I've been a single mom to my triplets since they were 4-months old. The kids and I lived at my parents house until they were about 3 years old, but it's been just the 4 of us ever since.
I've decided to go back to school part time on-line for a degree in Social Work. I'm currently taking a class in Early Chidhood Development and another in Early Child Psychology. Both classes have got me questioning the effect of not having a devoted, and engaged father in their lives. He sees them a couple hours, one at a time on Saturdays, but that's the extent of it. He doesn't offer to help with homework, ask about their activities, attend their sport or dancing events. He's a present body in the room, but not much thoughtful disucussion. It's pretty much video games or time spent with older sibling (angry pre-pubescent teen).
I try to put myself in their shoes and imagine my life without my father, and it's very sad. My father was always a constant in my life and cared about my activities, my schooling and my well being. He is also a great Grandpa to my children. Thankfully he only lives a few streets down and very involved with my kid's. We see both he and my mom a couple times a week. I hope that my dad (Grandpa) has been able to fill part of the void left by their father. The kids have asked in the past why Daddy doesn't invite us to do things more, and they have recently started declining their visits to have play dates with friends, or just hang out with Mom :-).
If any of you have grown up in homes with one parent, can you help me understand what they may be feeling, and what I can do to help them. It's been almost 12 years. Should I start putting myself out there on dating sites? I don't have a burning desire to be with anyone, because my life is so busy right now with workign full time, raising the kids and taking classes. Although, it would be nice to have a companion before I'm old and haggard! Would this be a benefit to my kids lives, or would it create a difficult dynamic? I'm just concerned about their happiness and positive development. My textbooks are stressing the importance of a positive role model. I feel my father hellps, but he is starting to slow down a bit after a bout with cancer. He is recovering, but that whole ordeal really made me stop and think about how lost the kids and I would be without him.
Any thoughts/advice would be appreciated.