Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Single Moms Single Moms

ds and bd meeting for the first time....

Posted by   + Show Post
So, I am staying with my grandmother for a couple of weeks until things at home get situated. Unfortunately, ds's dad lives in the same area as my grandmother. I have been here for a few days, and ds's dad has been trying to see him.

The problem is, I don't have my car down here, and ds's dad doesn't want to have to meet my family. Quite frankly, I'd prefer he didn't either. My plan was to meet up with bd tomorrow, have him come pick me and DS up and just spend the day with him. That'll give DS a chance to meet and feel comfortable with him. My grandmother thinks it is rude, and unsafe for DS and I to just up and leave with him since she doesn't know him. She wants me to force bd to come in and say hi. Bd wants me to just pack the both of us up and go with him. Tbh, I just want both of them to leave me and DS alone.

My question....wwyd?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 1:52 AM
Replies (11-20):
easinpc
by Gold Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 10:40 AM

If it were me I would either meet him somewhere that I could walk to or just have him pick us up and leave.  Unless there are safety reasons why she doesn't want you to go with him (like abuse in the past, etc) and its not just her being nosey and difficult (and you are of legal age to make your own decisions), I would just have him pick us up and go from there.

Delila12
by Bronze Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 10:46 AM
No. He wasn't abusive. She never knew anything about him, except that I got pregnant by him. But she keeps saying that she has to know whose picking me and DS up because she said she doesn't want somebody knowing where she stays and her not knowing them.

Quoting easinpc:

If it were me I would either meet him somewhere that I could walk to or just have him pick us up and leave.  Unless there are safety reasons why she doesn't want you to go with him (like abuse in the past, etc) and its not just her being nosey and difficult (and you are of legal age to make your own decisions), I would just have him pick us up and go from there.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
easinpc
by Gold Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 11:11 AM

Lol so walk to the end of the block and have him pick you up there.  That way he has no clue which house is hers and then she can't use that as a reason.

Quoting Delila12:

No. He wasn't abusive. She never knew anything about him, except that I got pregnant by him. But she keeps saying that she has to know whose picking me and DS up because she said she doesn't want somebody knowing where she stays and her not knowing them.

Quoting easinpc:

If it were me I would either meet him somewhere that I could walk to or just have him pick us up and leave.  Unless there are safety reasons why she doesn't want you to go with him (like abuse in the past, etc) and its not just her being nosey and difficult (and you are of legal age to make your own decisions), I would just have him pick us up and go from there.


LanaTsunami
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 11:35 AM
GM is right. You never know if he has an ulterior motive
Delila12
by Bronze Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 12:52 PM
That's true, I wouldn't know for a fact. But I should have an idea of what type of person he is. I DID have a baby with him. It definately wasn't a one night stand.

Quoting LanaTsunami:

GM is right. You never know if he has an ulterior motive
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Delila12
by Bronze Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 12:53 PM
Yup. That's my plan. But with it being cold, I'm sure she'll use it as an excuse.

Quoting easinpc:

Lol so walk to the end of the block and have him pick you up there.  That way he has no clue which house is hers and then she can't use that as a reason.


Quoting Delila12:

No. He wasn't abusive. She never knew anything about him, except that I got pregnant by him. But she keeps saying that she has to know whose picking me and DS up because she said she doesn't want somebody knowing where she stays and her not knowing them.


Quoting easinpc:


If it were me I would either meet him somewhere that I could walk to or just have him pick us up and leave.  Unless there are safety reasons why she doesn't want you to go with him (like abuse in the past, etc) and its not just her being nosey and difficult (and you are of legal age to make your own decisions), I would just have him pick us up and go from there.



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
StephMosDef
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 7:20 PM

Call me weird, but I actually agree with your grandma. I am of the upbringing where when my grandma makes a 'request', its honored, otherwise, she'll make your life hell with her nagging and complaining about it. Your grandma just wants to know who youre with and what he looks like in case something happens. She can send the cops after his ass. :)

Delila12
by Bronze Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 7:53 PM
Yeah. My grandmother's like that too. But unfortunately, he's such a dumbass that he missed out on seeing his son.simply because he didn't want to have to meet her.

Quoting StephMosDef:

Call me weird, but I actually agree with your grandma. I am of the upbringing where when my grandma makes a 'request', its honored, otherwise, she'll make your life hell with her nagging and complaining about it. Your grandma just wants to know who youre with and what he looks like in case something happens. She can send the cops after his ass. :)

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
graciefreesoul
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 8:05 PM

ahhh i understand the getting on your nerves part...i haven't personally talked to the donor in close to 10 years (daughter is 13) but i do remember i cant stand talking to him long...ANYway, if in the unfortunate event i was stuck in your shoes i'd meet someplace public somehow...taxi or public transportation would be my choice...i can't even imagine what it'd be like if i had to do that at this point and yes with my daughter being 13, i'd be right there with her... how old is your son?

Delila12
by Bronze Member on Oct. 8, 2012 at 8:38 PM
He's 9 months. And I definitely wouldn't allow him to take DS.

Quoting graciefreesoul:

ahhh i understand the getting on your nerves part...i haven't personally talked to the donor in close to 10 years (daughter is 13) but i do remember i cant stand talking to him long...ANYway, if in the unfortunate event i was stuck in your shoes i'd meet someplace public somehow...taxi or public transportation would be my choice...i can't even imagine what it'd be like if i had to do that at this point and yes with my daughter being 13, i'd be right there with her... how old is your son?

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN