Confused and lost on life direction

[alysiah83]

My sons father and I separated just about a year ago and we both moved back in whith our parents. Our 3 yr olds time is equally shared (50/50) btwn us, although I work full time and his dad is still on unemployment due to a work related injury. I want to move 30 min north from where I reside with my parents because that is where my job of 5 mo is. My sons father currently already lives 30 min south from where my parents live, and he may only be able to find a suitable, well paying job 30 min even farther south. I wanted to also move to where my job was because there was an excellent college I wanted to attend but due to several curriculum changes, it's difficult to average the grades they demand while working full time as a single parent, and still try and find the time for homework and sleep so I have opted to hold off on school till our son starts school. Is it unreasonable to ask my sons father to try and make it work in a town he would have to accept a lower paying, less fulfilling job just so we can be close enough that neither of us has to become a weekend parent when our child starts kindergarten 2 years from now? In my career, I have many options for employment, should I instead move south towards where my sons father is guaranteed a better paying job? I feel so lost and confused. To me, both options in theory, are good options, but what is the best for our son?

[MichelleSw]

If you two can talk with arguing, I would discuss it with him. Seems like if you both both farther south; it will be win,win! Good luck!

[sohypo]

If u are the one working and u have plans for school then i would say go with that. he can find a job anywhere. u are already established somewhere and have plans. if the 50/50 parenting works for u two then i think you should do everything u can to keep that up.

[brieri]

 As long as you two are living in the same City not necessarily County or Rural District you really don't have a say in where he lives any more than he can have a say where you reside.  There are options of pick up and drop off locations so you can both be equal distance if that is a problem. 

[brieri]

 BTW Hi and welcome to the group.

[JoslynClay]

I think it's kind for you to consider "him"...but what about you? No one knows the ins/outs of yalls departure & what about the child? Like above, you are the established parent w/a goal set. Don't stop; keep moving forward while you are motivated to! The percentage rate of students wanting to go to school & actually doing it is of course far more greater. I speak from '18' yrs widespan experience :( Atleast you both have the child's best interest @ heart; neither of you will mind meeting & I'm sure if your ex really cares, he'd take in extra time to tend to the childcare for your schooling. It will be better not only you for you, but your child(: Good luck (;