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Please don't get me wrong I love my daughter more than the world but I sit here at home watching Disney channel I think how would my life be different if I waited to have sex. Would I be in a 4 year college? Would I have more friends? Would I get to be a normal teenager? What would have been my relationship with my daughters dad? I don't know why I am thinking this because I love my daughter more then anything, I would rather have her then be out. Maybe it's because I am having a challenging time with all that's been going on. I don't like living back at home and getting no space and my daughter is still having a challenging time with being away from her father.

Wow I didn't think my post would be so popular.Please don't get me wrong I love my little girl with all my heart and the thoughts I have aren't going to change how much I love her. Another thing my daughter is 4 so I have been a mom for a while however I am new to the single mommy life.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 7:59 PM
Replies (211-220):
PaperClip811
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 1:44 PM

If I think about the what if's I am SO thankful for having my kiddo. The circumstances were pretty shitty and irresponsible, thus making me a single mom-- but I got it together quick when I found out there would be a little life depending on me!

I think it's natural though, to wonder :o)

steviechick
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 2:07 PM

I've had several people tell when I was engaged to NOT marry my ex.  I did end up marrying him even after I saw several red flags at the time.  I was convinced I could 'change' him or 'adjust and work through' HIS many problems.  Because in reality everything that related to the many problems of our marraige was due to HIS problems.  FF and we ended up divorcing after 26 years of marriage.  He ended up cheating on me, fathered two kids out of wedlock, became a total loser financially, dragged me through the gutter, betrayed my trust in him forever and ended up having me actually hate him after I once fell in love with him. 

If I didn't marry my ex my daughter wouldn't be here.  Life just isn't simple or easy for all of us.  BUT, we make our own choices in life.  I chose to marry my ex and I chose to stay with him even though I was miserable.  He chose to take the low road in life, thus making my life complete hell.  Would I redo my life all over again?  I've asked that several times.  Then I look at my beautiful, smart, and very sweet daughter and I realize that she was probably worth every single miserable part of my marriage to my ex.........

k4m7d93
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 2:28 PM

 I always wonder what it would be like if I had waited to have sex with my boyfriend who I'm with now, but then I always remember that my life probably wouldn't be how it has turned out to be. I'm almost 28 weeks pregnant with my little boy and I wouldn't want it any other way, I'll be in school next fall.. And honestly, my life has finally gotten better.

aLBa87
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 3:06 PM
Im 24 with a 2 1/2 year old and have been a single mom this whole time. I always have those moments. I think about the path i was on and what would be different. But as much as I think about it I know I wouldnt change where I am now and the path my life has gone. All I can say to you it is you can make the life you have into the one you want to have. It just takes more work then it would for others. Keep your head up, and im sure youre doing a wonderful job with your daughter. :)
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diamonds_3
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 3:08 PM

I was 21 when i had my first and wanted it didnt think that it would be a lot of work cause me and my boyfriend took care of my baby sis alot so i wanted one then i realised it was a lot of work then 10 1/2 months later i had another i ended up  going way down hill after me and my high school sweet heart broke up and made some bad choices and their dad is a loser i ask myself all the time why cant he just go away and stay away its not likes he helps me out at all anyways and i find myself saying  what if i hadnt had a babys with this loser then i think about not having my babies and i just couldnt do it even if they do drive me crazy 75% of the time

mz23
by Bronze Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 3:49 PM
I wish I had waited until,I finished college and had my nursing degree. I wish I would have waited to have sex with the exception of the time I got pregnant with my dd. I love her so much . I was 19 when I got pregnant and 20 when I had her. It's really stressful and hard trying to get my life together but she gives me a push that I wouldn't have had before her. I think we all have wham ifs. I do feel people should wait till there married to have sex though this doesn't guarantee anything, but it is amazing God still,managed to bless us with our children. They truly are a gift from God.
julesbouge
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 5:02 PM

Hang in there.  Life is messy, but the rewards are great.  As my mother still tells me to this day when I call her upset, "This too shall pass."

tee3663
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 7:55 PM

 I think all of has had amoment where we think of the what if questions and that they are normal for all moms! I love my boys more than anything and in no way regret them but there have been times I have been like what if.......obviously you have been doing great so far,your daughter is 4 and Im sure happy and healthy.

 

Warren2
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 10:12 PM

My life would have been different if my biological family was not dysfunctional and I had the opportunity to get an education EARLY in life as oppose to later. I would have gone to law school and at this point in my life, I would  be retiring from the bench after a long and distinguish career in law. I am a retired educator and every time I see a woman attorney, I feel a bit of envy. I love my children, don't get me wrong but I would have had them later, much later in life, thus I could have ENJOYED them more and had more to give them. (I did manage to send them both to private schools.) Of course, I would have been mature enough have a child/children with a better man too. In all fairness, I must say also: If I had the choice of NEVER HAVING CHILDREN or having them early, I would have chosen to have them early as oppose to not having children at all. I know a woman that got 3 abortions while she was young. Now she is almost 64, she has no children, grandchildren but she has a bank of money because she is a miser. I do not envy her in any shape, form, or fashion.

Rebecca661
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 10:47 AM

I waited to have sex and waited a while after getting married to start trying to have a baby. I was 27 then I am 40 now and after 3 miscarriage. I would give anything to go back and have sex and be a young mom. I know you love your daughter with all your heart and wouldn't change anything. Those what if's are hard. It is hard now with your life changing and your struggles will always be challening but maybe later  you can go to college. Enjoy your daughter and make your life the best it can be now.

Quoting erinmomofone:

Please don't get me wrong I love my daughter more than the world but I sit here at home watching Disney channel I think how would my life be different if I waited to have sex. Would I be in a 4 year college? Would I have more friends? Would I get to be a normal teenager? What would have been my relationship with my daughters dad? I don't know why I am thinking this because I love my daughter more then anything, I would rather have her then be out. Maybe it's because I am having a challenging time with all that's been going on. I don't like living back at home and getting no space and my daughter is still having a challenging time with being away from her father.

Wow I didn't think my post would be so popular.Please don't get me wrong I love my little girl with all my heart and the thoughts I have aren't going to change how much I love her. Another thing my daughter is 4 so I have been a mom for a while however I am new to the single mommy life.


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