thought that she will not be able to do the activities and have the clothing she needs as she grows up because he won't get off his butt and work!

Thank you for listening to my rant! I am so stressed about this that I am not sleeping at night.

UPDATE: Thank you everyone for the support and advice. I went to court and my ex didn't even bother to show up. I had all my paperwork in order with receipts and visitation schedule. Long story short is that I still have to pay support but it is much less than the amount that the child support office had originally calculated.
I do understand that there are expenses that my ex has for my daughter when she is with him. However, considering that I am the primary care giver, the person who cares for her when she is sick(I take off work to care for her), and the person who pays for all of her essentials I still think it is wrong that I have to pay him money when he should be covering some of her expenses. It is very frustrating when my daughter comes home with underwear that are too small and my ex has a new tattoo...but tells me he can't afford to buy a $6 package of underwear. Truly if I felt that my daughter would benefit from the money he will be getting it would be fine. Time will tell, but I will not let my daughter go without, so might end up spending the same amount plus support. I hope he will step up, but I am not holding my breathe.
Thanks again!
by on Jul. 2, 2012 at 7:03 AM
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Replies (1-10):
happymommy1105
by Gold Member on Jul. 2, 2012 at 7:05 AM
46 moms liked this
Wow. I hope you have records and a lawyer!!!

What a piece of shit!!!
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mstkn.identity
by on Jul. 2, 2012 at 7:05 AM
14 moms liked this
There has to be a way you can fight it and prove she lives with you 60% of the time. What does the custody agreement say?
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Singlemominit
by on Jul. 2, 2012 at 7:06 AM
31 moms liked this
Bring all of your receipts to court! For everything!!
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popomill
by on Jul. 2, 2012 at 7:11 AM
108 moms liked this

I would counter sue to get full custody of your daughter, and give him visitation on the weekends. You're already supporting her 100% except for food and she doesn't stay with you. Just gather up all your receipts for everything you pay for her and take those with to court and show the judge that you already pay for everything. Just stay calm, cool and collected and everything will turn out fine. And if it doesn't, appeal.

Chanel5nyc
by Shanell on Jul. 2, 2012 at 8:36 AM
38 moms liked this
Bring your lease, custody agreement, school records, letter from her doctor for proof that she lives with you.

Try to get full custody.

If you win, he will get in trouble for lying to the state.
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Chanel5nyc
by Shanell on Jul. 2, 2012 at 8:38 AM
4 moms liked this
And bringing receipts don't prove that she lives with you. It only proves that you buy her things. Also try to get a lawyer if you can.
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Ara7
by on Jul. 2, 2012 at 9:23 AM
14 moms liked this

You need to make sure you have a lawyer with you if you can. It would also help if the school writes a letter or you can show how uninvolved he is with her daily life. The most important thing is to show that he can't financially take care of her especially as he lives home with his parents with no job. Others have said to make sure you bring receipts, bank statements, if she is on your medical insurance from work, bring that information as well. Don't forget to take your child care receipts as if he isn't working, they may want to know why you have to pay child care. Good luck!!

Mommyto2LilMen
by Tina on Jul. 2, 2012 at 10:43 AM
2 moms liked this
Make sure you get a lawyer to help you. Good luck and please keep is posted.
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conweis
by on Jul. 2, 2012 at 10:53 AM
2 moms liked this

My SO got a letter from CS saying he owed thousands. He went to the CS office to talk to the woman. She told him his ex was getting welfare and he had to pay the state back. Only thing is... his ex had stole the kids and he could not find her. The courts and the welfare office could not give him her address. The courts didn't have it and the welfare office wasn't allow to give it to him. When he told her why wouldn't they tell her where were his kids when he asked welfare cause he knew her general location but not the exact place. (she moved a lot) She said they were not allow to give him that info and since they did not know about the custody breech (they wouldn't call it kidnapping) They would have to investigate. He ended up not having to pay any back CS.

If you prove your child is in your care and you provide for most her needs he would be found in contempt and can get in big trouble. Only reason my SO's ex didn't get in trouble is because she feigned ignorance about the whole thing.

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Jul. 2, 2012 at 3:22 PM
4 moms liked this
I wouldn have allowed him to claim her for welfare in the first place. The welfare asks for a custody schedule. Sucks but hind sight is 20 20. Good luck!
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