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Curious.

Posted by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 9:18 PM
  • 23 Replies
Do you believe that becoming a mother means you have to sacrafice yourself? Do you feel guilty if you leave your child to do something just for you? Do you even do anything child free for yourself? Do you feel guilty if you spend money on your own wants?
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by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 9:18 PM
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Replies (1-10):
heathermarie23
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 9:22 PM
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Quoting PaperClip811:

Do you believe that becoming a mother means you have to sacrafice yourself? Becoming a mother means that you have a little person who depends solely on you to take care of and love.
Do you feel guilty if you leave your child to do something just for you? Yes, even going to work and leaving them at daycare makes me feel guilty.
Do you even do anything child free for yourself? Take a shower... only child free sometimes.
Do you feel guilty if you spend money on your own wants? Yes.


Mocking.Jay
by ★Krista★ on Oct. 3, 2012 at 9:25 PM

I was not born to be a martyr. I am a mother. 

That being said, hell yeah, a lil self indulgence is MUCH needed once in a while! I usually shop when my classes are over and I have from 12-5 pm. I will leave class and head straight to the mall to buy whatever I need or I will do my grocery shopping then KID free!

Gina_C
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 9:26 PM
Well, I don't think I am sacrificing anything. I chose to be a mom. I don't feel guilty because I don't leave him except to go to work. And that is a necessity. To me, family time is more important than me time
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michiganmom5150
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 9:31 PM
I spend 90% of my time outside of work with my kids. In 2 years I have left them with a sitter(my mom) twice that was not for work. They go to their Dad's every other weekend, so that's my time. I don't feel I sacrifice anything, I enjoy my kids. I do feel that everyone needs so 'me' time. It's important to your mental health. I just choose to do it when they are gone. I never have extra $ for myself, so that's not a question.
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cutestmom24
by Member on Oct. 3, 2012 at 9:35 PM
I rarely do anything without my dd.I have no one I can trust with her.
Yes I think that when you become a mother you sacacrafice yourself.
Yes i feel guilty when I buy myself something.I usually end up getting my dd something too.even if its a small toy or a movie.
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PaperClip811
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 9:38 PM
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I guess I just don't see becoming a mother as choosing to be 'just a mom'. I still like movies and concerts and swearing (lol). I place a lot of value on family time, but I consider my family my child's family... If grandpa wants an afternoon with him then I'll take advantage and meet a girlfriend to chit chat and not have to be interupted 17 times in a 1/2 hr.

But.. Different strokes for different folks :) I don't think less of you for not wanting a life outside of your family, I just don't think the concept of 'me time' is something moms should be ashamed of...


Quoting Gina_C:

Well, I don't think I am sacrificing anything. I chose to be a mom. I don't feel guilty because I don't leave him except to go to work. And that is a necessity. To me, family time is more important than me time
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PaperClip811
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 9:41 PM
This is how I handled it once my kiddo started going to his dads..

Quoting michiganmom5150:

I spend 90% of my time outside of work with my kids. In 2 years I have left them with a sitter(my mom) twice that was not for work. They go to their Dad's every other weekend, so that's my time. I don't feel I sacrifice anything, I enjoy my kids. I do feel that everyone needs so 'me' time. It's important to your mental health. I just choose to do it when they are gone. I never have extra $ for myself, so that's not a question.
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Mommyto2LilMen
by Tina on Oct. 3, 2012 at 9:46 PM

I feel guilty leaving my kids whether it be at daycare so I can work or even with my parents so I can go on a date with BF.  I feel guilty when I spend money on myself too. 

quickbooksworm
by Bronze Member on Oct. 3, 2012 at 9:47 PM
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I think there is a balance between making sacrifices and sacrificing myself as a person. I would feel guilty blowing money on myself if my child's needs weren't met. But if he has what he needs and I want a new book, I don't feel guilty about buying one. When money was tighter and we both needed new shoes, I did buy myself some first. All I had were sandals and my office didn't have heat. My sons shoes were a little small but at least his feet were covered and another week wasn't going to hurt him.
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PaperClip811
by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 9:57 PM
Absolutely.. I like the way you worded that with the balancing. Obviously I gave some stuff up as a Mom.. Stuff that didn't even feel like 'giving it up' just was life.. But there are things I gave up and things that I decided I didn't have to give up.
My sons needs have always and will always come before my wants. Definitely. But yea.. I was in the airport the other day and wanted a book, my son wanted a toy.. I got the book he got nothing. I don't feel bad at all.


Quoting quickbooksworm:

I think there is a balance between making sacrifices and sacrificing myself as a person. I would feel guilty blowing money on myself if my child's needs weren't met. But if he has what he needs and I want a new book, I don't feel guilty about buying one. When money was tighter and we both needed new shoes, I did buy myself some first. All I had were sandals and my office didn't have heat. My sons shoes were a little small but at least his feet were covered and another week wasn't going to hurt him.
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