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My friend's ex husband beat up their 14-year-old son :'''(

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My four daughters and I just spent all day Saturday with my friend and her son.  Today, she messages me on Facebook to say that her ex beat her son up pretty good this morning. She took him to the hospital where he was treated for a head concussion, swollen eye, and laceration on his cheek. I am outraged! This man doesn't even deserve to be in his son's life!  My friend spoke to the sheriff, as well as a social worker, but she is doubtful anything will be done.  This is not the first time this has happened, although it is the worst that has been done to the kid.  CPS has done NOTHING to prevent this from happening again, and are well aware of the past abuse.  My friend is hoping the LAW will DO something this time! As she said to the sheriff, "Do I have to wait until he kills my son before you guys will do anything?!" 

I just got off the phone with her. Unfortunately, we are miles away now as we live in different cities, but I found out that the man had smashed his son's head into the kitchen cupboards and then punched the kid repeatedly in the face--hard. The boy did not fight back and took the blows. 

The police have tried to locate the boy's father but to no avail.  My friend and her sons (she has two; the youngest is 7).  Please keep my friend in your prayers.  I am crying as I type this. This is just unacceptable.

Thank you.

by on Jul. 2, 2012 at 11:39 PM
Replies (71-79):
SusanArlene
by Bronze Member on Jul. 12, 2012 at 12:56 AM

UPDATE: My friend went to court today. The SOB of a father said he punched his son in the face and bashed his head into the cupboards in self-defense!  I kid you not!  I am outraged. If you knew the kid, you'd know he wouldn't harm a fly!  The bully won't even fess up to his faults, still trying to make it sound like HE is the victim.  Many of my friends were able to go to the courthouse with her (sadly, I could not get away due to jury duty).

They have managed to extend the protection order for 60 days to give CPS time to gather all the necessary documents (years worth of her trying to get the system to believe her son was being physically abused by this monster, with no one doing anything about it!).  They go back to court on September 17th.  In the meantime, the b*st*rd walks a free man!

Gaaahhh!  I wish I could beat the man's face in and claim it as self-defense. 

MissMia22
by on Jul. 12, 2012 at 3:18 PM

I hope they can nail his asss!

mhaney03
by on Jul. 12, 2012 at 3:36 PM

Nothing a baseball bat can't fix.

SusanArlene
by Bronze Member on Jul. 13, 2012 at 4:17 PM

According to my friend, he is not allowed any contact, whatsoever, not even through a third party. If he does, he is in violation of the protection order. In the meantime, the boy's injuries are healing, and he has his sense of humor back. He and my daughter are really good friends and they've been texting back and forth. His humor helps him chase the stress away.

SusanArlene
by Bronze Member on Jul. 22, 2012 at 10:51 AM

The situation just keeps going from bad to worse.  Here's the latest email we got from my friend:

"The police have finished their report and are not filing charges in our case. Dirk's story is that Nat fell and hit his face on the cabinet. The DA says it is unprosecutable. I can't desricbe how discouraging this is."

The boy had a fever of 102 last night from all the stress. This is just absolutely mind-boggling.  I am livid.  We both have a mutual friend who wrote a letter to the local paper and now we are all banding together to bring this public so that the public is aware of how messed up the legal system is. 

I just got off jury duty where we tried a man for aggravated assault against another  man.  He was IMMEDIATELY ARRESTED and handcuffed.  IMMEDIATELY! 

My friend's husband continues to walk a free man and continues to lie and manipulate the authorities who, for whatever reason, BELEIVE HIM!  Come on.  Really?  A kid is going to accidentally "fall" into the kitchen cabinets and get ALL these injuiries?  I think not. 


If there's one glimmer of hope, it's this email that I just received from my friend: 


"One deputy told me that if I fear for my child's safety, I am within my rights to not send him on visitation. Does anyone know the truth of this statement? I am more concerned that he will be able to maniplate and use the legal system to batter and hurt us, which is what he has always done in the past."

I emailed a cousin of mine whose husband is a Private Investigator (at least I think so) and is in law enforcement to see if what the deputy told her was true.  Apparently, her ex has manipulated and badgered her and her sons so much that she is literally afraid of him and of losing her sons.  The jerk is a real piece of work.  Ugh. I am so disgusted right now. 

SusanArlene
by Bronze Member on Jul. 31, 2012 at 10:44 AM


UPDATE:  My friend received a letter from the prosecuting attorney saying he was declining prosecution.  He stated that there were conflicting versions of the event and no third-party witnesses. 

