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I never imagined being a mother at my young age let alone one going through custody issues. my latest stresser in the way my child has been acting. when with her father for a weekend i guess she fell out of her crib, and now will no longer go in a crib, which was completely understandable to me. but ever since that weekend. she freaks out when he comes to pick her up and she hasnt done that in a long time. ive also found out that while shes there she stands at the door calling mommy and waiting for me to come even hours before its time for me to be there. he has two other children both boys and has nothing to do with them anymore. the last time he saw his oldest son was christmas time and when having visitations with him the little boy stopped talking. since the visits have stopped he has started talking again, but its like hes learning to talk all over again. horrific thoughts keep coming to my mind, but i dont believe he would ever do anything hurt her. the whole situation in scaring me and im not sure where to turn. anyone have any advice for me?

by on Aug. 11, 2012 at 3:37 AM
Replies (231-234):
hippiecrit
by on Aug. 17, 2012 at 11:45 AM

There are organizations that can do "play therapy" with your daughter. If the therapist sees signs in her play that he is abusing her, then you can get him/her to make recommendations to the court. I would also take photos of every injury, with dates and the explaination he provides.

Most importantly, keep a journal of her behaviors every day. I had an ex lawyer tell me to keep a personal diary, in which I write daily, or close to daily, and include every detail of what you worry about when your daughter comes home. I kept a "fake" diary, in which I wrote everything like my hopes and dreams (and especially my worries) for my kids, my feelings about our divorce, and worries about the consequences for my kids, and even my own mistakes as a Mom, like what I said to my daughter when I should have said... . I've never needed to use it (thank God), but this ex-lawyer friend said that such a diary is not only admissible as evidence, but has a certain power with judges because, at least in his/her mind, this journal is not specifically for evidence, but is rather an accurate reflexion of your own mental state, your parenting, and truthful accounts of incidents as they happen. My friend told me that documentation is the most important thing to protect your children. Whoever has the best documentation wins, and if that documentation was in the form of a personal journal, it would be assumed to be truthful. To be truly convincing, add in a few things that you would NOT want to share, such as a one-night-stand that you had, and all the negative feelings it created for you, making you realize that you won't do such a thing again.

easinpc
by Gold Member on Aug. 17, 2012 at 12:40 PM

I agree with this moms advice. 

Quoting misfitdiva:

 Take her to a child therapist and maybe consider getting a child advocate.  The child advocate is there to take the childs side if it come to going to court.  Judges pay alot of attention to what the advocate advises.   If you think your child is in trouble, get help.  But DO NOT throw accusations around.  Just tell everyone that she is acting this way and you dont know why.  If there is going to be mud slinging, let the professionals do it so you dont look like a mom who just is trying to keep your child away from her dad.  JMO.  Good Luck.


easinpc
by Gold Member on Aug. 17, 2012 at 12:41 PM

group hug

AriannaBadwolf
by on Aug. 25, 2012 at 9:58 AM

Have a chat with child services. Or a doctor at your local children's clinic. Nothing is more important than finding out just what has happened, and what could be happening. It could be regular phases for little lady, but the boys, I've never heard of one just stopping talking... my stepson is nonstop chatter! (Even in his sleep!) And to have to relearn it? Something happened that mentally scarred him in some way or another. Ask a doctor or social services what could cause that, and ask what can be done to see what is happening. Nothing is more important than those kids, not even wounded pride if nothing turns out to be wrong.

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