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For the past year my daughters dad has been on my case......about her last name. He thinks she should have his last name and has told me I will give him my permission to change it........and that it matters because "NOBODY'S GONNA MARRY HER CAUSE I'LL KILL THEM." Before I had her 2.5 years ago I told him she would be carrying my last name.......i named her without his help picked out her god parents w/o his help ect.

He's been bugging since last year about changing her last name my response is always no it's easier if everything stays as is she's carried my last name for this long i'm keeping it that way.

He laid off until the other night and started it again when he came to see her. Mind you he claimed his wife of one year had a miscarriage and was about 3 mos along(she's putting this shit in his head because she wants babygirl).

He's going to push my buttons too hard, and I will be filing for full custody on top of letting her know how her husband really is(i've saved text messages from him and have audio on my phone of a conversation we had).

I'm tired of him bugging about her last name my last name isn't perfect but it's mine.

I have strangers that come up to me asking if he sees her ect (these are people he knows not me).

I feel really uncomfortable when they do it, but I don't want to be rude.

She's just as much my child as she is his and he cannot force me to do anything I don't want to do.

He's gotten his way everyday since court, when I bring up modification to include what I want he gets pissed at me idk what to do. I want to go in front of the judge and ask him to include what I want in the co because it's all one sided(what he wants not me).

He's going to cause me to be a bitch and take him back to court which i'm trying not to.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Oct. 7, 2012 at 5:46 PM
Replies (11-12):
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 10:37 AM

 My daughter had my last name at birth... however, when we went to court the judge ordered her last name to be changed to his. However, HE had to go to change it. He had to have proof of the court order saying so as well. He can pester you about it all he wants, but unless court ordered, there is nothing he can do to have it changed.

Just be prepared that if you do go back to court and he pushed that, there is a very good chance the Judge would order it changed.

Honestly its not the end of the world. I'll admit I had the same reason's as you, but you know what I also got married, and MY last name ended up changing itself. At that point her last name wouldn't have matched any of ours. Also when she turns 18 SHE can change it to whatever she wants, AS WELL AS when she gets married she may take her husbands last name herself.

To put it into perspective... it's just a last name. She has the first name you picked out and that's great.

The last name battle is miniscule compared to other battles you could be dealing with.

I hope this didn't come of harsh in anyway, its just that I have already been through it, and it'd be in your best interest to save yourself the stress.


by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 10:50 AM

 A Judge can and most likely WILL mandate a last name change. If he's not on the birth certificate, they will order him to go have his name put on the certificate, and then he will have to be the one to change the last name. He can't do this UNLESS the court order's it, BUT the chance's of a court ordering the daughters last name to be changed to his is actually very likely. Male or Female doesn't matter.

It happened to me. I was not with my daughters dad when she was born, as a matter of fact he broke up with me at 18 weeks pregnant. When she was born I did NOT put him on her birth certificate, and she was given MY last name.

We went to court when she was 5 months old... the judge order her last name to be changed to his. BUT he had to do all of the leg work. He also HAD to provide the documented court order to do so. I had to change her social security card name though.

I posted before I read your reply though. SO I just repeated it. Sorry.

Quoting mommy_2_be_2010:

He has jc

Quoting XSummersXmommyX:

My daughter has my last name also, im not married to her dad...and even if we were i would have kept my last name (both my parents are dead so it means a lot to me to pass on my fathers last name)...i KNOW it irks his parents, and i kinda love more a "smith" (my last name)....then she is a "----" (his last name but im not gonna write it). 

  You need to stand you'r ground, and do what YOU need to do. When you'r daughter gets old enough to decide for herself, let her...if she wants to change her last name to her biological fathers, then that will be HER choice but as of now, she has your last name and thats that. NO COURT can mandate a person to change their last name because a parent would prefer the child to be labeled with their name. UNLESS its a legal need, but even that its a tricky thing, MANDATING a name change.

   If you dont mind me asking, whats the custody situation now? I have FULL CUSTODY of my daughter, and i dont feel bad about it at all (but my circumstances seem MUCH DIFFERENT then yours).

   look, i know NO ONE wants to go to court, but do what YOU need to do for your daughter...and if it takes going to court then so be it, right? 


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