So I was talking to this man that was 38 years old off of Christianmingle.com
he seemed nice and was funny so I wanted to meet him in person. We went on two dates and had a great time. I did not want to kiss him until got to know him more but he wanted a kiss and leaned in for one(he was 6'4 and I'm 5'5) so I gave him a peck on the lips. He walked away without saying bye so I thought that was strange so an hour later I text him saying hope the kiss wasn't to bad and he sent a text back saying he didn't think we had chemistry and he said if God's willing I'll find someone. I was shocked. I was thinking how can u tell from a peck on the lips and after two dates if u have cemetery? I was like I need to have sex with someone to know if I do or don't. I don't know but I really like this guy but he wanted to move way to fast and meeting him off of Christianmingle.com I thought he would of wanted to wait and take things at a mild pace at least not fast. I guess it doesn't matter where u meeting em from they can just be looking for one thing.
I don't want to move fast but to get to know a guy and see what he is about before having sex or even giving a great passionat kiss to. Are there any guys left out there willing to move at a mild pace and not just looking for sex? Its frusturating when all I get are guys just looking for sex and nothing real and lasting. I need something lasting and will stick around.
This is the one thing I have learned about dating men that are older then me. They move a little faster then guys my age... soon to be 29. I don't mind a good kiss after one or two dates. You can tell a lot from how someone reacts to the first attempt at intimacy.
I have not found a man in a while that wants something more then to hop in the bed, but my friends keep finding them!
I wouldnt call that a mild pace--- I would call that very very very slow. you can plant your lips on his lips after date 2 if things are going well--- doesnt mean you have to hop in bed at date 3, but I would have felt rejected too. :-/
I mean if u have a great connection with a person then why would it matter to wait? idk I wasn't thinking about kissing but had my mind more on talking and getting to know him. He kept having more surprising things coming out so I wanted to hear more before kissing him.
I agree that's pretty slow. But at the same time, it really doesn't matter where you meet men - sex is important to them and I think you'd be hard pressed to find many men who are willing to wait forever.
Honestly, it sounds to me like he's just being a jerk. If you are moving slowly for whatever reason, that is totally fine - if he was the right guy, he would've respected it, wouldn't have been upset that you didn't want to move past the little peck. I would just keep looking, keep waiting. You'll find the one eventually that will meet ALL your needs, will respect ALL your beliefs (and hopefully even have the same beliefs), and will be 100% perfect for you. Obviously this guy wasn't. Let him go, and don't be hurt - perhaps he's sitting there thinking, "What did I do wrong, why didn't she want more?" Understand that thinking too hard about it will only lead you to feeling rejected. You don't need that. :)
Don't take what you see on the commercials - it's not real.
They are out there but I don't think they are ever happy about waiting... My now husband and I started out relationship out with sex involved. About 4 months down the line I had gone to counseling due to just getting out of a 13 year marriage that was abusive. So I decided that I wasn't ready to be being intimate with anyone and told my then boyfriend. We lived in the same house for a year in separate rooms with our kids ( circumstances required me to have a roommate and he needed one too so since we were going to get married we decided to house together). No sex, it was frustrating and he got upset a lot but he would always come back and tell me he understood and I was worth the wait. We were in counseling for a while to figure out how to help him understand why I needed it. So yes they are out there, they are just not common. I have a cousin who was in his 20's when he married and him and his wife had not even kissed on the lips before their wedding. So there are all kinds of extremes and then those who are out there for only one thing. Hold out and do what you feel comfortable with and God will bless you for it. It can take time though so be patient and talk to God about it.
I think he handled that very badly. I do believe that chemistry is important but chemistry is/should be more than about sex...its supposed to be about the DESIRE to do more even if you don't. That's what helps keep the attraction going. I think chemistry should be immediate when meeting a person of interest. I don't know what HIS definition of it is....but there is a place for chemistry early on in the potential relationship....not siding with him..just making a point. Still they way HE handled this leads me to feel the way you do about it...that he was really looking for something sexual.... For him to just walk away without saying goodbye...that's strange. DELETE him...and don't stress about it...NEXT! lol
My STBXH
Names?
- MicahBoo07
on Jul. 3, 2012 at 12:32 PM