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Struggling with my feelings toward him

Posted by on Sep. 23, 2012 at 1:39 AM
  • 14 Replies
Long story short, I'm in love with the father of my child and have been. He claims he has feelings for me still but doesn't want to commit because he's in love with his technically girlfriend and mother to his first child who happens to live in El Salvador. She is apparently on her way back here to be with him and knows nothing about me or our 9 month old son. He's not telling her until she gets here because he wants to explain to her in person and still be with her. I've still been hanging out with him once a week and we are still sexual. Well lately he's been making every excuse to not see me and it just makes me feel like a piece of crap :( I feel like I can't get any other guy. And I don't want any other one. It's messed up that after all that's happened that I still love and want to be with him, I know. I don't know what's wrong with me but I want to get over him once and for all. Any advice?
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by on Sep. 23, 2012 at 1:39 AM
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Replies (1-10):
aries1022
by on Sep. 23, 2012 at 5:02 AM
1 mom liked this
You need to realize that the situation is really not a good one. He sounds as if he trying to keep you around just in case it doesn't work out with the other woman. You need to realize that you are better then that and that there is a man out there that wants you. You and your son deserves better. I know it's hard because of how you feel, but you really need to think about is this the type of relationship you want to have or have your son see you go through.
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wormspoop
by on Sep. 23, 2012 at 5:27 AM

Couldn't have said it better myself.

Quoting aries1022:

You need to realize that the situation is really not a good one. He sounds as if he trying to keep you around just in case it doesn't work out with the other woman. You need to realize that you are better then that and that there is a man out there that wants you. You and your son deserves better. I know it's hard because of how you feel, but you really need to think about is this the type of relationship you want to have or have your son see you go through.


Andrewsmom70
by Silver Member on Sep. 23, 2012 at 8:51 AM
Stop having sex with him. Let him spend time with your child without you there or at least go to another room or something.

You don't want to be the woman he picks by default.

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Mommyto2LilMen
by Tina on Sep. 23, 2012 at 9:17 AM
This right here. Hugs!!!

Quoting aries1022:

You need to realize that the situation is really not a good one. He sounds as if he trying to keep you around just in case it doesn't work out with the other woman. You need to realize that you are better then that and that there is a man out there that wants you. You and your son deserves better. I know it's hard because of how you feel, but you really need to think about is this the type of relationship you want to have or have your son see you go through.
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MommyBri7
by on Sep. 23, 2012 at 9:36 AM
Thanks ladies! I'm not going to text or call him anymore. And I'm only replying to him if it's about our son.
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LifeCafe42
by Nora on Sep. 23, 2012 at 11:10 AM
Agreed! There are other fishies

Quoting aries1022:

You need to realize that the situation is really not a good one. He sounds as if he trying to keep you around just in case it doesn't work out with the other woman. You need to realize that you are better then that and that there is a man out there that wants you. You and your son deserves better. I know it's hard because of how you feel, but you really need to think about is this the type of relationship you want to have or have your son see you go through.
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gloryprincesa
by on Sep. 23, 2012 at 1:32 PM
1 mom liked this

You said you feel like you can't get any other guy, and dont want any other guy....Im trying to understand why you feel like you NEED him or another guy to complete you...What about just investing all of your time into your son and yourself.....Do things YOU love to do , make memories with your son and strive to become a better you. If and when the right guy comes along, it wont be because his g/f was in el salvador. IT will because a guy seems something beautiful in you , not just  plan B if plan A fails.

strongerwtime
by on Sep. 24, 2012 at 8:20 PM
1 mom liked this

wow...he is playing the both of you.  She has no idea she is about to come here to a man who has  pretty much has a family but doesnt seem to want you two either...stop having sex with him...if he doesnt do right by your child you really dont have a lot of choices, you may need to tak ethis guy to court.

MommyBri7
by on Sep. 25, 2012 at 11:19 AM
I can't take him to court because he's illegal here. Although they did tell me I could still apply for child support even though I prob wouldn't get anything from him since it's under the table.
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mamalena137
by Bronze Member on Sep. 25, 2012 at 11:51 AM

This just all sounds like a bad situation. Obviously he doesn't really love either of you. If he was willing to be with you and say he's in love with someone else. Definitely cut off any contact, unless it has to do with your child. This guy doesn't know what love is. Someone in love doesn't go around having sex with someone while they're in love with someone else. Love is selfless not selfish. There are better guys out there. You'll find one, they always happen when you're not looking.

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