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16 yo. son loosing life to Alcohol under fathers custody

Posted by on Aug. 19, 2012 at 5:24 PM
  • 11 Replies

Hi everyone,

I hope someone out there can give me some hope or a little ray of sunshine.  I'll try to make it short and sweet.  Approx. 6 years ago I lost custody of my then 10 yo son.  I left my lazy, non working abusive man and moved to las vegas nevada.  I went to court and got custody of both of my children.  I moved to Las Vegas 1/1/04 at that time my son got very depressed, he missed his Dad. I spoke with his dad and relaid on how much he missed him and when was he going to come and visit.  Two weeks later he called stating he was coming (little did I know that he sold my 61' Chevy Belair and forged transfer slip) he had a car and money.  I questioned him about it and said his brother lent him the money (red flag, should have known).  He came visited and left, did this through out the year.  My son was showing behavior problems at school, so his father and I agreed to let my son go with him for the summer, no problems, when the time came for him to return my son he told me to call his Attorney.  How he got an Attorney pro bono gets me.  We have two children together a son and daughter.  He never filed for both children, our daughter has autism.  We had mediation so I had to fly to CA  for that and he never showed, they took my statement but since he never showed they couldn't make a determination.  We had court and I don't know how I lost custody but I did.  He had no job, was homeless, no vehicle and yet this judge granted him custody.  He has never come to visit daughter I always go there to visit son until 3 yrs ago.

I have not been able to get in contact with them. I fought with school to put me on list as a contact and when they did I started getting truancy letters almost every day.  Court order to keep in contact 2 x's a week and I haven't had a number in 3 yrs. I've called police and faxed copy of order. "There is nothing they can do". So I flew to CA in March 2012.  I went to their home at 6:15 am, son no where to be found but found a drug/drunk sleeping on their floor and his father had no idea where he was.  I returned at 11:30 am (school day) and there was my beautiful son, stinking drunk, dirty and when I woke him he almost punched me in the face.  My son confided in me that he drinks everyday, and doesn't go home because he is allowed to do this.  I witnessed them (son/father) physically abuse each other and their house is ghetto philthy.  His father has been saying and doing things about me to my son, example: when he does call (to talk to daughter 1 or 2 times a year) I''m talking to him asking about our son and he starts with "don't yell at me" "stop raising your voice" and this is all my son hears, I'm the bad guy.  Here's the kicker.  This man is on Welfare, HUD (free housing), Medicaid, Foodstamps, free public transportation, and I pay CHILD SUPPORT for our son yet he does not to pay for her because he's on Welfare 8-9 years now.  

CPS, Welfare, HUD, and Police have been called, I have documentation when and how many times i've called and they all treat me as though I am bothersome. They went to investigate and all they did was listen to what he(father) had to say and that he was trying his hardest, no, my son to him is only a check, housing, medical, etc., now because of the calls that I made to Police they finally got annoyed and went to told the father and son to call me once in awhile so I wouldn't keep calling their office.  Now my son has told me to "go die in a lake you F____  C____" and that he doesn't love me or my family.  His father has kept my son away from my family and they only live 45 mins away.  His grandmother is very ill and my son's reaction is f__k her.  My son has left messages on my phone (1:00am and drunk) and no one cares.  I've written, copied mailed to judge, welfare office etc., and yet my concerns are ignored.  My son used be a A-B student. He went to school I believe a total of 21 days last school year.  His father again isn't made responsible or the Education system has failed my son.  I have mailed letters to his father (certified) with recommendations and advice and he denied the letters.  Every web site I come across is only for Fathers Rights.  There has to be something for us mothers who have been F____D by the court system and what can we do.  

I keep telling all these organizations that "I Don't want custody of my son, he is to violent  (expressed that he wouldn't  hesitate if I was granted custody) What I want is for his father to Step up be a man, let our son get the help he needs, from substance abuse to physical abuse and neglect.  My brother (who works for the jails) has stated he would take custody of him, but his father refuses (because of the check, roof, medical, support) to do what is best for his son.   I hope someone can just give me a little ray of hope in how to handle this situation, because I''m at a loss with the whole system

by on Aug. 19, 2012 at 5:24 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Luv.My.Kidz
by on Aug. 19, 2012 at 5:30 PM
Sounds like your son needs reha, your exs needs jail, and the cps and cps gold who didn't listen need fired.

I'm so sort no one listened to you. Keep fighting and make someone listen to you.
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vamom08
by on Aug. 19, 2012 at 5:34 PM
Did you contact a lawyer with the information you have in reference to your son. His father needs to put in Jail because provided alcohol to a minor is a crime at least I thought it was.
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viv212
by Vivian on Aug. 19, 2012 at 5:34 PM
I'm so sorry. I don't have any advice but I do have lots of hugs. I'm also sad he sold your 61, those are beauties. Where in Cali do they live? I am also totally against calling CPS but this is a good reason to.
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mrsary
by Silver Member on Aug. 19, 2012 at 5:34 PM
Bump... good luck!
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Jasuzha
by on Aug. 19, 2012 at 8:04 PM



Quoting vamom08:

Did you contact a lawyer with the information you have in reference to your son. His father needs to put in Jail because provided alcohol to a minor is a crime at least I thought it was.

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MicahBoo07
by on Aug. 19, 2012 at 9:30 PM
1 mom liked this

 A little something u can do is if u have to pay child support u can pay like $15 of it each time and as long as u are paying on it they won't do anything about it but just make sure u have enough to pay the back child support up when they come after it if they ever do maybe then u can get a new court date and provide all the information to the judge just don't sound or look desperate just be firm and strong when talking. Don't reject getting custody of ur son back thats prolly why they don't do anything about it because once in ur care u can send him to ur brother for help or to a rehab place. Don't reject ur son just keep showing any way u can that u love him even if u have to leave voice mails just saying those two words and it will hit him sooner or later and wake him up he has just been brain washed so just keep at it and don't give up.

LifeCafe42
by Nora on Aug. 19, 2012 at 11:37 PM
Good luck I wish I had any ideas your poor son
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prdmama1154
by on Aug. 20, 2012 at 6:54 AM
Take it to the news. Blow this bullshit wide open and keep up the fight.
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sarahmiamaria
by Bronze Member on Aug. 20, 2012 at 11:40 AM
I agree. Get custody and stick him in rehab.
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idalia61
by on Aug. 20, 2012 at 12:45 PM

I have called police and informed them that this is what was happening, and all they say to me is that "his father is doing his best".  I've even told police where they go to drink and they stated that unless a neighbor or someone makes a complaint when they are drinking so they could get them.  To the Sebastopol Police Dept. in CA is a joke.  Apparently not going to school is OK.  Thank you for you concern.  I'm always going to fight for my son.

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