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Please don't get me wrong I love my daughter more than the world but I sit here at home watching Disney channel I think how would my life be different if I waited to have sex. Would I be in a 4 year college? Would I have more friends? Would I get to be a normal teenager? What would have been my relationship with my daughters dad? I don't know why I am thinking this because I love my daughter more then anything, I would rather have her then be out. Maybe it's because I am having a challenging time with all that's been going on. I don't like living back at home and getting no space and my daughter is still having a challenging time with being away from her father.

Wow I didn't think my post would be so popular.Please don't get me wrong I love my little girl with all my heart and the thoughts I have aren't going to change how much I love her. Another thing my daughter is 4 so I have been a mom for a while however I am new to the single mommy life.
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by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 7:59 PM
Replies (221-230):
erinmomofone
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 10:55 AM
I am sorry to hear that! I try my hardest.


Quoting Rebecca661:

I waited to have sex and waited a while after getting married to start trying to have a baby. I was 27 then I am 40 now and after 3 miscarriage. I would give anything to go back and have sex and be a young mom. I know you love your daughter with all your heart and wouldn't change anything. Those what if's are hard. It is hard now with your life changing and your struggles will always be challening but maybe later  you can go to college. Enjoy your daughter and make your life the best it can be now.


Quoting erinmomofone:

Please don't get me wrong I love my daughter more than the world but I sit here at home watching Disney channel I think how would my life be different if I waited to have sex. Would I be in a 4 year college? Would I have more friends? Would I get to be a normal teenager? What would have been my relationship with my daughters dad? I don't know why I am thinking this because I love my daughter more then anything, I would rather have her then be out. Maybe it's because I am having a challenging time with all that's been going on. I don't like living back at home and getting no space and my daughter is still having a challenging time with being away from her father.

Wow I didn't think my post would be so popular.Please don't get me wrong I love my little girl with all my heart and the thoughts I have aren't going to change how much I love her. Another thing my daughter is 4 so I have been a mom for a while however I am new to the single mommy life.



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SinceresMomma
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 10:58 AM
I love your daughter's name


Quoting erinmomofone:

I was really young when I had Kyleigh. I love hanging out with my daughter but I still have those what if thoughts.




Quoting Kaya529:

I would still be in party mode but I was 32 when I had Aiden and got to live it up first. I would much rather hang out with him now.


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erinmomofone
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 10:59 AM
Thank you!


Quoting SinceresMomma:

I love your daughter's name




Quoting erinmomofone:

I was really young when I had Kyleigh. I love hanging out with my daughter but I still have those what if thoughts.






Quoting Kaya529:

I would still be in party mode but I was 32 when I had Aiden and got to live it up first. I would much rather hang out with him now.



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Redwall
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 7:34 PM

I don't think the problem is that you wish you'd gone to school or anything else...You might want to have a chat with your ob-gyn. I'm 55 and don't have tons of interest in sex....but I do for my husband.  It makes him really happy.  And I'm good with that.

erinmomofone
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 7:36 PM
Your confusing me....are you talking about my sex interest...I don't have one right now....I am just a tad bite confused ..

Quoting Redwall:

I don't think the problem is that you wish you'd gone to school or anything else...You might want to have a chat with your ob-gyn. I'm 55 and don't have tons of interest in sex....but I do for my husband.  It makes him really happy.  And I'm good with that.



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MsLogansMommy
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 9:44 PM

well said and im teary eyed too :)

sad you had to go through what you did but your daughter is certainly lucky to have you what a great message

Quoting steviechick:

I've had several people tell when I was engaged to NOT marry my ex.  I did end up marrying him even after I saw several red flags at the time.  I was convinced I could 'change' him or 'adjust and work through' HIS many problems.  Because in reality everything that related to the many problems of our marraige was due to HIS problems.  FF and we ended up divorcing after 26 years of marriage.  He ended up cheating on me, fathered two kids out of wedlock, became a total loser financially, dragged me through the gutter, betrayed my trust in him forever and ended up having me actually hate him after I once fell in love with him. 

