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Please don't get me wrong I love my daughter more than the world but I sit here at home watching Disney channel I think how would my life be different if I waited to have sex. Would I be in a 4 year college? Would I have more friends? Would I get to be a normal teenager? What would have been my relationship with my daughters dad? I don't know why I am thinking this because I love my daughter more then anything, I would rather have her then be out. Maybe it's because I am having a challenging time with all that's been going on. I don't like living back at home and getting no space and my daughter is still having a challenging time with being away from her father.

Wow I didn't think my post would be so popular.Please don't get me wrong I love my little girl with all my heart and the thoughts I have aren't going to change how much I love her. Another thing my daughter is 4 so I have been a mom for a while however I am new to the single mommy life.
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by on Oct. 6, 2012 at 7:59 PM
Replies (41-50):
potgieter
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 8:16 AM

I think about that same thing ALL the time!!!


erinmomofone
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 8:17 AM
Glad I am not the only one starting tI feel that I am.


Quoting potgieter:

I think about that same thing ALL the time!!!



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Byrd15
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 8:27 AM

I know exactly where I would be... Still living at home at 20 years, my overbearing mother breathing down my neck telling me what to do when to do it, she would have probably broken DH and I up eventually. (Mind you she is better now and she and DH are super close) I would be going to the college I HATE instead of the one DH was going to, with no car and my mom driving me. I'd be miserable. 

Joseph was a savings grace in our lives, he brought us closer together, saved us from a downward spiral of depression and got us out into the world on our own. If I could go back the only thing I would change is finding out I was pregnant earlier so we could have gotten married sooner and maybe had a real wedding. But we're having a nice vow renewal later on so its all good!

I just know in my heart and mind getting pregnant at 18 worked out for the best and God knew what He was doing with our life.  

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samurai_chica
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 8:27 AM

I know...i had "what if's" moments too...although mine were different. I think about how crappy my life would be if i had not had her...i was badly addicted to drugs & going down a terrible path. Having my DD saved my life. My terrible friends dropped me, i moved out of state away from bad influences, and i started getting  my life together

I know you would never trade her, but that way of thinking is not helpful to your situation.

Quoting erinmomofone:

I know an my daughter is my life just because I have the what if momements doesn't mean that I would trade it.


Quoting samurai_chica:

OP, I will tell you one thing that is very important and very true & always remember it

Having a child is the most rewarding thing you can ever accomplish in life. You can do all kinds of cool shit, but when you die...it will be your children & family on your mind that will make you feel as if you had a wonderful, fulfilling life. It will be the life you created that will make you feel the happiest & fuzziest. It is the rearing of children that brings us more rewards than anything else in life ever could. You will never feel so proud, so loved & so accomplished. Having children gives life more meaning than anything else ever can. Always remember that.

"What ifs" are a negative way to think. Think forward, not backward.



la_bella_vita
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 8:33 AM

 I have what if moments about life in general. I love my kids and wouldn't change a thing but I still have what if moments. What if I had done this instead....where would I be if I never met my husband....etc, etc

erinmomofone
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 8:34 AM
I don't think about it all the time just some times......I have been going through so much in the last few months......years.


Quoting samurai_chica:

I know...i had "what if's" moments too...although mine were different. I think about how crappy my life would be if i had not had her...i was badly addicted to drugs & going down a terrible path. Having my DD saved my life. My terrible friends dropped me, i moved out of state away from bad influences, and i started getting  my life together

I know you would never trade her, but that way of thinking is not helpful to your situation.

Quoting erinmomofone:

I know an my daughter is my life just because I have the what if momements doesn't mean that I would trade it.





Quoting samurai_chica:

OP, I will tell you one thing that is very important and very true & always remember it

Having a child is the most rewarding thing you can ever accomplish in life. You can do all kinds of cool shit, but when you die...it will be your children & family on your mind that will make you feel as if you had a wonderful, fulfilling life. It will be the life you created that will make you feel the happiest & fuzziest. It is the rearing of children that brings us more rewards than anything else in life ever could. You will never feel so proud, so loved & so accomplished. Having children gives life more meaning than anything else ever can. Always remember that.

"What ifs" are a negative way to think. Think forward, not backward.





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TXCatLady
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 8:38 AM

I had my son at 38 and he is such a blessing but can be challenging at times. He is 4 years old and has symptoms of Aspergers and is receiving treatment. I know that if I had him young it would have been harder but I might have had more energy and not so focused on work a times. It is a balancing act working, caring for him and taking care of the house. Fortunately my husband helps but just not as much as I would like :)

erinmomofone
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 8:43 AM
I was 14 had some help from my daughter's father for a few years but now I am starting over.

Quoting TXCatLady:

I had my son at 38 and he is such a blessing but can be challenging at times. He is 4 years old and has symptoms of Aspergers and is receiving treatment. I know that if I had him young it would have been harder but I might have had more energy and not so focused on work a times. It is a balancing act working, caring for him and taking care of the house. Fortunately my husband helps but just not as much as I would like :)



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SpiritedDragon
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 8:44 AM
1 mom liked this

Every mom has the what if's when it comes to life.  I know I have them.  I was in my early 20's when I had my oldest son, then I married the wrong man shortly after.  I wonder what my life would have been like if I would have never married my ex husband.  But then I wouldn't have gotten my youngest either.  Which I would have missed out on.  Then again I wasted 11yrs of my life on a man that didn't love me.  Leaving him led me to my best friend who I am marriage next month!  Go figure, life works out the way it is suppose to, and it will only get better.  We just have to make it through the huddles we are given.  

mommynmarch2010
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 8:51 AM
1 mom liked this

we all have "what if" moments, but that's when you have to stop, look around, and truly count your blessings. life will work out, make a plan and stick to it, you will do great! praying for you! hugs

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