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Do you have full custody? Edited to add

Posted by on Aug. 3, 2012 at 6:50 PM
  • 33 Replies

 If so did you go to court to get it or does your state automatically give it to the mother? What state are you in? If you went to court, how long did it take you and how much (estimate) did it cost you? Was it a civil case or did you and your ex bf/dh argue it out?

Do your exes have visitation or anything? What about child support?

ETA: I already recieve c.s. (when he chooses to pay it, which is about every 6 months to avoid going to jail) In NC both parents have equal rights unless a parent has papers stating otherwise. I bumped my story that I posted earlier this year. It's 6 parts and it explains the history between him and I.

by on Aug. 3, 2012 at 6:50 PM
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by on Aug. 3, 2012 at 6:54 PM
When I got my divorce it took 3months. I got full custody . He gets them every other weekend. He pays cold support. The lawyer set that up the day he sign papers. It Was civil case.
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by on Aug. 3, 2012 at 7:01 PM
When applying for c.s., I got sole custody because he didn't make any effort to see my son until after the c.s. paper were sent. I applied for c.s. when my son turned 2yrs old.
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by on Aug. 3, 2012 at 7:02 PM

I got sole custody when I went for divorce, it took forever because I had to go through legal aid. My ex didn't have any say because at the time he was in prison, and no since he has been out he has not seen the kids, hasn't even asked. Working on the child support now, not sure what is going to happen with that.

by on Aug. 3, 2012 at 8:11 PM
I have full custody. I volunteered to walk away from child support to protect my son from being drug through the courts for the next 18 years being used by his Father and being at the whim of a judge's decision. It took me nearly a year to conclude my court case. Visitation is also at my discretion, praise God. Oh it cost me a lot of time and $4,000.00.
by on Aug. 3, 2012 at 8:33 PM

the state only gives full custody automatically if there is no father on the birth certificate, and no father has signed an acknowledgement of paternity (in which case the state doesn't know who the father is, so the mother is the only custodial parent on record).. HOWEVER, the father can still get a court order to get a paternity test and this can of course change things.

The state can also grant custody to one parent or another automatically if one parent is deemed unfit. 

However a majority of the time, if you want sole custody, you have to go to court and fight for it.. or at least mediation.  This pretty much applies in all states.

Me personally:  yes I have full custody. yes I had to go to court for custody. It didn't cost me anything, as I didn't get a lawyer... it wasn't necessary since he agreed to what I wanted.  (although costs can vary state to state I believe, but dont' quote me). We live in NY. It took about 2 months to get the court date (a month for them to file it and mail out the court date, and the court date itself was about a month from the date they mailed out the date you needed to attend). It's all done in family court. Custody and child support are two different issues.. so if you want child support as well, you'll have to file separately for that.

My ex currently has supervised visitation. ALthough we don't have a visitation schedule.. I can agree to whom I want to act as superviser (which is typically myself, his mother, or my parents). I do get child support, however he claims poverty and refuses to work.. so only pays $25 a month for two kids (no that's not a typo.. $25.. that's it.  Although I"m currently trying to just get his rights dropped completely (and yes that would include the child support). So this may yet change.

by on Aug. 3, 2012 at 10:04 PM

 NC Yes I have Sole physical/legal custody. It was expensive to get papers  (2 - $1795.00 total) drawn up and signed by judge. The 2 exs (3 kids) agreed so it went straight to court to be signed. They have visitation in my home Tuesday/Thursday 6-9p, every weekend as long as they give me one week notice and I may move any state if I need to but must provide them with address. Luckily they dont exercise visitation and now on their end is parental abandonedment - which I have filed to have names removed from birth certificate and this goes to court. They have no regular visits at all. I tried to force them to be dads and even said I would let them take them on one weekend per month - nothing. Oh well. The kids know they are loved and its not an issue (14 yr-d, 8 yr-s & 4 yr-s). No child support.

Good Luck.

by on Aug. 3, 2012 at 11:41 PM
I'm in ca and because the "father and I weren't married I have full custody unless he takes me to court
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by on Aug. 4, 2012 at 2:03 AM
I have sole legal/primary physical custody. I live in Hawaii, he's in Oklahoma. The custody was done in Alaska though. It cost about 3000 or so. He pays 402 in CS, he's currently 2 months behind. He gets visitation once a year, unsupervised is at my discretion. He rarely calls DD(13).
by on Aug. 4, 2012 at 2:16 AM

I have full custody of both my kids because they don't have their dads in their lives an they didn't sign the birth certificates but I will probably lose full custody of one since my youngest daughter's dad went to court an did a dna test.

by on Aug. 4, 2012 at 2:18 AM
I have sole custody. It took about 4 mo from the date I filed. He didn't fight it. He is ordered to pay cs.
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