I let my kid beat me up lastnight... **EDIT** a little explanation for replies
Recently my mom and sister dropped the ball and stopped helping look after dd while i worked,when completely needed of course. I dnt expect them to raise dd just need care for her after preschool.So i found a new sitter, who is a co-workers wife. Lastnight was dds first few hrs with the new sitter and I guess dd was ok until it got later (i work until 10pm right now). She refused to socialize, and sat under their dinner table, while nodding off to sleep. :( she told the sitter i wasn't coming back for her tht breaks my heart because im the only steady person in her life.
Anyway.. Picking her up at sitters was rough. She screamed and cried. Got her home and she cried some more. I sat dd on the counter to get her shoes off and she started crying hard... Yelling and trying to hit me. She was half asleep so she was more patting my chest, but i got the message. And i let her do it. the look in her face killed me. I thought about restraining her but i just hugged her tight instead. I started crying too. I feel like i deserve to get beat up for all the chaos in her life right now. She has been very pissy alot lately. Stubborn. Some of it is her being sick atm.. But i fear alot of it her struggling with all thts going on. Have u ladies ever had ur kids act out because of things tht really aren't in your control? What can i do for dd to help her through this?!
Seems like a little explanation is needed, i see very similar responses. We dnt live in choas, or a non structured environment. Never have, except a few very rough patches. I have mostly raised her alone. I alone made her life clean and scheduled and it works so well. She always knows whats happening and when- i need tht myself and i know little people need it even more so tht all came naturally. She has a set bedtime, basically set meal times, bath time etc. She has always been making choices.. Like which shoes she will wear, what movie she would like to watch etc. She is super independant as i am and one of my promises to myself in raising children was just that "if it wont hurt anyone, she can choose". Those trivial things are no big deal for me beacuse i WANT her to be in control of what little she can handle. Also, she really is an awesome child. Yes, i sound biased.. Lol but she is. She is so grateful. She thanks me for reading to her. She thanked me today for doing her homework with her :) she is courteous, caring, kind... Bossy but i cn deal with tht lol really just a delightful girl so i do know, for a fact, this was an absolute breaking point. I was raised very controlled so i know better than to let it become a habit but i also know better than to force her to keep straight when she just shldnt have to. But i DO agree tht hitting isnt acceptable. Something just happened.... In tht moment tht my reaction was a big hug. Its part my raising, part present issues and part future goals i have with her. I want a close, open, upfront existance with her and i feel like this was a huge point in getting there. I appreciate all of your replies, advice, and kind words. Makes me very proud to be part of this group. I teared up seeing i had over 70 new replies tonight. Thank you all so much!