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Going Out

Posted by on Aug. 23, 2012 at 11:07 AM
  • 12 Replies

Okay so I am 23 years old and have a 14 month old I use to be a big time party girl before i had my daughter I even went out when i was pregnant but all that has changed. Ever sense i had my little one everything has changed. Well the thing is i havent been out in over a year and every time i want to go out (which is not often)  my Mom gives me a guilt trip about it so I end up not doing anything and staying home. to me its like okay i have a kid yes but i do need to get out once in a while and its not like i ask her to watch my daughter anyways. She even gives me a guilt trip about going to the movies and leaving my daughter with her babysitter I'm like mom thats the only mommy time i get to myself. I need some advice. Please Help.

by on Aug. 23, 2012 at 11:07 AM
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Replies (1-10):
angie2568
by on Aug. 23, 2012 at 11:51 AM
2 moms liked this

Every mom needs her own time 1-3 times per month, even if its an hour at starbucks-drinking/eating and reading a book or using laptop. Go to a dayspa for 1/2 hr session when they have sales, go to a park with a book or mp3 and jog or take towel and relax. Go shopping or looking alone...

Im 33 single with 3 kids 14 yr-d, 8 yr-s & 4 yr-s. I know what you are going through!

Do not feel guilty ever, unless you are being abusive or neglecting - then I would suggest getting help. I know thats not the situation - point of my saying that - do not EVER care what someone else says or does or especially dont let them have the control to make you feel anything!

Good Luck...

michiganmom5150
by on Aug. 23, 2012 at 12:12 PM
Don't tell her! Everyone needs time to relax! Time for herself! It's very hard to be a good mom if you don't get a break. I work FT and am a mom of 2. It's stressful to take care of everyone and everything. Need time to regroup.
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GLO682
by on Aug. 23, 2012 at 12:14 PM

 you are entitled to go out and have time to just unwind. i think its absolutely necessary for any mom to be able to do that. honestly having that downtime makes me a better mother..

Sidrosmomma
by on Aug. 23, 2012 at 1:41 PM

Same thing with me.  I went OUT TO DINNER with a friend.  We met at like 7.  I was home by 8:30.  My mom threw a fit.  She was watching the baby for me.  But it's not like I was out goofing off or getting pregnant again!

I'm older so I don't feel the need to go out but I was just shocked that it was such a big deal for me to go out to dinner.  I didn't stay out late.  I just went to dinner then came home.  Being a single momma is really tough sometimes.

devynsmommy09
by on Aug. 23, 2012 at 2:14 PM

OMG, my mom does that too!!!  Is there some kind of secret society where they exchange secrets about ways to make us feel like crap?  If I ask my mom to watch my son, she says sure UNTIL she finds out that I am going to do something FUN.  Ugh.  Luckily, I met some other single moms in my area and we exchange childcare on the weekends.  I don't know what I would do without them!

devynsmommy09
by on Aug. 23, 2012 at 2:15 PM

Quoting devynsmommy09:

OMG, my mom does that too!!!  Is there some kind of secret society where they exchange secrets about ways to make us feel like crap?  If I ask my mom to watch my son, she says sure UNTIL she finds out that I am going to do something FUN.  Ugh.  Luckily, I met some other single moms in my area and we exchange childcare on the weekends.  I don't know what I would do without them!


Oh, and I'm 24
yezay
by on Aug. 23, 2012 at 2:18 PM

My parents used to give me crap for going out on the weekend while my son was with his father... you just can't win sometimes.

 VTE survivor!!                                                                                                                                                         If you've had a DVT, PE, VTE, or blood clot of any kind and need support contact me.

lovethelake
by on Aug. 23, 2012 at 2:32 PM

happy mom = happy kids

MamaHens3
by on Aug. 23, 2012 at 6:06 PM

What I've learned in the 2 yrs a single parent, to three kids then four. You can not feel guilty for doing things YOU! If you aren't taken care of body, mind and soul you will not be a good parent for the blessings you love oh so dearly. I used to be guilty doing things, buying things and now I feel ok about it. I need things too, I need to feel good so my kids see momma is happy. 

If you want to go to the movies, do it and tell your mom your going to get out. You aren't doing a thing wrong, a mother isnt a 24/7 thing, if that's the case more cases of mothers harming their children would happen more often. Sadly truthfully, you need a break to get some sanity time. Go to the movies, the store alone shoot something! I have more of a social life, and whatever for me divorced vs with my now x husband! He didn't think hanging out with friends had to happen, I was too busy oh my! YET he had time, made time to get boys time out with him hobbys. I got a new phone this week, and my lip done. I did what I had to get done for the kids, the had to and treated myself. I hrdly do that! My mom also gives me the oh where are the kids, or my case one since i have sole custody of the fourth. The older three I share with my ex husband. I say she's safe, I need time out. Most the time she's sleeping, and I luckily can get someone to hang out back before she's even up. At a year old, she truly doesn't wake up at night, or early AM anymore.

Your allowed to have fun, don't feel bad or try not to. Easier said then done though, after 9 yrs I guess the guilt wore off. An I know without me time, or things for myself I won't be as good as I can be ya know. 

ETA: When I have my three older kids, I spend my time with them and avoid going out truly. Spend it with them, and sharing time sucks seeing as so many days to spend with them. Before they go to their dads, and the youngest is my side kick sure she gets sick of my face lol.

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Aug. 23, 2012 at 6:11 PM

 if you know you arent overdoing it, then just get a sitter and shrug off what your mom says. i am lucky i never got this much. i had a busy social life even though i had TWO kids, and my mom would watch them for me. my family is all pretty supportive.

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