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Need an outsiders opinion!

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okay so i'm 19, and ive been really close best friends with a friend of mine since my freshman year of highschool. shes been through EVERYTHING with me, including two heartbreaks and the birth of my child. we are still very close and she loves me and my family to death. i love hers as well. well i met her cousin (who is 26 now) three years ago and we have always been flirtatious with each other. he always joked about how we would get together when i became of age. haha, hes very sweet and has an awesome job! (hes a firefighter) he was there for me through a lot, weather it be helping me with my ex boyfriend or being there when my son was born he was there. (he also lives and works an hour away) well recently for my bestfrineds graduation i threw her a party and he admitted to me after i left that he really wanted to kiss me and now i see that i really have liked him for a while, he has a girlfriend thats he is miserable with and will be breaking things off with. and he came over a week ago and he cheated on her with me. i haven't told my bestfriend yet but she is already assuming considering i drove down to his fire house the other night to hang out with him. i want to tell her soon ( i think i am going to on thursday). He loves children and loves my son and my son loves him! ive never been with an acutal good guy i tend to go for losers and he knows this so i'm nervous on where this might lead. i just want an outsiders opinion on this situation and if its bad to persue this.

 

by on Jul. 18, 2012 at 3:39 PM
Replies (51-60):
M_Williams
by on Jul. 18, 2012 at 9:20 PM
I think so too. He really likes the boy but it's not his baby and the gf shouldn't have put that much pressure on him I he didn't want that


Quoting SweetDea:

he should have left a long time ago, before letting it get this far.



Quoting M_Williams:

I don't know he full reason but she has a young son and is like making him call him daddy so he's stuck trying to figure out how to leave because she's so dependent on him. But I told him he needs to leave now before the baby is old enough to understand what's happening!






Quoting SweetDea:

if he isn't happy why is he waiting to break it off with her? sounds weird to me. Run!


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EyansMom143
by on Jul. 18, 2012 at 10:45 PM
Everything happens for a reason. . . I'm just waiting it out. If it happens it does, I can only hope for that day! Especially because we're so good together :) Good luck!!

Quoting M_Williams:

It is hard! Very very hard. It really sucks too but maybe if we are meant to be with them it will happen for us :) I'm the same way I call his aunt my mom and everything! I just hope it works out the three years of constant flirting is crazy and when we ecently hooked up it's now hard to get him out of my head!




Quoting EyansMom143:

 I know, he has a girlfriend that no one in the family likes and its like meant to be haha. I'm soo close with his family, I call their grandparents grandma and grandpa. . . like right now their grandpa is really sick  and i've been hanging out there a lot more, and seeing him a lot more often. Because of this, he twas texting me all the time.  We hung out a few weeks back and kissed, but now the tables were turned and I was the single one. I didn't want to put myself in the position of being a home-wrecker so i told him we needed to back down, and have since then, but when we see each other it's like we know we want to be together, SO HARD



Quoting M_Williams:

That is just like ours! But timing was always wrong. That's crazy that it is so similar! I just wish now that I'm staying single he'd break it off with his girl that makes him miserable and we can test thigs out!




Quoting EyansMom143:



 I had the exact same situation with my Besties cousin. Him and I always had this thing for eachother, but the timing was never right. I told her that I had a thing for him and always let her know up front. My Ds's dad and I were having issues and I went out with them and that was the first time that I had kissed him. It all felt so right. In the end, like I said, the timing has always been off. Either I was in a relationship or he was. We still talk and keep in touch, and we had always made it a point that if anything ever did happen between us, we would tell my bestie and make sure that our relationship stayed seperate from her and my friendship.




 


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M_Williams
by on Jul. 18, 2012 at 10:56 PM
1 mom liked this
I was going to say he exact same thing! Thank you for your insight and good luck to you too!!(:


Quoting EyansMom143:

Everything happens for a reason. . . I'm just waiting it out. If it happens it does, I can only hope for that day! Especially because we're so good together :) Good luck!!



