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He thinks he's entitled

Posted by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 5:46 PM
  • 12 Replies
For the past year my daughters dad has been on my case......about her last name. He thinks she should have his last name and has told me I will give him my permission to change it........and that it matters because "NOBODY'S GONNA MARRY HER CAUSE I'LL KILL THEM." Before I had her 2.5 years ago I told him she would be carrying my last name.......i named her without his help picked out her god parents w/o his help ect.

He's been bugging since last year about changing her last name my response is always no it's easier if everything stays as is she's carried my last name for this long i'm keeping it that way.

He laid off until the other night and started it again when he came to see her. Mind you he claimed his wife of one year had a miscarriage and was about 3 mos along(she's putting this shit in his head because she wants babygirl).

He's going to push my buttons too hard, and I will be filing for full custody on top of letting her know how her husband really is(i've saved text messages from him and have audio on my phone of a conversation we had).

I'm tired of him bugging about her last name my last name isn't perfect but it's mine.

I have strangers that come up to me asking if he sees her ect (these are people he knows not me).

I feel really uncomfortable when they do it, but I don't want to be rude.

She's just as much my child as she is his and he cannot force me to do anything I don't want to do.

He's gotten his way everyday since court, when I bring up modification to include what I want he gets pissed at me idk what to do. I want to go in front of the judge and ask him to include what I want in the co because it's all one sided(what he wants not me).

He's going to cause me to be a bitch and take him back to court which i'm trying not to.
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by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 5:46 PM
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Replies (1-10):
happymommy1105
by Gold Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 5:50 PM
3 moms liked this
Take him to court have everything done through the judge and move on.

Stop with the unneeded drama
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whitneymf
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 5:53 PM

you dont have to change her last name if you dont want to.

my son will have my last name. they way i look at it is that they think if they have their last name they have more ownership over the child, which is dumb becasue each parent has the same unless the court says otherwise. just tell him its not going to change its aready said and done.

mommy_2_be_2010
by Silver Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 6:00 PM
I don't want to change it and i've told him no several times he says it's because his older kids have his last name (bs they have their mothers last name).


I tell him no and he raises his voice to me in front of babygirl, we have not been together since she was almost 7 mos and he gave me an std among other things.

I'm waiting for the right time to make my move and he will have nowhere to go when I do.


Quoting whitneymf:

you dont have to change her last name if you dont want to.

my son will have my last name. they way i look at it is that they think if they have their last name they have more ownership over the child, which is dumb becasue each parent has the same unless the court says otherwise. just tell him its not going to change its aready said and done.


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whitneymf
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 6:04 PM

yeah i would just try to ignore him. he cant go to the court and change it right?

i dont think he can unless you were there and said he can too idk. just show him that it doesnt bother you and he might stop

Quoting mommy_2_be_2010:

I don't want to change it and i've told him no several times he says it's because his older kids have his last name (bs they have their mothers last name).


I tell him no and he raises his voice to me in front of babygirl, we have not been together since she was almost 7 mos and he gave me an std among other things.

I'm waiting for the right time to make my move and he will have nowhere to go when I do.


Quoting whitneymf:

you dont have to change her last name if you dont want to.

my son will have my last name. they way i look at it is that they think if they have their last name they have more ownership over the child, which is dumb becasue each parent has the same unless the court says otherwise. just tell him its not going to change its aready said and done.



tyfry7496
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 7:02 PM
This but a judge CAN order her name changed.

Quoting happymommy1105:

Take him to court have everything done through the judge and move on.



Stop with the unneeded drama
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deltathree
by Gold Member on Oct. 7, 2012 at 8:27 PM


Quoting happymommy1105:

Take him to court have everything done through the judge and move on.

Stop with the unneeded drama


tennisgal
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 12:50 AM

Agreed. My sister was ordered to change her son's name b/c "a boy deserves his father's name" as stated by Judge A-hole who just went through a terrible messy divorce in small town, usa. 

Quoting tyfry7496:

This but a judge CAN order her name changed.

Quoting happymommy1105:

Take him to court have everything done through the judge and move on.



Stop with the unneeded drama


Robsessed98
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 1:07 AM
If yall werent married, together through the pregnancy and birth and hes not on the bc, it was totally your decision on what name to give her. However, if yall are getting court ordered custody and child support, he could file a motion asking that the name be changed and theres a decent chance the judge will order it. Theres no way to know what a judge will do. If hes active in the babys life, IMO she should have his name. After all, she is as much his as she is yours, but thats just me. Stand firm if youre so against it and dont change it unless a judge says so.
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XSummersXmommyX
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 10:19 AM

My daughter has my last name also, im not married to her dad...and even if we were i would have kept my last name (both my parents are dead so it means a lot to me to pass on my fathers last name)...i KNOW it irks his parents, and i kinda love that..lol....shes more a "smith" (my last name)....then she is a "----" (his last name but im not gonna write it). 

  You need to stand you'r ground, and do what YOU need to do. When you'r daughter gets old enough to decide for herself, let her...if she wants to change her last name to her biological fathers, then that will be HER choice but as of now, she has your last name and thats that. NO COURT can mandate a person to change their last name because a parent would prefer the child to be labeled with their name. UNLESS its a legal need, but even that its a tricky thing, MANDATING a name change.

   If you dont mind me asking, whats the custody situation now? I have FULL CUSTODY of my daughter, and i dont feel bad about it at all (but my circumstances seem MUCH DIFFERENT then yours).

   look, i know NO ONE wants to go to court, but do what YOU need to do for your daughter...and if it takes going to court then so be it, right? 

mommy_2_be_2010
by Silver Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 10:23 AM
He has jc if her last name gets changed then all legal documents including her bc have to be changed she's starting school next fall and I don't want her confused about which last name to use. We agreed to no court, i'd be willing to give her both of our last names but he wants it changed point blank if he hadn't harassed me while pregnant I would've given her both but since he went to neighbors and my dad plus other family members I made the decision to give her my last name.

Quoting XSummersXmommyX:

My daughter has my last name also, im not married to her dad...and even if we were i would have kept my last name (both my parents are dead so it means a lot to me to pass on my fathers last name)...i KNOW it irks his parents, and i kinda love that..lol....shes more a "smith" (my last name)....then she is a "----" (his last name but im not gonna write it). 

  You need to stand you'r ground, and do what YOU need to do. When you'r daughter gets old enough to decide for herself, let her...if she wants to change her last name to her biological fathers, then that will be HER choice but as of now, she has your last name and thats that. NO COURT can mandate a person to change their last name because a parent would prefer the child to be labeled with their name. UNLESS its a legal need, but even that its a tricky thing, MANDATING a name change.

   If you dont mind me asking, whats the custody situation now? I have FULL CUSTODY of my daughter, and i dont feel bad about it at all (but my circumstances seem MUCH DIFFERENT then yours).

   look, i know NO ONE wants to go to court, but do what YOU need to do for your daughter...and if it takes going to court then so be it, right? 



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