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For moms with child's bd not on Birth Certs. (update)

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 This is for the moms who have no bio dad on their child's birth cert.

You give birth to your child and you say don't want the father in the room during the birthing period and you don't want the bio dad's name on the b/c for whatever the reason is.

This in essence is saying you have sole/legal custody of the child and therefore are taking care of said child on your own.  Why would you want to go to court to legalize it to say this is not the father of the child - when you have already stated that on the b/c - where there is no father?

On the other hand, the father comes back and states he wants a paternity test done - let him take it and he pays for it. IF in fact he is the father then you go to court to have it legalized to say he is going to pay c/s and be a part of the child's life or just pay c/s.  Whatever suits him.  He is in no way getting out of just to visit the child.  This is very detrimental to the child especially for one who has never met the father since birth.  He is going to pay for c/s from the time he finds out he is the father of the child til they are of age.  Over time you would want to let the child have visitation with the bio father so he can get to know him. Once the paternity test has been established then a new birth certificate with his name on it should be encouraged by all parties.  Until then, why do you moms bother even trying to contact or have any contact with the man you deny having any relations with your child if their (b/d) name is not on the birth certificate. 

If you look up on your state's website I am presuming there are laws that state this very thing, mothers are the ones who have the sole legal custody of the child til circumstances change.  Mom's don't go after the father to get the paternity test, if this was the case then  the very thing you should do is to place the father on the birth certificate when the child is born.  It costs more money to have a paternity test and going to court alone, than it is to have the birth certificate  paid once with both parents name on it. 

I do not understand why any mom who has the sole custody of a child to even think about going after bio dad for c/s if he is not on the birth cert from the very beginning of time.  No matter which man it may be.

SEE PAGE TWO REPLY 17 - the reason I care!   Let the man put himself where he wants to be!

by on Sep. 11, 2012 at 6:54 PM
Replies (11-20):
KarmasEvilTwin
by on Sep. 11, 2012 at 10:25 PM
1 mom liked this

The reason someone would establish paternity and go after child support is because a father has the duty to support the child. You are correct in saying that by not being on the birth certificate that the father has no legally recognized paternal rights until an acknowledgment of paternity, either medically or legally, is entered in court. If a formal acknowledgement of paternity affidavit is not signed at birth but the father's name IS on the birth certificate, the father has what are called presumptive rights (meaning he is presumed to be the father) but would still have to medically or legally establish paternity before being able to claim full parental rights. If a father wants to take responsibility and be a part of their child's life and there is no provable reason the law can see that it should be in any way damaging to the child, then they should be allowed to be. Establishing child support in a court of law does give you a de facto custody order as well by acknowledging that you are the primary care taker and the child resides with you and the other parent is the 'absent parent'. Visitation orders will have to be requested and established seperately as that is not considered to be under the jurisdiction of the child support enforcement agency. Your facts are skewed and you need to research your legal information a little bit more extensively.

adulation
by on Sep. 11, 2012 at 10:27 PM
2 moms liked this


Quoting brieri:

 

Quoting adulation:


Quoting brieri:

 

Quoting adulation:

Maybe it's because I'm so tired but I'm not understanding the point of your post.. ?  maybe someone else can break it down for me?

My daughter's dad STILL isn't on the BC but that doesn't give me sole custody, and he does pay child support and have rights to her...  We haven't gone in to add him to the BC because we're both too busy to go to the office and pay the fee.  lol.  but we will do it eventually.



 What was the reason why your child's father is not on the B/C?  IF he's not on the B/C what right does that give him to say the child is his - if there is no proof to the matter.  If there was Paternity test taken, then that changes the rules and that's the reason he is paying c/s and having visits. IF no Paternity test taken, how can he say the child is his if there is no proof to the matter.  If a Paternity test was taken, then you both should be on the b/c - it doesn't matter what the child's last name is - it will benefit the child when either of you die if both parents are on his b/c.

He wasn't there for her birth, so he couldn't be put on the BC.

We had DNA test done and he signed the AOP.

That does not, in the state of texas, mean he is added to the BC.  To be put on the BC we both have to sign an affadaivit, have it notarized, take it to a particular office and pay $50. We haven't done it yet though because it's not really high on our list of priorities.  If anything happens to me my sister will raise my daughter.  Her dad will continue to be a part-time dad.  he has no desire to be a full time father to any of his kids.


Yes, I understand that you have to sign an affidavit and turn it in and pay.  This is exactly what I am saying if you didn't have him put it on the b/c from the beginning, your paying double the money for a second one.  Do you have one on hand for your child now. You will need it possibly for school records or anyplace that asks for proof of birth.   If you don't then maybe it's time to repriortize the issue.   

Why are you so concerned about something you seem to not even really know much aout anyway?  I have a copy of her BC, she is enrolled in public school, and her dad has the right to pick her up from school because I put him on the safe list. I have no problems.  and, to reitterate what I said, her dad wasn't present at the birth, so how could I have put him on the BC?  I don't know what state you are in, but in mine you can not say anyone is the dad without their consent! lol

conniejo75
by Bronze Member on Sep. 11, 2012 at 11:20 PM
My point is since we were not married HE had to be there and sign a paternity affidavit or else his name couldn't have been on it. Our second son was born when we were married so he was presumed either regardless if there or not


Quoting brieri:

 


Quoting conniejo75:

Some states you can't put Dad's name on BC unless DNA is done or father signs an affidavit of paternity. I was the only one that "signed" b.c. but I couldn't add father's name unless he signed the affidavit. We were not married but we were engaged andhe was there during delivery.

