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I miss my real baby, not this brat my ex keeps sending me back!

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So me and my son's father split up a year ago. We finalized the custody.

I have a wonderful 3 year old boy named Logan, and a boyfriend named Nick who is so wonderful with him. We will be together for a year in September.

My problem?

Logan has always been such a sweet boy. Nice and caring. When I tell him not to do something, he obeys, and runs off to play with something else. He has seriously been the BEST behaved 3 year old ever!

However, he is having a hard time adjusting. Whenever my ex brings him to me, I can tell he does not get disciplined there. He comes back and is screaming. Is sucking his fingers (has NEVER done that before) and EVERY time i tell him not to do something he screams "no. no. no."

I hate it. I love my son so much. But this isn't him. I hate to say it but he is acting like a brat. And he is not. He knows better than to act like this. And I just don't know how to handle this at all! I'm so frustrated. This isnt' my sweet baby boy. 

And my ex and I do NOT get along at all. Any advice on the best way to discipline him and handle these mood swings???

by on Aug. 2, 2012 at 1:52 PM
Replies (41-50):
R3G1N4_L0V3
by on Aug. 4, 2012 at 10:55 AM

Take his butt back to court! =)

EcoModernMom
by on Aug. 4, 2012 at 11:13 AM
1 mom liked this

you can't take him to court for lack of dicipline. welcome to my life, i have a wonderful 5 year who doesn't get discipline, at all, at her fathers...and he puts all this awful stuff in her head, and i could go on and on but i will just say it sucks..... can't do anything in court..as long as she is fed (even if it is cake only) and not physically abused or drugs involved  he can do whatever he wants, sadly.

jordonmasonmom
by on Aug. 4, 2012 at 11:17 AM

I agree that this is something all small children go through until they adjust.

kitty8199
by on Aug. 4, 2012 at 11:20 AM
You can. My ex's ex did it. It wasn't for lack of, but it was for wanting specific discipline.

Quoting EcoModernMom:

you can't take him to court for lack of dicipline. welcome to my life, i have a wonderful 5 year who doesn't get discipline, at all, at her fathers...and he puts all this awful stuff in her head, and i could go on and on but i will just say it sucks..... can't do anything in court..as long as she is fed (even if it is cake only) and not physically abused or drugs involved  he can do whatever he wants, sadly.

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JLS2388
by on Aug. 4, 2012 at 11:21 AM

My DD went through that too at that age, my ex would bring her back and she was a little monster. Give your son some time to adjust back to your house when he gets home, remember, this is probably very confusing for him. Maybe let him watch a movie or something calm. But be consistent, once he learns that the rules apply at mom's house no matter what dad does, it will get better. It will not last forever

tbursac777
by on Aug. 4, 2012 at 11:27 AM

 you need to talk to your ex. for the welfare of your son. it has nothing to do with you, or him. but your son. you need to keep it civil, and not play the blame game.. it may just be the age.

mama2gg
by on Aug. 4, 2012 at 11:36 AM

 I would stop blaming your EX and look into what REALLY causing this my son was the same way because he "thought" he could get away with it 3-4 year olds are SMARTER then they act...they know how to push those buttons and act bad to get what they want from you or him or anyone else for that matter...

 

Once my ds learned the mom and dad talk EVERYDAY and that he cant get away with whatever that shit stopped FAST

Granted I HATE talking to my ex but we sat down as a FORCE and showed DS that we were STILL talking and he couldnt get away with being a shit!!!

 

Your right he is acting like a brat and will always if he thinks he can!

Best advice

1. set down with your ex AND your DS and let your DS know he can NOT get away with things just because you two are not together that you are co-parents and will KNOW whats going on with him no matter where he is

2. set down rules in BOTH places yes regardless of if you THINK this can be done it can with time,help,talking and learning to get along with your ex (even if you have to FAKE it to make it its for your child)

cherryohcherry
by on Aug. 4, 2012 at 11:55 AM

This could also be a part of terrible twos and threes. I would just tell you to remain firm because it could be a passing phase. 


daiseymae2
by on Aug. 4, 2012 at 12:02 PM
1 mom liked this

Perhaps you should talk to a child therapist about how to help him adjust from 1 house to the other. 

LuvUSoMuch
by on Aug. 4, 2012 at 12:08 PM

Bump - to read later. :)

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