I don't even know where to begin with this situation. I guess I'll start in the middle and work the other info in or something.
Next Saturday my ex, his "fiance" (alleged) and their daughter, along with me and my son are going to go to the park to allow the kids to play together. I am feeling ok about this (I think) because I know that I won't be completely alone with him for one and for two, I am going to a place I am familiar with so if anything jumps off I can just leave.
Backstory: Um my ds is 7 and his half-sister is 2. My son didn't get to fully "meet" my ex until he was 4 because of all the trouble ex was causing. Got pregnant at 15, had my son at 16. After breaking up with bd he became someone insane. Stalking, harassing phone calls, looking in windows, etc. 5 restraining orders and 2 assualt charges later he disappeared from my life completely.
At one point there was a judge who told me I was nieve for trying to salvage any type of relationship between bd and I as well as he told me to never allow him to have contact with myself or my son because he is just that unstable and unpredictable. That was 4-5 years ago and since there was never anything in writing I don't know what to do.
I can't possibly say 5 years a judge told me not to allow my son around him so I don't, can I? If I file for custody, what happens if he gets joint? I mean I know what happens but that would devastate me. I've never been without my son. My ex doesn't have the temper to deal with kids, he told me so himself.
Nowadays he sees my son every now and then and that's usually if we (my son and I) happen to be in a public place (McDonald's, Barbershop, etc.). I have taken my son out to play with him a couple of times but only to public places.
In public places (like the time we went to McDonald's and the movies) he can still act stupid and not want to spend time with his son like he says. At the movies he ended up breaking (cracked the screen) my cell phone because I wouldn't get off of FB and CM and according to him I was ruining "our family time" and got mad when I said that it wasn't.
I don't want my son to grow up hating me. I don't want him to be like 13 or 14 and know that he hates me because he never knew his father so I'm trying to slowly integrate his father into his life but I know in my heart this will only lead to heartache for my son.
You know how in the movies where the dad always promises the kid to go out and even on here the same situation occurs and the dad never comes and the kid is left heartbroken and disappointed?? It would kill me to see my son hurt like that.
I would never allow my son to go out alone with. His "fiance" says that she doesn't allow him to take their 2 year old out by himself and he's been there since she was born. I don't know what to do. I don't know whether I'm setting myself up for failure or what.
I want my son to learn how to be a man from a man but if the only man around is a no good one then what? I mean to learn from my ex would be to learn that its ok to blame your faults on others, to depend on women to take care of you, to hit women, etc. I don't know what to do.