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Need help with this one.

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So in case you haven't read one of my Last posts.. I'm talking to my Bestfriends cousin. We have always had a thing between us and he's been coming over and it just feels right. We are finlly both single at the same time and I would like to persue this but of course first I wanted to talk to my bestfriend. I feel it's only right. Well she keeps avoiding the situation.. I know she assumes I like him she has told my cousin that. Last night my cousin also told me that she had said "that won't happen, it just won't. If drew dates her I will not talk to him or her for a long time" now I feel just shunned and disrespected because thats my bestfriend. Granted I can see why she might be uncomfortable with it but I thought shed warm up to it. I wouldn't ever let me and his relations get in between me and hers nor would I put her in the middle I mean it's not her place to be in the middle. This is the first guy to truly make me happy (and even have butterflies) since I met my BD 4 years ago.. He's a fire fighter, cute, sweet, and loves my son. He's always been there for me even when we weren't talking and I just feel so right with him. But I don't know what to do now because of what my bestfriend is saying. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you very much!
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by on Jul. 23, 2012 at 8:19 AM
Replies (11-19):
Dawnie-marie
by Dawn on Jul. 24, 2012 at 6:57 AM
1 mom liked this

sounds like not much of a best friend if she is going to be like that. my best friend is always supportive of me no matter who I date. i'd say go for it


P1X1E_MOM
by on Jul. 24, 2012 at 9:06 AM

All I have to say is.... Don't give up on LOVE

happymommy1105
by Gold Member on Jul. 24, 2012 at 9:08 AM
He's perfect except that whole cheating thing............

He would have to do some major character improvement before I would date him.
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M_Williams
by on Jul. 24, 2012 at 10:05 AM
Yes he is Like my dream guy? Lol I know the cheating thing. We're goin to wait it out a bit an just casually date before getting serious. I agree my bestfriend should be happy for me and supportive considering everything she's seen with my past relationships. We're going to have to have a talk because i want to consider her but she putting her self in the middle where she doesn't belong! You're right never give up on love! So I'm not who knows where this can go! Thank you all for your advice and support y'all are the best!(:
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MicheleJM
by on Jul. 24, 2012 at 10:13 AM


Quoting M_Williams:

Yes he is Like my dream guy? Lol I know the cheating thing. We're goin to wait it out a bit an just casually date before getting serious. I agree my bestfriend should be happy for me and supportive considering everything she's seen with my past relationships. We're going to have to have a talk because i want to consider her but she putting her self in the middle where she doesn't belong! You're right never give up on love! So I'm not who knows where this can go! Thank you all for your advice and support y'all are the best!(:

If he's cheating on his gf with you then I can understand your bff.  She may be concerned about his character or afraid you may get hurt.  Or she flat out disapproves of the whole thing.  I wouldn't end a friendship over it but I'd be concerned about it.

M_Williams
by on Jul. 24, 2012 at 11:21 AM
I understand that completley but by not talking to us? She didn't seem concerned she was more mad. If it was a concerning thing I would feel where she's comin from


Quoting MicheleJM:



Quoting M_Williams:

Yes he is Like my dream guy? Lol I know the cheating thing. We're goin to wait it out a bit an just casually date before getting serious. I agree my bestfriend should be happy for me and supportive considering everything she's seen with my past relationships. We're going to have to have a talk because i want to consider her but she putting her self in the middle where she doesn't belong! You're right never give up on love! So I'm not who knows where this can go! Thank you all for your advice and support y'all are the best!(:

If he's cheating on his gf with you then I can understand your bff.  She may be concerned about his character or afraid you may get hurt.  Or she flat out disapproves of the whole thing.  I wouldn't end a friendship over it but I'd be concerned about it.


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Inala
by on Jul. 24, 2012 at 12:53 PM
1 mom liked this
Maybe after a while she will come around. Family and girlfriends dating is a tricky situation especially if things don't work out. You don't want to hear things about her from him and you don't want to hear things from him about her. It's like trying to have conversations with a pink elephant in the room. It happened to me with a girlfriend some years ago and things ended badly between them. Once things ended between them things were never the same between us and we are not in contact with each other at all now. My cousin and I are still close and things didn't change with us at all. I hope things things turn out differently for you and your BFF.


miss_AP
by on Jul. 24, 2012 at 1:31 PM

Maybe she just needs some time. have a heart-to-heart and tell her what you told us. Maybe she's just afraid. I thought for awhile my best friend and my sister were going to hook up and it sort of made me uncomfortable, but it wasn't because I didn't like them or want them to be together, I just knew each of them better than they knew each other so I could see SOOO many problems. And regardless of how they acted I was pretty sure I would feel in the middle. But....I decided that was my problem, not theirs, and its not of my business who they want to be with so I kept my mouth shut. Turns out they didn't get together, but it would've been okay if they had. Mostly i was concerned about losing my friend since family for me trumps friend...but that friend is the godfather of my kiddos and my oldest friend, he was a bridesmaid for me...and if things went south between them, THAT'S when I worried about being in the middle.


Maybe just address her fears and it can work out. At the end of the day, i say do what makes you happy and if she can't come along and be happy for you, then she's not truly your friend. I'm in a similar but much more volatile situation....if you ever want to chat just msg me! I'll be happy to share my plans!

M_Williams
by on Jul. 24, 2012 at 1:37 PM
Thank you very much your response helps a lot. I can see Why she might feel this way and I just want to talk to Her and hopefully ease her into the situation!! Thankyou again(:


Quoting miss_AP:

Maybe she just needs some time. have a heart-to-heart and tell her what you told us. Maybe she's just afraid. I thought for awhile my best friend and my sister were going to hook up and it sort of made me uncomfortable, but it wasn't because I didn't like them or want them to be together, I just knew each of them better than they knew each other so I could see SOOO many problems. And regardless of how they acted I was pretty sure I would feel in the middle. But....I decided that was my problem, not theirs, and its not of my business who they want to be with so I kept my mouth shut. Turns out they didn't get together, but it would've been okay if they had. Mostly i was concerned about losing my friend since family for me trumps friend...but that friend is the godfather of my kiddos and my oldest friend, he was a bridesmaid for me...and if things went south between them, THAT'S when I worried about being in the middle.


Maybe just address her fears and it can work out. At the end of the day, i say do what makes you happy and if she can't come along and be happy for you, then she's not truly your friend. I'm in a similar but much more volatile situation....if you ever want to chat just msg me! I'll be happy to share my plans!


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