How long until you put out?

[ngarciaf]

Hey ladies. I'm open to dating right now but it's been sooooo long since I had a first date (about nine years) that I'm not sure what some of the expectations are. Yes I know we can all set the limits and pace. But what usually happens when you start dating? Personal experience? I don't kiss on a first date. See I had a high school sweetheart that I dated for six years. Then had a college sweetheart that I dated for almost nine (son's father). I'm quite sure dating in my thirties is way different than high school and college dating. What has been your experience?

[Charlotte1608]

90 days has always been what i've done. It certainly weeds out the losers.

[SweetDea]

I have dated 9 guys but only slept with one of them. The guy i am sleeping with now has been my one and only, i put out rather fast.

[MicheleJM]

I just found men who wanted hookups on POF. And that was after I wrote no hookups. I am on okcupid but I dont look at it. I am just sick of dating.

[StephMarie_Mom]

I do what feels instinctually right for me depending on the situation. If I can tell right off the bat that he just wants my goodies, I'll cut the date short. If he seems stand up, then I'll keep paying attention until I feel comfortable. After dealing with so many assholes, it makes it easy to spot the losers. And I agree with faerie about paying.... a LADY does not and should not have to pay on a first date. If he's interested and wants to make a good impression, he should pull out the old school gentlemanly charm. There are some men out there that will do that....

[ngarciaf]

So the guys on POF, did you guys talk about it not being a hook up and then when u met, he wanted sex?

[faerie75]

You can sort the strictly sex guys our because they will right away want to talk about sex. Or try to get you to "meet at the house to watch movies". I NEVER just "hang out" until I have been on several paid for dates. 1. It shows that I'm worth their time 2. Shows he don't mind being in public with me and 3. Shows he's not just a broke ass.

[mjkurtz71]

I was new to dating after 20 years, and yes dating at 40 is dramatically different than dating at 20. First, I am so much more wise. Second, I know what I do and don't want. Third, I understand the consequences (good & bad) of my actions. I joined Match.com to prove to my heart what my head already understood...not all men suck. I had several first dates and learned a lot about the art of conversation. One of those men was someone I felt comfortable with immediately, safe and secure, and like he could handle anything I could dish out. That was incredibly appealing and I ended up sleeping with him on the 2nd date...why not? was my motto. I don't regret it, and my psychologist says it is typical to have sex somewhere between the 3rd & 5th dates. I'm looking for a slow-emotionally paced relationship, not a marriage, so this is working out well. Good luck!