So my mom tells me i'm a bad parent I need to learn parenting skills. I'm 24 single mother my daughter is 4 I've been raising her on my own since day 1.
I work and provide for myself. I admit I do not have all the patience in the world and often times catch myself screaming for any little thing. I try my best and i'm learning as I go. I would say I don't have much of a social life at times I feel a bit depressed I know I can't take out my sadness on my child so i.would just lay there and cry. I need advice as to how do I cope with this. Please help
Also, try different ways to practice patience. Put your kid in timeout in the corner or in their room until you are calm enough to deal with them. Timeout doesn't just help the kid, it helps you too. I have patience issues, too and I find that timeout is sometimes the best way for me to deal with my kid
First a mother of all people should not call their own child a bad parent. But it does often happen alot of times bc as grandparents they think they know whats best and although they may have raised us and know alot bc of their expierence and age that doesn't mean - bad parent.
Just breathe!!! The screaming or constantly "nagging" at a child does not make them listen or follow your home rules any better - I am saying this bc I to am guilty of the yelling bc I am frustrated bc I feel as if my children do not listen, but what I realized I did not properly discipline my kids.
I will post below - my new miracle:
Follow a routine; have a time for each thing (example: wake up-6am, go to bathroom, wash face, get dressed, eat breakfast etc...) try not to break routine unless its a have to. Do this for each day of the week.
Make a 10 family rules list (where child can see at all times, although child may not be able to read yet-go over with them) be precise, do not use terms be good (bc that is subject for opinion) examples: 1. Respect each other (explain respect) 2. Do not argue when you are told something 3. Put toys away in toy box/bin when you are finished playing 4. Put your dirty clothes in laundry basket 5. eat all your food at breakfast, lunch, supper and snack times 6. Do not open the door for anyone you don't know even if you are talking through the door; get mommy. 7. Do not go outside alone 8. etc....
Good luck.
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REWARDS Reward your child with privileges, praise, or activities, rather than with food or toys. Change rewards frequently. Kids get bored if the reward is always the same. Make a chart with points or stars awarded for good behavior, so your child has a visual reminder of his or her successes. Immediate rewards work better than the promise of a future reward, but small rewards leading to a big one can also work. Always follow through with a reward. |
CONSEQUENCES Consequences should be spelled out in advance and occur immediately after your child has misbehaved. Try time-outs and the removal of privileges as consequences for misbehavior. Remove your child from situations and environments that trigger inappropriate behavior. When your child misbehaves, ask what he or she could have done instead. Then have your child demonstrate it. Always follow through with a consequence. |
Good ideas!
Welcome to the group.
Quoting StephMarie_Mom:
If you're having a difficult time and want to practice more patience all I can suggest is either parenting books or classes and maybe some therapy to help cope.
Also, try different ways to practice patience. Put your kid in timeout in the corner or in their room until you are calm enough to deal with them. Timeout doesn't just help the kid, it helps you too. I have patience issues, too and I find that timeout is sometimes the best way for me to deal with my kid
Hey there! Welcome to the group.
Don't worry about what your mom says. As long as you're trying your hardest you're doing what you have to do.
I yell, scream, and get frustrated a lot. My boys are 12 and 7. believe me. It's hard. Especially when you're doing it on your own. I've been where you are, crying, depressed, not knowing how to cope with anything.
Have you thought about writing in a journal. I do that when I get really really depressed and just start crying. I'll write about everything and anything. I don't care if it makes sense or not.
Do you have any girl friends that you can go out and have fun with, even if they have kids, make a playdate at the park, get out fresh air and meet new mom's with kids your kids same age. Getting around people you can relate with and who are positive can help you feel better.
If you need to talk, please feel free to add me as a friend and PM me... I'm here
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on Jul. 29, 2012 at 4:16 PM