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stressed to the max

Posted by on Aug. 11, 2012 at 3:37 AM
  • 234 Replies

I never imagined being a mother at my young age let alone one going through custody issues. my latest stresser in the way my child has been acting. when with her father for a weekend i guess she fell out of her crib, and now will no longer go in a crib, which was completely understandable to me. but ever since that weekend. she freaks out when he comes to pick her up and she hasnt done that in a long time. ive also found out that while shes there she stands at the door calling mommy and waiting for me to come even hours before its time for me to be there. he has two other children both boys and has nothing to do with them anymore. the last time he saw his oldest son was christmas time and when having visitations with him the little boy stopped talking. since the visits have stopped he has started talking again, but its like hes learning to talk all over again. horrific thoughts keep coming to my mind, but i dont believe he would ever do anything hurt her. the whole situation in scaring me and im not sure where to turn. anyone have any advice for me?

by on Aug. 11, 2012 at 3:37 AM
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by on Aug. 11, 2012 at 4:14 AM
26 moms liked this
I wouldn't send her over there...she stands at the door calling for u for hrs? Something is wrong with that... do u have a lawyer? If u do ask him/her what u can and can not do..I personally do not want to tell u something then it messes up your myself though I wouldn't be sending my baby back there but that's just my opinion... how old is your DD?
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by on Aug. 11, 2012 at 4:20 AM
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My lawyer says just keep an eye on her, and take notice when i get her dressed keep track of bruises before she goes and after she comes back. Legally I cant keep her from him because he hasnt broken our order that was put in place two months ago, because he took me back to court after i refused to let him have her with the old order because he moved 4 times in one month. Her father is 22 and my daughter just recently turned 2.

by on Aug. 11, 2012 at 5:35 AM
6 moms liked this
Unfortunately they don't care about our gut instinct as mothers. It's very very hard. You have to follow the order until you can prove he messed up. It'd terrifying knowing your baby isn't happy and you can't fix it. I'm sorry :( I know the feeling I get anxiety just thinking about dd and visitation bc her dad is a liar and manipulator. You may want to consider getting counseling to help you manage. I am, bc there is nothing else legally to do.
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by on Aug. 11, 2012 at 5:48 PM
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 All I can say is I can relate.  I agree with the counselling suggestiong for yourself...youhave to have a way to release this stress so you can stay calm and be able to cope and be there for your little girl.  It was a good outlet for me during the early part of my custody battles.  It's a terrible feeling when you know something is not right and you jsut dont have enough to go on to do anythignabout it. I hate it :(

by on Aug. 12, 2012 at 12:40 AM
Ive been looking into the counseling thing. I'm just afraid to go for it and him use it against me. Saying I'm unfit and such. Its so heartbreaking to see my little girl go through this and feel completely helpless. Its not like I don't want her to know her father, but I don't want her to have to go through this every weekend she has to go. =( it makes me feel like I'm failing as a mom cause I'm not keeping her happy. I know I shouldn't feel like that cause Shea the happiest little girl when she's with me.
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by on Aug. 12, 2012 at 12:58 AM
3 moms liked this
Omg yes, it's obvious your baby is scared of him or what is going on there and is much more safer with you. Do whatever you can to find out what's really going on. It's your baby before anything go with your gut.
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by on Aug. 12, 2012 at 9:07 AM
22 moms liked this

I would talk to the mother of his oldes son and find out if she knows something that was going on and I would also talk to your attorney about the way your daughter is acting. There may be some kind of abuse going on and the attorney can get you supervised visitation with someone from the state. That way he can't say you are trying to keep the child from him. Or the attorney may even be able to get the visitation stopped and him investigated. Since his other child has had this kind of set back.....use that as a pattern.

by on Aug. 12, 2012 at 9:08 AM
45 moms liked this

 Take her to a child therapist and maybe consider getting a child advocate.  The child advocate is there to take the childs side if it come to going to court.  Judges pay alot of attention to what the advocate advises.   If you think your child is in trouble, get help.  But DO NOT throw accusations around.  Just tell everyone that she is acting this way and you dont know why.  If there is going to be mud slinging, let the professionals do it so you dont look like a mom who just is trying to keep your child away from her dad.  JMO.  Good Luck.

by on Aug. 12, 2012 at 9:11 AM
11 moms liked this
Did you ever see the video of the dad that put a tape recorder in his autistic sons bag when he went to school? He suspected that the teachers were mentally abusive, and he was very, very right. As a mom, I would do just that. It's probably invasion of privacy or against the law somehow, but it sounds to me like your daughter is being abused in some way, and you deserve to know the truth.

That may be extreme. Lol. But seriously, your daughters safety needs to come first, and she's obviously traumatized by being there.
by on Aug. 12, 2012 at 9:20 AM
1 mom liked this

 have you asked your ex about it?? what she does while she's not screaming?

have you thought of maybe doing a visitation together??

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