I need someone who can explain good to tell me what it's like, reality, pain, suffering to be a single mom? I'm sorry worried about our daughter being tossed around the holidays and such, my ex doesn't even want to try to decide on something, and I fear if the courts do it, he'll get more visitation than he deserves. (long story short, he's more interested in buying motorcycles then helping pay for her medicines etc.). I think the only reason why he would want joint custody, is so he didn't have to pay child support. He wants us to work on an amount per month, and not go through the courts, the guy makes at least $25 an hour.. about $5,000 a month. Girls with experience, is this a good idea to work out an amount, or is it better to go through the courts? I'm going to have to get as much as I can per month because rent up here is high (and yes I think a roof over a child's head constitutes a good reason to use some of the child support money for). How do you get over a guy you have a kid with, and been with off and on for 6 years? Is it even possible?