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Went to court yesterday for my youngest son

Posted by on Jul. 3, 2012 at 1:46 PM
  • 14 Replies

My youngest son's dad took me to court saying he hasn't gotten to see his boy since December and he is going for half custody too.

So in court we have total opposite stories: he said December but I know he hasn't seen Roy since Feb so he lied right through his teeth. To think he put up his right arm and swore to tell the truth what a joke! Anyways so I had dates on which showed days he didn't pick up roy and times he brought him back late. I had to tell the judge everything and he still lied.

The judge said to start back up the every other weekend with his dad and added Wed to the schedule. I work an hour away and go to school an hour away so its hard for me to come back and forth esp when he isn't paying his child support and is working the lowest amount he can so he doesnt' have to pay child support. Background on how he can do that is he got with a person that has 5 kids and she gets child support for those kids so they living off that money. It sickens me that he can do that but he won't pay for his own child. I had to take my son out of daycare because he got to pay less in child support so now my son isn't learning as he should but he is smart and has retained the stuff he did learn.

I don't see how a dead beat guy that lives off someone else can be even thought of given half custody. I do everything for my son and he does nothing but gets his on his dads then hes done until his next time/days come. 

The judge told him last time he had to get a better job but he hasn't he went down even more in hours. Its sad how guys don't want better for there kid(s).

I am so mad right now and now we have to go to another place so they can determine if he gets half custody or not. I don't agree and don't want that for my son at all. Hes just doing it cause hes a puppet for the girl he with and she pulls all the strings. She tried coming in the court room to sit on in the hearing and the judge said if anyone objects and I shook my head yes so she had to leave the dumb broad will not be taking my place ever with my son. I don't like girls that think they can take over just cause they with the guy and the real mom isn't. She can go to H*ll all I care thinking she going to get my baby away from me.

My child is scared to go with him and the judge told me the only way to prove it was to get my son to see a psychiatrist and that person say why he is scared of him. I am concerned but not sure how to get one.

Have u went threw this before or anything like this and did ur ex get half custody or how can u prevent it if at all?

by on Jul. 3, 2012 at 1:46 PM
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Replies (1-10):
animebuddy
by Platinum Member on Jul. 3, 2012 at 4:00 PM
I don't have any advice so bumping
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cdjd23
by on Jul. 3, 2012 at 7:23 PM

BUMP!

rae021
by on Jul. 3, 2012 at 7:40 PM
I go go on Friday . My dd father wants her 50/50 as well.
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deprogrammed
by on Jul. 3, 2012 at 7:47 PM
3 moms liked this

Yes, I've been through it.  I can't begin to tell you how important it is to document everything, right down to having someone else there when he is scheduled to puck up you child (and can attest to whether he did or didn't) to the receipts for buying diapers.  It's cumbersome, but necessary.  The fact that he is under/unemployed with so many kids speaks to his mentality and lack of morality. 

You want full custody with visitation only; but be prepared - he won't get paid so he probably won't bother to visit.  Your son deserves a positive male role model, and it doesn't have to be the sperm donor.  I hope you have male friends to whom you can point and say "this is what a responsible human being does" instead of the unfortunate man who happens to be his dad.

zennen
by on Jul. 3, 2012 at 7:50 PM

Save every receipt to prove all of your expenses, like the gas for driving back and forth.  If your son says anything about his treatment when he is with his dad and the new, slutty girlfriend, document it.  Medicaid will pay for a counselor, if you can get your son on that.  

I had an ex that liked sleeping around and wanted full custody of my daughters.  I had everything working against me, and my ex was banging his attorney while they were trying to take my girls away.  My way around it was to insist that I had full physical custody, but we would have joint decision-making custody.  ( I made all of their decisions anyway- since he couldn't think his way out of a paper sack.)  This way he thought he had some control.  This bought me some time while I was proving that he was too irresponsible to have them full time.  Document ALL correspondence you have with him, and save everything.    When you drop off or pick up your son (or he picks him up) write down the exact time.  If it is possible, have someone with you who can be a witness to the exchange.  What most men want is control- they are more interested in that than in their child's well-being.  Eventually he will screw up and you will have what you need when you go back to court.  Stay strong.  This is YOUR child.  Your ex's sluts will come and go, but you will always be the mom.  :)

brieri
by Platinum Member on Jul. 3, 2012 at 7:54 PM

If you want to make the proof of things happening in your case, then you got to do what the judge says, otherwise the judge is going to continue giving visits for the child.  Good luck.

Allebas
by Member on Jul. 3, 2012 at 7:55 PM

I'm so sorry you are dealing with ALL this MESS!! Definately keep ALL receipts, etc that previous posters have stated!! I HOPE you get FULL custody!! GOOD LUCK!!!

Debbin
by on Jul. 3, 2012 at 8:01 PM
Get an Attny PRONTO! You can request Mediation, and he/she can speak with your child and pass the information to the Judge. Also, make an appt with your childs Dr. And tell them the fear situation, they can record that and also steer you in the right direction. Document EVERYTHING! Call the Courthouse and or Bar Association in the State you live in as most States require lawyers to do Pro-Bono. Other Attorneys do it on a Volunteer basis anyway. Also you want a Shark, an Attorney that WILL fight for you and your child. Judge sounds like a jerk, A good attorney will set your court date with a Judge they have appeared in front of before. Do NOT get discouraged, and be ready to fight for your child! Also DO YOUR RESEARCH. Best of luck. EDIT: Sadly, and we ALL know this: visitation and not paying support are 2 separate issues, that bites I know. If he gets weekend visitation, you CAN request that his current bimbo of the week NOT be around your child. Had a friend win that argument because it is NOT a good example for your child. Also, you are NOT required to do all the driving as far as picking up, etc. There should be a place right in the middle where you can meet, and always take a family member or close friend with you. One other thing, NEVER EVER say anything negative about the deadbeat to your child, Judges hate that and will use it against you. Again, do your research, and fight for your child! Keep the faith!
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easinpc
by Gold Member on Jul. 3, 2012 at 8:33 PM
I agree with the other moms, make sure that you document everything! Do you gave an attorney to help you with this?
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Tashia07
by on Jul. 4, 2012 at 8:27 AM

A lawyer could possibly help you! Why do you think she wants your son and is behind of this?

Quoting easinpc:

I agree with the other moms, make sure that you document everything! Do you gave an attorney to help you with this?


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