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My 3 1/2 year old is starting to ask me and my mom questions about when she was a baby and Im so nervous she is going to ask the question that all single moms dread "WHY I DONT HAVE A DADDY? I want to be honest but kid friendly as well its so hard I have played it over in my mind what I would say i just dont want to hurt her .I'm so scared my mom was telling her the story when I found out I was pregnant and I start calling her the jumping bean when she starting really moving and kicking not just flutters I just laid in my bed listening to her laughter it was like music to my ears I have to face it the baby I had 3 years ago is growing up I never thought the questions will come this early.
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by on Aug. 25, 2012 at 10:54 PM
Replies (11-14):
by on Aug. 26, 2012 at 11:28 AM

I've never had that exact question come from my five year old DD as her dad has some visitation. He rarely takes it and she usully ends up with his parents, but still she sees him and knows he loves her. What she has asked is, "Why don't you and Daddy live together?" Which I answered with, "Because Mommy and Daddy decided that we would live apart and have people in our lives like Grant (my bf), but we both love you very much and are here to take care of you even if we are apart." And she hasn't asked about it since. The heartbreaking on was, "Mommy why doesn't Daddy see me when I go to Mamaw and Papa's (his parents)?" I just kind of sat there for a minute before I could answer. I mean, what do you say? I just scooped her up and hugged her and said, "Well baby, Daddy's just having a hard time, but he and I love you so, so, so much! You know that right?" She nodded and asked again, "Well if he loves me why doesn't he want to see me?" All I could say is, "I don't know sweetie, because I don't want to miss a minute of you. I love you." She hasn't mentioned anything since. It just breaks my heart when I think of her little heart hurting. I think it's about trying to reassure her that you love her no matter what and that his decision is his own. At 3 it'll be hard for her to understand, but I think a basic answer and an I love you would be the best. You can have more serious talks over the years. 

by on Aug. 26, 2012 at 9:27 PM
i tell my daughter that she did have a father who helped make her, and were are thankful to him forthat, but that he wasn't really ready to be a father. and then that i knew she would be OK because of all the other people that love her.
by on Aug. 26, 2012 at 9:29 PM
When my son started to ask I told him that he has a daddy but he lives far away and we aren't able to see him. And I told him some daddy's live with their kids and some daddy's aren't able to live with their kids and that is okay. He has mommy and grandma and grandpa and so on...
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by on Aug. 26, 2012 at 9:59 PM

Mine is 8 and has never asked. It hasn't ever upset him or bothered him. His father has never been around so he doesn't know any different. He understands the difference between birth parents and real parents and just made the connection himself.

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