Quoting M_Williams:

It is hard! Very very hard. It really sucks too but maybe if we are meant to be with them it will happen for us :) I'm the same way I call his aunt my mom and everything! I just hope it works out the three years of constant flirting is crazy and when we ecently hooked up it's now hard to get him out of my head!






Quoting EyansMom143:

 I know, he has a girlfriend that no one in the family likes and its like meant to be haha. I'm soo close with his family, I call their grandparents grandma and grandpa. . . like right now their grandpa is really sick  and i've been hanging out there a lot more, and seeing him a lot more often. Because of this, he twas texting me all the time.  We hung out a few weeks back and kissed, but now the tables were turned and I was the single one. I didn't want to put myself in the position of being a home-wrecker so i told him we needed to back down, and have since then, but when we see each other it's like we know we want to be together, SO HARD




Quoting M_Williams:

That is just like ours! But timing was always wrong. That's crazy that it is so similar! I just wish now that I'm staying single he'd break it off with his girl that makes him miserable and we can test thigs out!





Quoting EyansMom143:




 I had the exact same situation with my Besties cousin. Him and I always had this thing for eachother, but the timing was never right. I told her that I had a thing for him and always let her know up front. My Ds's dad and I were having issues and I went out with them and that was the first time that I had kissed him. It all felt so right. In the end, like I said, the timing has always been off. Either I was in a relationship or he was. We still talk and keep in touch, and we had always made it a point that if anything ever did happen between us, we would tell my bestie and make sure that our relationship stayed seperate from her and my friendship.





 



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MommyAJ2921
by on Jul. 18, 2012 at 11:13 PM

To quote Dr. Phil....

"if he did it with you, he'll do it to you". Be careful, wait until he's done with the current girlfriend, give him time to get her out of his system and take YOUR time getting to know him. If he doesn't like it, move on.

Robsessed98
by on Jul. 18, 2012 at 11:26 PM
1 mom liked this

I don't see anything wrong with pursuing it as far as him being your friends cousin, but there is a problem with pursuing anything as long as he is in a relationship, regardless of whether or not it's a good one.  Wait until he's out of the relationship, then see it through if that's what you want to do.  If you don't wait, you will end up hurt.

Mamaof2divas
by on Jul. 18, 2012 at 11:34 PM

 You might want to slow down a little. He isn't even broken up with his girlfriend yet so why would you "mess around" with him? Would you like it if your man did that to you? Before things got that far you should have talked to your girl (friend) about how you felt about her cousin and told him after he breaks up with his girl friend and has taken some time to clear his head then girl come to you. You want a relationship to start on the right foot so that it has a chance to last.

M_Williams
by on Jul. 19, 2012 at 8:25 AM
That's a goo quote from a wise man and I didn't think like that. But I still think people change but I'm waiting before anything goes further to see if he really would work for me, because I don't want to be hurt in the end. And yes on MY time! Thank you


Quoting MommyAJ2921:

To quote Dr. Phil....


"if he did it with you, he'll do it to you". Be careful, wait until he's done with the current girlfriend, give him time to get her out of his system and take YOUR time getting to know him. If he doesn't like it, move on.


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M_Williams
by on Jul. 19, 2012 at 8:26 AM
You're right I do want it to start on the right foot.


Quoting Mamaof2divas:

 You might want to slow down a little. He isn't even broken up with his girlfriend yet so why would you "mess around" with him? Would you like it if your man did that to you? Before things got that far you should have talked to your girl (friend) about how you felt about her cousin and told him after he breaks up with his girl friend and has taken some time to clear his head then girl come to you. You want a relationship to start on the right foot so that it has a chance to last.


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LifeCafe42
by Nora on Jul. 19, 2012 at 8:36 AM


Quoting amylulu1:

 Once he is no longer dating the other girl, maybe you should pursue it.  There is nothing wrong with casual dating to see if you are compatible.  Good luck!

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owl0210
by Bronze Member on Jul. 19, 2012 at 8:47 AM

If he's cheating with you he will cheat on you.

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