If I didn't marry my ex my daughter wouldn't be here.  Life just isn't simple or easy for all of us.  BUT, we make our own choices in life.  I chose to marry my ex and I chose to stay with him even though I was miserable.  He chose to take the low road in life, thus making my life complete hell.  Would I redo my life all over again?  I've asked that several times.  Then I look at my beautiful, smart, and very sweet daughter and I realize that she was probably worth every single miserable part of my marriage to my ex.........


Litzy
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 10:14 PM

OMG!, that's exactly what I was thinking last week... I think I was a little fed up with having to watch Disney channel every day so I told my daughter to give me a break from Disney channel at least one day a week lol.

Anyway, too much tv is not good for kids so I have found different activities for her to do to get her mind off the Disney channel (and what is up with that "My babysitter is a vampire" show, I think it sends a bad message to parents). Anyway I have given up several good jobs to try to spend more time with my daughter. She is the most important person in my life and I make sure that my decisions are the best for her.

However I do understand how you feel, do not feel guilty about it. Most moms feel that way at some point. Please remember that you are already amazing because you are a loving mom. Love is the one thing we can give to our kids that they will always remember and the only thing worth living for. Just do your best and God will provide for you and your little one. Whenever I feel a little blue I love to listen to Dr. Wayne Dyer, he is very spiritual and teaches people how to live a life of meaning rather than ambition. 

I don't know what your beliefs are but if you want to check it out just google Dr. Wayne Dyer - The Shift.

(If not, that is your decision and it's ok too)


:) Good luck!

erinmomofone
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 10:19 PM
We don't watch to much tv maybe a show a night and that's after everything is done so like 15 min. We have never watched that show. Mostly "good luck Charlie" and "shake it up". I'll have to look it up one day soon.


Quoting Litzy:

OMG!, that's exactly what I was thinking last week... I think I was a little fed up with having to watch Disney channel every day so I told my daughter to give me a break from Disney channel at least one day a week lol.

Anyway, too much tv is not good for kids so I have found different activities for her to do to get her mind off the Disney channel (and what is up with that "My babysitter is a vampire" show, I think it sends a bad message to parents). Anyway I have given up several good jobs to try to spend more time with my daughter. She is the most important person in my life and I make sure that my decisions are the best for her.

However I do understand how you feel, do not feel guilty about it. Most moms feel that way at some point. Please remember that you are already amazing because you are a loving mom. Love is the one thing we can give to our kids that they will always remember and the only thing worth living for. Just do your best and God will provide for you and your little one. Whenever I feel a little blue I love to listen to Dr. Wayne Dyer, he is very spiritual and teaches people how to live a life of meaning rather than ambition. 

I don't know what your beliefs are but if you want to check it out just google Dr. Wayne Dyer - The Shift.

(If not, that is your decision and it's ok too)


:) Good luck!


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MrsMae
by on Oct. 11, 2012 at 5:04 AM
I agree we all have the what if moments. I think all the time that if we had allowed God to order our steps, we'd be in a different place now. He made us and had our life mapped out, but we took another route so here we are!
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Mia1983
by Mia on Oct. 11, 2012 at 6:33 PM
Sorry to get off , but why do you say early childhood is useless? Just curious because i know a few people going for it.

Quoting illinoismommy83:

You can still go to school. I'm 29, a mom of 2, and I go to the University of Illinois. That isn't just a 4 year school, that is a GOOD school. 

Let your baby get a little older and on a more stable schedule. Take advantage of the doors that have opened for you. Start your school career online, but at a state school. Go to community college online. (Don't get scammed into a university of online only overpriced crap) 

It doesn't matter what your highschool GPA was. Get a 3.0 in community college and you can transfer to some state college, even if its not a top college, and finish your degree. Most everywhere offers the useless early childhood education degree so its quite likely you will find on-campus childcare even at smaller schools.

Your baby OPENED doors for you. Yes, you can't have the "so drunk I don't know how I got this degree" experience, but you can attend college (online, nights, weekends) while working and make a great life for you and baby.

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