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weekend stay for a 12 month old ?

Posted by on Sep. 19, 2012 at 12:35 PM
  • 16 Replies

Hi all, i'm new to this group and i just need some opinions.  I have a daughter who will be 1 year old on october 10th.  Her dad and i are not together.  We've never been married but dated for a year and i got pregnant.  There is more to the story but i will explain later :)   Our court papers state that at a year old he is aloud to have her every other weekend.  He has kept her 3 times overnight thus far and they are just recently.  She did well with that.  I do trust her dad with her and he has made a huge effort to be part of her life since she's been born.  He sees her on a regular basis every week.  She is breastfed but she does drink from a bottle when she isn't with me.  I'm just having a really hard time with this.  I feel like 12 months old is too young to be away for a whole weekend?  I don't know if it's because i just don't want her to go or if 12 months really is too young.  

What do you all think ? 

Thanks :)

by on Sep. 19, 2012 at 12:35 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Michellio
by on Sep. 19, 2012 at 12:40 PM
2 moms liked this

I'm sure it's because you just don't want her to go! :)  And, I can't blame you for that!  But, if you really trust the dad, then I think it's something you have to do.  She is certainly not too young to be away from you that long.  Especially since she'll be with another parent.

SWells041585
by on Sep. 19, 2012 at 2:11 PM

Idk Momma, I was always too over-protective to allow anyone to keep DDs overnight at that age. I too was EBF and to tell u the truth, I'm not sure they would make it an entire weekend w/o u. Does the judge know ur LO is a nursling?

faerie75
by Ruby Member on Sep. 19, 2012 at 2:16 PM

 if shes been ok on overnights let him take her. i would tell him to call you if you are needed for any rason and be available to go see her. maybe make plans his first few weekends to pick her up or go visit a few hours the next day.

MicahBoo07
by on Sep. 19, 2012 at 2:54 PM

 I think its because ur mama and don't want her gone that long but thats her dad and he has a right to have her for a weekend length. I'm glad in my state though that my child didn't have to start weekend stays until 3 years old.

 

owl0210
by on Sep. 19, 2012 at 3:02 PM

If he's a good father let her go and enjoy your free time.  

brieri
by Platinum Member on Sep. 19, 2012 at 3:06 PM
2 moms liked this

 Hi and welcome to the group.

I think your letting your emotions get in the way - for 1) you have stated in your OP that he kept 3 times overnight, 2).You state you trust the father as he made a huge diffference to her life.  She'll be fine with him.

Andrewsmom70
by Silver Member on Sep. 19, 2012 at 4:53 PM
My son has been going with his dad since even before a year old. It's great for them to get used to it since it's going to be going back and forth between 2 houses.
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PaperClip811
by Silver Member on Sep. 19, 2012 at 6:55 PM

i think it tough psychologically on little guys to go back and forth like that. Everything I've read says that for the first 2 year or so consistency and familiarity are really important. 

BUT-- you say he sees her a lot, during the week and all, and that is really probably enough for her to feel secure in both places. My ex was shotty and only spend 10 hours with his son in the first year-- no way was I starting overnights immediately! He started a little after his 2nd birthday doing full weekends, and honestly I wish I had waited longer.. but again-- his father wasn't a consistent presence in his life. 

KRIZZ25
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motherhood is not a race..u can't outdo one another..u go go ur own speed.
8 minutes ago
by Platinum Member on Sep. 19, 2012 at 7:10 PM
i feel ya.. but after few times u will feel better about it.
Ashleeduhh
by on Sep. 19, 2012 at 7:11 PM
1 mom liked this
It will be hard at first but it's what's fair. He deserves to have alone time with her too. Enjoy the alone time. Relax, sleep in, work on anything you want, read a good book. It'll be fine!
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