 I think all moms sign the b/c.  All you have to do is provide the additonal information of who the father is - it's generally typewritten on the B/C - both parents names on it. 


Mine is like that, my children's b/c's are like that - one of my childrens' b/c was not signed by neither of us but by a birth cert clerk - but both mine and her dad's name appear on the b/c.   (typewritten)


He divorced me, takes the kids away from me and I think he wanted to have h adopt our children - can't do that, without my authorization  if they do it, he's mucho trouble - but so would she be.  She's done things to my child that she had no authorization to do - because she only spoke to the father - the father did not speak to me.   He was to co=parent with me not with HER!.


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brieri
by Platinum Member on Sep. 11, 2012 at 11:35 PM

 thank you for clarifying.  It makes perfectly good sense. 

 

 

 

Quoting conniejo75:

My point is since we were not married HE had to be there and sign a paternity affidavit or else his name couldn't have been on it. Our second son was born when we were married so he was presumed either regardless if there or not


Quoting brieri:

 


Quoting conniejo75:

Some states you can't put Dad's name on BC unless DNA is done or father signs an affidavit of paternity. I was the only one that "signed" b.c. but I couldn't add father's name unless he signed the affidavit. We were not married but we were engaged andhe was there during delivery.

 I think all moms sign the b/c.  All you have to do is provide the additonal information of who the father is - it's generally typewritten on the B/C - both parents names on it. 


Mine is like that, my children's b/c's are like that - one of my childrens' b/c was not signed by neither of us but by a birth cert clerk - but both mine and her dad's name appear on the b/c.   (typewritten)


He divorced me, takes the kids away from me and I think he wanted to have h adopt our children - can't do that, without my authorization  if they do it, he's mucho trouble - but so would she be.  She's done things to my child that she had no authorization to do - because she only spoke to the father - the father did not speak to me.   He was to co=parent with me not with HER!.


 

MeeshMom
by Platinum Member on Sep. 11, 2012 at 11:39 PM
My sons dad is not on the bc and my son has my last name because bd was not there to sign it and he had got married to a crazy bitch a few days before my baby was born. He told me that he didn't contact me because it didn't matter since the baby wasn't born. He told me I had to go through his wife who barged into my hospital room and cursed out my family and came near my hour old baby. That's why. He's here now because he finally chose to be involved. I did what was right at the time. And I'd never apologize for that.
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eviesmom453
by Member on Sep. 11, 2012 at 11:43 PM
I don't get why you care?!?
brieri
by Platinum Member on Sep. 12, 2012 at 12:05 AM

 The main question was: If your not adding the father to the b/c for whatever the reason is - then don't have him on there and don't bother with the courts. You as the mom are the main provider for your child when no father is present or listed on the b/c.  It's simple:

Here's some info from website I found to what I was saying.

 

With out-of-wedlock births, there are instances where the biological father is not present at the birth. Often when this occurs, the mother will give the child her last name and leave the father's name off. Other times, she may list the man she believes to be the father.

 

If the father comes forward voluntarily or is located and forced to take a DNA test, the birth certificate must be amended. In instances where the man believed to be the birth father is listed on the birth certificate, his name may need to be removed as a consequence of DNA testing.

Let the father come to you - this more of an ideal situation. Or can force it, but to me this wouldn't be the ideal situation if your trying to stay away from him - simply let him come to you if he thinks he is the father. Moms make him pay for it all. Don't pay for him for what he did (by staying away for long that's a form of abuse to you and your child.) I know it takes two to tangle, but that's not what I am talking about here - My opinion for the above sentence highlighted in paragraph.

Making modifications to a birth certificate requires a court order from probate court.  (This cost money-enough to give one a migraine) 

Everything must be done through some sort of law.  The courts aren't generally justified for much of anything. So if you can stay away for as long as possible without caring about the father then don't go. There is better use for your money to be spent on then spending time in a court room or with an attorney.  I know what I am talking about, especially spending 6 yrs in the court room under three different judges.  Im not saying yearly basis, - it was like every  3-5 months every year. for 6 yrs.  I didn't want to be there. Since my ex could not co-parent with me, he always took me to court- it proves that he- loves being in the system he's in it for lifetime.



Read more: The Birth Certificate and Fathers' Rights | eHow.com http://www.ehow.com/about_6596694_birth-certificate-fathers_-rights.html#ixzz26DscgAx5

vamom08
by on Sep. 12, 2012 at 5:56 AM
1 mom liked this
I know who my daughter's father is but Im glad his name is not on the birth certificate or he isn't paying child support .He would have rights to see her and he will never see her it would be over my dead body or it will be up to her he had 30 days to see her after she was born and he didn't do it so its his lost if I had my way I would put my mother's name on the damn birth certificate she has been a big help these 3 1/2 years.
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KailesMommy
by on Sep. 12, 2012 at 6:04 AM
My dd's father isn't on the birth certificate. I didn't want him on there and he wanted to be on it. So I made a deal with him, if he comes to the hospital for her birth I would let him on it. I was 3 states away, I was also induced. He knew the date of when I was going in the hospital a month in advance, and he knew where I was having her. He agreed but never showed. He called the hospital phone the day she was born he said that he demends I put him on there and I laughed and said fine but u need to be here in 2 hours to sign and he said he was in MI still so there was no way. Oh well.
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alericksmommy
by on Sep. 12, 2012 at 6:08 AM
2 moms liked this
still you dnt know peoples circumstances so who are you to be rude abt wht mothers choose to do you are entitled to your opinion yes but if you are a single mother and you are not having the same problems as others good for you dnt make wht other people do seem petty and stupid like I said you dnt know every mothers circumstances
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