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Please don't get me wrong I love my daughter more than the world but I sit here at home watching Disney channel I think how would my life be different if I waited to have sex. Would I be in a 4 year college? Would I have more friends? Would I get to be a normal teenager? What would have been my relationship with my daughters dad? I don't know why I am thinking this because I love my daughter more then anything, I would rather have her then be out. Maybe it's because I am having a challenging time with all that's been going on. I don't like living back at home and getting no space and my daughter is still having a challenging time with being away from her father.

Wow I didn't think my post would be so popular.Please don't get me wrong I love my little girl with all my heart and the thoughts I have aren't going to change how much I love her. Another thing my daughter is 4 so I have been a mom for a while however I am new to the single mommy life.
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by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 7:59 PM
Replies (201-210):
supercarp
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 9:23 AM

You can have a wonderful life, but you have already missed a lot by having to grow up so early. When you're young you never realize that there will always be men; they are not be all, end all wonderfulness of your life. Even women who have "good" marriages stress about whether he'll be 1. faithful 2. sober 3. employed 4. a good companion 5. etc.    When you go on to other relationships, because nearly everyone does, remember that once you start a sexual relationship, the man will stop trying to get to know you. He doesn't need to know anymore because he's gotten what he wants.

angiepangie727
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 10:18 AM
1 mom liked this

I hope, before reading the comments, that people aren't bashing you for admitting your feelings.  It's very hard to be a young mother.  My cousin had her son at the age of 15.  She is 36 today, just bought a new house, and is doing really well, though it's been a very bumpy road.  I went the other way.... I got pregnant at the age of 15 and had an abortion.  I wasn't strong, like you or my cousin, enough to attempt to be a real mother that young...honestly, I had never had one so didn't know how to be one....

It's perfectly normal to wonder how different your life would be if you hadn't had a child so young.  It's even harder when you start with support from the father and then lose that.  While you will never really know just how different it could have been (no Ghosts of Christmas Past around here, huh?) you will also never know if it could have been worse.  Chances are your daughter has given you strength to deal with hurdles life will throw at you.  You have an amazing child that you can teach to be a wonderful person.  You have a purpose.  Maybe your life isn't what you envisioned for yourself, but believe me, being a "normal teenager" isn't all it's cracked up to be.  Peer pressure, drinking, drugs...blech. Believe me, I lived that part.  Don't let anybody tell you it isn't okay to wonder.  Of course it is.  Just be sure you aren't idealizing it.  Think of how things would be worse without her, how they could have been worse, just as much as you think about the things that could have been better without her.  None of that means you don't love your daughter or that you aren't a great mom, it just m eans you're HUMAN. 

Good luck.  And please, don't let people get you down.  Most who want to make you feel miserable have never had the struggles you have had, they don't know how hard it is, and never will.  They are miserable in their own way and want to bring you down with them. 

Sparkles591
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 11:04 AM

Your daughter is here now and you chose to raise her instead of giving her up for adoption.   So be the person you need to be for her.   Learn from what you have done.   Don't have sex until marriage.  You can get your education online. Marry someone that loves you and your daughter and is a good man.   

There are still alot of great options in your future, make good choices and have a happy life with your wonderful daughter.

erinmomofone
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 11:08 AM
1 mom liked this
I am doing everything for my daughter.


Quoting Sparkles591:

Your daughter is here now and you chose to raise her instead of giving her up for adoption.   So be the person you need to be for her.   Learn from what you have done.   Don't have sex until marriage.  You can get your education online. Marry someone that loves you and your daughter and is a good man.   

There are still alot of great options in your future, make good choices and have a happy life with your wonderful daughter.


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erinmomofone
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 11:09 AM
Thank you there has not been to many people that bash me.,..I am use to it anyway so it's nothing new.


Quoting angiepangie727:

I hope, before reading the comments, that people aren't bashing you for admitting your feelings.  It's very hard to be a young mother.  My cousin had her son at the age of 15.  She is 36 today, just bought a new house, and is doing really well, though it's been a very bumpy road.  I went the other way.... I got pregnant at the age of 15 and had an abortion.  I wasn't strong, like you or my cousin, enough to attempt to be a real mother that young...honestly, I had never had one so didn't know how to be one....


It's perfectly normal to wonder how different your life would be if you hadn't had a child so young.  It's even harder when you start with support from the father and then lose that.  While you will never really know just how different it could have been (no Ghosts of Christmas Past around here, huh?) you will also never know if it could have been worse.  Chances are your daughter has given you strength to deal with hurdles life will throw at you.  You have an amazing child that you can teach to be a wonderful person.  You have a purpose.  Maybe your life isn't what you envisioned for yourself, but believe me, being a "normal teenager" isn't all it's cracked up to be.  Peer pressure, drinking, drugs...blech. Believe me, I lived that part.  Don't let anybody tell you it isn't okay to wonder.  Of course it is.  Just be sure you aren't idealizing it.  Think of how things would be worse without her, how they could have been worse, just as much as you think about the things that could have been better without her.  None of that means you don't love your daughter or that you aren't a great mom, it just m eans you're HUMAN. 


Good luck.  And please, don't let people get you down.  Most who want to make you feel miserable have never had the struggles you have had, they don't know how hard it is, and never will.  They are miserable in their own way and want to bring you down with them. 


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LuvmyBoyzMandG
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 12:04 PM

The What if's don't change anything.  You can only look toward your future and your childs.  You can still do everything that you would have it will just be a little bit harder.  However it will be worth it because your child will also benefit from your hard work.

mamamary912
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 12:13 PM

don't worry idon't think its wrong or that you don't love your daughter i got pregnant when i was 16 now i am 28 and have 4 kids and i make my self the same questions and i htink that if i had waited to get pregnant i would have a career and a good job and my kids would have had a better life to i love my kids but it is hard to be 16 and care for baby i know its hard but you get use to being a mom specialy when you see them smiling at you that is the best reward you can get from being a mom.

VeeLeigh
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 12:13 PM
I was 22 when i had my daughter. Partying had lost its "thrill" by then ans i wasnt much of a partier anyway. But im now 26, working a crappy job, in school full time, my husband works full time and is now thinking of going to school. Had i waited, i might have finished school earlier, might have kept a couple of friendships i miss dearly, might not have even stayed with my husband(fiance at the time). There are too many times to count when i wished i couldve(shouldve) done it all "right", but then i look at my daughter and even though its been hard, i cant imagine life without her. Her smile and happiness when i come home makes everything better. I love my husband. Hes a good man, we just both are stubborn and we clash.

Life sucks most of the time. Its hard and unfair. You have to find the joy and things worth fighting for. Everyone has the "what if" thoughts. Just dont dwell on them.
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sugarsmom2
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 12:15 PM

of course you love your little girl. no one can tell how different your life would have been if you had waited . I am of the opinion that what is supposed to happen does . we are put into many situations that we have a choice . take this road and this happens take the other and that comes around . you can still go to school . it will be harder .

abouttobeamom
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 12:41 PM
You aren't alone in your thoughts. I pray for only the best for you and your daughter an whtever obsacles are presented to you. :-) you know you are a good person, the world is lucky to have someone like you in it, don't forget that.
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