Im a new member to this site and have, and have since I found out I was pregnant, some conflicted feelings about recognizing my newest addition, my daughter, as a part of the family and loving her the way a parent should and taking care of her above and beyond the basic amt. of care required. Dont get me wrong, I feel TERRIBLE saying this and totally understand its not right and I dont always have these feelings towards her but at times I do and I cant help the fact that these feelings come up at times. A liltle history, I have two amazing sons by my ex-husband who is still in the picture and we share joint custody of them but during my divorce I was dating a great guy, so I thought, with 2 kids of his own who he raised on his own for roughly 10yrs. During our 4 months of dating my birth control had been recalled for 5 months of which I didnt get the letter from pharmacy until 2 months after I found out I was prego. He seemed happy, promised to stay around but had hard time finding work and kept returning to Texas for 2-4 months at a time to save money. I didnt really want a long-term relationship with this man as good as he seemed,l I was in middle of divorce for heavens sake. Needless to say, after going to Texas the last time he told me he wasn't coming back cuz he is NOT a citizen and is working illegally , was not there for his only daughters, that I know of, birth. Was sending money for a little bit but since she was born he kinda fell off the map. Now I feel like Im 'stuck' with this child. I seriously considered adoption to my ex-sister-in-law who I am still very close to and could continue to see her as she grew, but then knowing this is my only girl I selfioshly wanted to keep but as I said, now and then I get these 'trapped', 'unfair' feelings and I feel like the smallest piece of sh*t ever.... Some advice please..