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So my biological dad and I haven't seen or spoken to each other since I was 4 now I'm 22. My fiancé and I decided to ask for money for our wedding and I'm scared cause he said yea he'd try to help. He wants my address but I'm nervous about it cause I don't trust him I feel he might randomly show up at my doorstep. I'm thinking of renting a po box in a large city and just have all my mail forwarded to me in the actual town I live in but will they need my address and will they give it out if someone is asked? What would you do in my situation? Feel free to message me for more details.
by on Aug. 24, 2012 at 10:24 PM
Replies (21-26):
raegan1221
by Raegan on Aug. 25, 2012 at 3:07 PM

 To be honest, I probably never would've asked money for someone I haven't seen in 18 years especially if I was nervous or afraid of him. But that's already done..so I'd go for the PO box...If he wants to help you, then that's very sweet..Maybe just have it mailed there.

raegan1221
by Raegan on Aug. 25, 2012 at 3:10 PM

 Don't let anyone being rude get you down, hon. Honestly..if he owes that much in child support, he might honestly be honored to help pay for the wedding if he's changed and is willing to help you. I hope he is. I'm sorry you were raped, but I bet your child is a blessing. Congrats on the new pregnancy. My SO and I will be paying for our wedding BUT we've both been married and divorced and they paid for that wedding.

Quoting ElyseFowler:

Back the fuxk up off my kids and the way I live my life don't be bashing me cause I have kids before marriage my first son is a fuxking rape baby and my df and I were going to get married this year but found out we were having this baby. F this bs and this site I'm so sick of you judgmental moms if you can't be respectful to other women don't bother posting on their posts it's rude and disrespectful. This man that's my dad owes my mom back child support for the last 18 years and I feel by him helping pay for my wedding it's only fair. I'd like to have a relationship with him but am weary cause I don't trust people very easily.

 

Faith, Hope & Love "I Will Have Faith in YOU, Hope For YOU To Come Home To Me & Love YOU More Every Day".
iHay
by on Aug. 25, 2012 at 3:13 PM
So you are considering inviting him to your wedding? And you do want a relationship with him? Not the way your OP came across at all... Ive honestly never known my dad, i met him once when i was 2. So i can understand not trusting your dad. I could invite him to my wedding and not worry a bit about not hearing from him again because i know i'll be ok without him. Honestly you do seem to have a lot of pent up anger at him. Maybe something you could think about is writing him an email with your feelings and why you're afraid to have him in your life but that you do want him?

Quoting ElyseFowler:

Yes this is my first and will be my only marriage. He told me in previous emails if I needed help with anything to let him know. I will continue to play house as some of you call it because I'm a grown adult and can make my own choices. I'd like to have a relationship with him but am scared cause it's about trusting him. Who's to say he comes to my wedding and then I never hear from him again. In regards to him walking me down the aisle I don't think so. He has no right to that because he didn't assist in raising me I won't deny him a dance but I will deny that. My stepdad raised me so he will be the one to have that honor.
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ElyseFowler
by Member on Aug. 25, 2012 at 3:22 PM
He knows my feeling. I would like to have a relationship with him because I feel it's only right. I'm just stressing cause its like a yr away and baby is die any day.
MeeshMom
by Platinum Member on Aug. 25, 2012 at 6:33 PM
Maybe you should go to lunch with him and be honest. Say you want to take things slow getting to know him since he's been absent so long. This is an emotional thing probably for both of you. He should understand. Take it day by day. If he is aware of your hesitation and trust issues then he might back off a little and take it slow with you. And if he's willing to pay and not attach any strings to it then that's a good thing.

Quoting ElyseFowler:

He knows my feeling. I would like to have a relationship with him because I feel it's only right. I'm just stressing cause its like a yr away and baby is die any day.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
ElyseFowler
by Member on Aug. 25, 2012 at 7:26 PM
How can I go to lunch with him when I live in mn and he in co? Lol probably should've said he lives elsewhere but still lol
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