The letter went on to say that the law gives a natural/custodial parent or legal guardian significant altitude in using reasonable force and "corporal punishment" in disciplining their children. In addition, it stated that it "was not clear that the father intentionally struck his son in the eye. Even if he had, it is unlikely that a jury would return a guilty verdict."

But, rather than get discouraged and give up, my friend is charging on. This is only a minor hiccup.  She had a meeting with the Volunteer Lawyers Program yesterday and her social worker called and requested a "forensic" interview with the boy, and the boy agreed. Here is her latest message to us:

"Lawyer went well. And so did the counseling. The CPS interview lasted over an hour and was grueling for Nat but I think it was a productive day, overall. Big blessings on (name withheld) for paying for our legal consultation!"

It's just an ugly, ugly mess. The boy's father is a coward, lying to the authorities about hitting his son in self-defense. It only makes him look stupid. 

MommyAJ2921
by on Jul. 31, 2012 at 11:08 PM

Time to get supervisors, the mayor, EVERYBODY involved. The squeaky wheel gets the grease. Tell her to RAISE HELL. Press charges against her ex. Where I come from what he did is called ASSAULT...not sure why he wasn't arrested but they'd get tired of seeing me at the police station EVERY DAY until something was done. Just keep in touch with her as best you can and offer your support.

Quoting SusanArlene:

My four daughters and I just spent all day Saturday with my friend and her son.  Today, she messages me on Facebook to say that her ex beat her son up pretty good this morning. She took him to the hospital where he was treated for a head concussion, swollen eye, and laceration on his cheek. I am outraged! This man doesn't even deserve to be in his son's life!  My friend spoke to the sheriff, as well as a social worker, but she is doubtful anything will be done.  This is not the first time this has happened, although it is the worst that has been done to the kid.  CPS has done NOTHING to prevent this from happening again, and are well aware of the past abuse.  My friend is hoping the LAW will DO something this time! As she said to the sheriff, "Do I have to wait until he kills my son before you guys will do anything?!" 

I just got off the phone with her. Unfortunately, we are miles away now as we live in different cities, but I found out that the man had smashed his son's head into the kitchen cupboards and then punched the kid repeatedly in the face--hard. The boy did not fight back and took the blows. 

The police have tried to locate the boy's father but to no avail.  My friend and her sons (she has two; the youngest is 7).  Please keep my friend in your prayers.  I am crying as I type this. This is just unacceptable.

Thank you.


MamaFLgurl
by Lucas' mama on Jul. 31, 2012 at 11:25 PM
How very sad and frustrating for her and her son. I wish icouls say im shocked at how little the justice system truly protects victims, but sadly I'm not. I heard in a movie once that, in court you don't get justice, just the law. I believe that for some cases. Good luck to your friend and son.
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SusanArlene
by Bronze Member on Aug. 1, 2012 at 11:12 AM


Quoting BKWx2:


Quoting SusanArlene:


Quoting BKWx2:

If the police or CPS aren't doing anything, can you call the local tv station and report it? Sadly, once situations hit the media, that's when people start doing their job. Not to compare trajedies by any mean but look at the Trayvon Martin/George Zimmerman case. It wasn't until the media turn the case into a tailspin that the police decided to step up and do their job. If the media hadn't stepped in, GZ would still be enjoying his freedom today.

Good luck! Just be there for support. Maybe even offer your friend a place to stay until she can sort where to go?

Going public is her next step. She just messaged her close friends asking us what she should/shouldn't say when she posts pictures of her son's face.  As I mentioned, this was the straw that broke the camel's back, and she is doing everything in her power to get justice.  But it has been easier said than done,  unfortunately. 

Many of us friends called the deputy in the county, and when she called him, he let her know that they were "irked" by the many phone calls.  So we are getting there, but it's been a slow process. 

I would offer her a place to stay, but I live 200 miles away.  I was vacationing with her last week and headed home on Sunday.  As I was driving home to my hometown, her son was getting his face bashed in. 

How awful that a deputy would say something like that. And the fact that the hospital didn't call police/CPS when he was in the ER for it is ridiculous. Does it take someone losing their life before they take it serious?? Because if there is another time, the kid might not be so lucky. Concussions can actually kill people.

The deputy is up for re-election, and there is a band of people from the County fighting to have him resign.  It has nothing to do with my friend's case, but from what I've read, he is a corrupt person, using company time, expenses, etc., for personal use. I sense he and my friend's ex are like best buddies or something--partners in crime. 

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