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ds and bd meeting for the first time....

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So, I am staying with my grandmother for a couple of weeks until things at home get situated. Unfortunately, ds's dad lives in the same area as my grandmother. I have been here for a few days, and ds's dad has been trying to see him.

The problem is, I don't have my car down here, and ds's dad doesn't want to have to meet my family. Quite frankly, I'd prefer he didn't either. My plan was to meet up with bd tomorrow, have him come pick me and DS up and just spend the day with him. That'll give DS a chance to meet and feel comfortable with him. My grandmother thinks it is rude, and unsafe for DS and I to just up and leave with him since she doesn't know him. She wants me to force bd to come in and say hi. Bd wants me to just pack the both of us up and go with him. Tbh, I just want both of them to leave me and DS alone.

My question....wwyd?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 1:52 AM
Replies (21-24):
graciefreesoul
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 8:43 PM

i don't blame u...nae is half grown and i STILL wont let him even if he got a wild hair up his butt and asked...i trust her with the other BM's more than i do him...she'd prolly kick his butt anyway lol

Quoting Delila12:

He's 9 months. And I definitely wouldn't allow him to take DS.

Quoting graciefreesoul:

ahhh i understand the getting on your nerves part...i haven't personally talked to the donor in close to 10 years (daughter is 13) but i do remember i cant stand talking to him long...ANYway, if in the unfortunate event i was stuck in your shoes i'd meet someplace public somehow...taxi or public transportation would be my choice...i can't even imagine what it'd be like if i had to do that at this point and yes with my daughter being 13, i'd be right there with her... how old is your son?


Delila12
by Bronze Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 8:54 PM
Lol. I'm sure ill feel the same way when DS gets that age.

Quoting graciefreesoul:

i don't blame u...nae is half grown and i STILL wont let him even if he got a wild hair up his butt and asked...i trust her with the other BM's more than i do him...she'd prolly kick his butt anyway lol


Quoting Delila12:

He's 9 months. And I definitely wouldn't allow him to take DS.


Quoting graciefreesoul:


ahhh i understand the getting on your nerves part...i haven't personally talked to the donor in close to 10 years (daughter is 13) but i do remember i cant stand talking to him long...ANYway, if in the unfortunate event i was stuck in your shoes i'd meet someplace public somehow...taxi or public transportation would be my choice...i can't even imagine what it'd be like if i had to do that at this point and yes with my daughter being 13, i'd be right there with her... how old is your son?



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
cw619
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 9:52 PM

I think he should come in and meet your grandmother. Even if you two are not together and never getting back together, that is his son's family to and he should have the concern to know who his son spends his time with. But my BD was always the same way I had to take the baby to him and be around his family (which of course I didn't want to do) but I did it for my son, but honestly it wasn't in his best interest to have one parent bend over backwards to try for them to have a relationship while the other did nothing, so I stopped and I haven't heard from BD for 5 months (my son is 15 months). My advise if this is the first time he has ever met his son he should be willing to bend over backwards and have to meet whoever he needs to be in order to be able to. If he's going to make it seem that things just need to be on his terms or nothing, then its really not about your son at all, the BD is making it about himself.

Delila12
by Bronze Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 1:33 AM
1 mom liked this
You're right. It took him screwing plans up for a third time for me to finally say "screw it." Everything you said is a summary of what I told him over the phone. Of course it wasn't as nice, and of course he argued with me, but I've come to grips. If he's going to be selfish, its best he isn't around. My son comes first, not him. And I honestly felt much better after telling him that.

Quoting cw619:

I think he should come in and meet your grandmother. Even if you two are not together and never getting back together, that is his son's family to and he should have the concern to know who his son spends his time with. But my BD was always the same way I had to take the baby to him and be around his family (which of course I didn't want to do) but I did it for my son, but honestly it wasn't in his best interest to have one parent bend over backwards to try for them to have a relationship while the other did nothing, so I stopped and I haven't heard from BD for 5 months (my son is 15 months). My advise if this is the first time he has ever met his son he should be willing to bend over backwards and have to meet whoever he needs to be in order to be able to. If he's going to make it seem that things just need to be on his terms or nothing, then its really not about your son at all, the BD is making it about himself.

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