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"I hate my dad!" Wwyd?

Posted by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 2:42 PM
  • 9 Replies
Would you make your kid visit his father if he said this? My son said he hates his dad.

Bd visits every Saturday. He doesn't have custody and we don't have a co at all. For those who don't know the story, bd has only been involved in my sons life for four months now. My son is 5 years old. Bd has pinched my son a few times when he's misbehaved and he will pin my son in uncomfortable ways when he is acting out. My method is to put my son on time out and let him come out when his attitude changes. My son has been acting out a lot with bd now in the picture. I'm considering switching visits to every other weekend. Wwyd?
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by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 2:42 PM
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Replies (1-9):
Mommyto2LilMen
by Tina on Oct. 5, 2012 at 3:22 PM
My kids tell me that all the time. I have dropped them off kicking and screaming on several occasions. But the judges don't care. It's so frustrating. If they had the choice, or me they wouldn't go.
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mz23
by Bronze Member on Oct. 5, 2012 at 3:40 PM

Pinching? What the heck. If you guys get along can you all do something together so that the father gets some time with his son but you can keep him (your bd) in check. Or maybe try one day out of the weekend and see how your son feels, and If he's still rude I wouldnt allow him to be with my child esp one on one.

Robsessed98
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 7:46 PM
Did bd not listen when you talked to him about the pinching before?? Id probably let the weekly visits continue unless something else happens since they are sttill getting to know each other. Its still a big adjustment time for ds. If he continues to say he hates him or bd continues to act inappropriately, then Id rethink the visits.
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MeeshMom
by Platinum Member on Oct. 5, 2012 at 8:57 PM
I don't think so. He doesn't get it. I told him lets move to every other weekend and give my son time to cool down. And he can visit on the week nights next week. I need a break from bd. I'd like full weekends with my son sometimes too anyway.

Quoting Robsessed98:

Did bd not listen when you talked to him about the pinching before?? Id probably let the weekly visits continue unless something else happens since they are sttill getting to know each other. Its still a big adjustment time for ds. If he continues to say he hates him or bd continues to act inappropriately, then Id rethink the visits.
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mrene88
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 9:25 PM
I'd switch to EOW more than likely that's what a court would do.
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tyfry7496
by on Oct. 5, 2012 at 10:37 PM
1 mom liked this
Seeing you have no CO, I'd have him visit with you there until he stops pinching your son and your son gets comfortable with him. I'd get a CO and be sure to get it in the order that he takes parenting classes to learn that pinching a child is not ok.
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Shy_Dia
by Silver Member on Oct. 6, 2012 at 9:24 AM
1 mom liked this

i agree with this.

obviously, BD isnt in a position, IMO, to care for a child. he's not in a position to discipline a child.

So I'd have BD come along with whatever we have planned for Saturday, or bring a book if we plan on staying in that day.... and let them interact while you supervise. That way, if/when your son acts up, you are right there to basically SHOW BD how to discipline.... and when BD is comfortable enough to discipline himself, then you can watch over it until you feel comfortable that he's doing the proper methods...

plus- if you stay at home, your son has the ability to walk away from his dad and go into his own room if he wants.


i might not cut out the weekly visit-- but cut the hrs down to only 3 hrs on saturday.

Quoting tyfry7496:

Seeing you have no CO, I'd have him visit with you there until he stops pinching your son and your son gets comfortable with him. I'd get a CO and be sure to get it in the order that he takes parenting classes to learn that pinching a child is not ok.


LifeCafe42
by Nora on Oct. 6, 2012 at 9:26 AM


Quoting tyfry7496:

Seeing you have no CO, I'd have him visit with you there until he stops pinching your son and your son gets comfortable with him. I'd get a CO and be sure to get it in the order that he takes parenting classes to learn that pinching a child is not ok.
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justpeachy1
by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 11:11 AM

I agree have those visits with you around. I would observe what else BD does that you don't know about. Also kids need to adjust to the new routine to having you there with BD will help. Remember this is going to effect everything in your childs life. School, behaviors. This is an adjustment for him and he will be acting out cuz it is something different in his life. If there is soon to be a CO in place you need to make sure you have your ducks lined up. I may not be a bad idea to viedo a few of the visits. Cover your back sister. Pinching? That is going to leave bruises. People are going to question you. CYA

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