step parents boundaries

[ashleysuee]

My sons fathers wife has been in his life since he was about 7mths old. And now that he is 3 he knows who everyone is. She has taught him to call her mommy and i find that extremely disrespectful. I could understand if the mother was not in the picture however i am, and much more than her (80/20 custody). I have told her before not to have him call her that and she no she would never, but yet he does and she doesnt correct him. How do i address this situation or do i wait til he gets older since he will then know i am his mother and she is his step parent IF she is still in the picture.

[steviechick]

I wouldn't allow my DH's kids to call me mom unless their own mother died.  I have respect for moms and I wouldn't want to cross that boundry.  It seems to me that this step-mom is definately crossing boundries here.  I would talk to your ex about this.  Your child seems to think that he has two mommies just because his father has remarried.  My mom and dad divorced when I was 7 and my dad remarried when I was 9.  I have never called her mom nor did she ask me or my other siblings to call her mom.  She was Jackie and our dad's wife. 

[gurlygurl81]

My stepdaughter (whose father and I are now divorced) started calling me mom when we got married. She was 7. We were together for 2 years before we were married. When we told her we were getting married she said " so can I call you mom now". She still at 16 calls me mom. When we were all together she called her mother mom. I think it was a comfortability thing for her when we were in social situations. I took care if her as if she were my own and she felt I was her mom. Her mother did try for a while to make her feel guilty for calling me that, but after a while realized it was more important for her to feel comfortable

[iHay]

I can understand why youre upset but i think turning it into anything will just upset your son. Even if she is spiteful there is no reason for you to stoop to her level. Mom is just a word that your son may not even understand yet. Start teaching him about families and blended families without making it just about "dont call her mom".