Dealing with my ex and his former mistress (now fiance)
Hi - I have wonderul family and friends who are all happily married! Great for them but a year and a half ago my husband walked out on me and my toddler to move in with his mistress and they are now engaged. I could go on, and on, about how difficult they are to deal with but there's probably a word limit :-) Bottom line: it seems to make them feel better about the terrible way they've acted to treat me as if I'm the one who was terrible or that everything I request is unreasonable.
I would love to meet other moms dealing with an ex or maybe there's somebody out there in my same situation (although I hope there's not a lot of you!). My friends are amazing but there are some things that I think you can only understand when you're going through it.
First vent...my ex's fiance wants to be included on any contact between my ex and I (she doesn't trust him - ha!) even being on speaker phone when he talks to our daughter. My daughter is too young to hold the phone herself or operate the computer during a Skype chat so I get stuck listening to the both of them (sample, "Susie wants to say hi. Say I love you to Susie!"). Anyone have a mantra or coping device when having to listen to this? I obviously want my daughter to talk with her dad and I don't want her to see how annoyed I am, but it's so annoying!
i am right there with you almost down the T................I have a daugter who is 2.5 years old and i i cant stand it either but my ex husband is married to her now ...............its funny that they think it wont happen to them. I just try and not listen to them talk by watching tv or doing somthing eles even if the phone is on speaker and when this wife is talking to her i dont make her say anything back bc she is only to and i dont feel like i need to force her to respond back to her now her father yes i feel like she needs to respond. Put sometimes she will not talk to him on the phone at all she is just busy playing
Sounds like it may be time for a Come to Jesus meeting with her to explain to her that YOU are her mother.
Thanks! So nice to know there are others dealing with this stuff and it's not just me.
I do snap sometimes, and have had to get my lawyer involved for non-negotiables but that is expensive! I know if I wait them out she'll be gone soon, he lies to her just like he does to everyone else. Did I mention they are both narcissists and you CANNOT reason with them. No empathy for other humans at all so it's hard to have a discussion of any kind. I have tried just stepping into the other room to do dishes or something and I think I'll do that more.
So nice to hear from you guys and know you're out there! For Macenna's mom - my daugher was just over two when he left. It does get easier the older she gets. She has a BS-meter just like anyone else and even though I would never tell her anything bad about her dad she'll figure out exactly who he is on her own. I can't wait until she can have her own "kid" cell phone to call me when she's at her dad's because that is a constant source of frustration (and why I had to get the lawyer involved). Good luck!
Good news, im so excited!
- StarMama890
on Jul. 4, 2012 at 1:18 PM