OK I'm new to CafeMom and had a bit of a wake-up call my first week!!
A lot of nastiness, name-calling and people who just want you to reinforce their own opinions rather than genuinely seeking support.
And a lot of intelligent, capable, interesting women here. :)
So here's the question--what does your BD have to do or be, to deserve to be in your child's life?
What are the deal breakers?
There was something on NPR not too long ago that showed that even if a kid's father is a violent criminal, the child benefits from having some contact and interaction with him. Made me think...
I'm a little shocked by some moms who are very proud of excluding the father even if he wants contact, either because things didn't work out between them, because he has a new gf, because he drank, dumped her, etc. (I know I've done some of things from time to time myself). I was kicked out of one group of young single mothers for saying that I lived through him dumping me when I was pregnant and now that she's older, I can really see how hurtful it was in the long run, that her father wasn't part of her life. They didn't want to hear that. The owner wanted to sell her book about how to make the father so discouraged that he finally gives up, how to get more social services rather than file for child support, etc.