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An Intervention for my Ex

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Long story short...called DFAS Friday to check on missed child support payments and they tell me that my ex is getting chaptered out of the ARMY(he was active reserve and stopped going to drill 7 months ago).  First I was pissed that he can't keep a damn job.  Now I feel sad that he won't do right by Devyn. 

His phone has been turned off.  I think he's living with his GF whom I found escort ads for online.  And I'm pretty sure that his car has probably been reposessed by now too.

I thought about calling his mom to schedule an intervention but his granny died Friday so I have to wait.  Honestly, I wonder if it is even worth it.  He wont change until he wants to change, right?  But what if he wants to change and he just needs help?  Idk.  I grew up, I don't understand why he wont.

What do you think?  Should I bother with an intervention or just let him drown?

by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 3:32 PM
Replies (11-18):
graciefreesoul
by on Oct. 8, 2012 at 8:25 PM
1 mom liked this

sounds like my niece's donor...he's been claiming that he's getting out of the army since she got PG 3 years ago...my mom finally called down there to fort hood and spoke with his first sergeant and commander to try find him to get the paperwork started...me personally, i think he's either married and doesn't want his wife to know about tootie or he doesn't want his BM to find out...niece already knew he has 2 other girls but when CS paperwork came in abt him asking for a paternity test (which ofc came back 99.9 effn percent), she found out that he has a son as well...anyway, he keeps doing and saying anything to keep from paying CS...i wish she'd just give up on him...ppl can't be made to do what they don't want and they can't really be helped unless they want help themselves...

Megzboys
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 1:43 AM


Quoting h_minkus:

I think he has to reach his rock bottom in order to find his way back up. He has to get to a point where HE wants to change. I think an intervention would be futile and may even make him rebel. :/

  I agree with this post but you can at least pray for him to hit rock bottom soon so that he can start finding his way back up to where he should be.   My thoughts and prayers are with you.                Meg

I love my boys

  boy kissing mom                                        

                                                    

                             


LifeCafe42
by Nora on Oct. 9, 2012 at 9:46 AM
I agree

Quoting h_minkus:

I think he has to reach his rock bottom in order to find his way back up. He has to get to a point where HE wants to change. I think an intervention would be futile and may even make him rebel. :/
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lnrmom
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 10:06 AM

He'll hit rock bottom and he'll crawl out. Step back.

steviechick
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 11:05 AM
1 mom liked this

Sometimes guys don't hit rock bottom fast enough nor do they actually hit rock bottom.  In my case you would think that he would have known what he was doing was wrong but instead he kept it a secret for three years until he was able to quickly tell everyone then literally run off half-way around the world to hide for a year.  My ex is a coward as well as totally screwed up in the head.  Now he has two more kids to financially support at his age and his pathetic income level.   Instead of actually getting his life together while we were married, my ex chose to sneak around with another woman 16 years his junior then eventually fathering two more kids then continuing his descrtructive 'loser' path.   

I can't stress enough that sometimes we just have to let those that are on a crash course just let them continue to take that dark long road.  I pray for those kids he fathered more than anything else. 

iHay
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 12:02 PM
1 mom liked this

Honestly I think as his ex its none of your business.

devynsmommy09
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 4:08 PM

Its sad but you are probably right! slapping forehead

Quoting steviechick:

Sometimes guys don't hit rock bottom fast enough nor do they actually hit rock bottom.  In my case you would think that he would have known what he was doing was wrong but instead he kept it a secret for three years until he was able to quickly tell everyone then literally run off half-way around the world to hide for a year.  My ex is a coward as well as totally screwed up in the head.  Now he has two more kids to financially support at his age and his pathetic income level.   Instead of actually getting his life together while we were married, my ex chose to sneak around with another woman 16 years his junior then eventually fathering two more kids then continuing his descrtructive 'loser' path.   

I can't stress enough that sometimes we just have to let those that are on a crash course just let them continue to take that dark long road.  I pray for those kids he fathered more than anything else. 


sid1083
by Silver Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 5:17 PM
1 mom liked this

The longer you chase him, the more frustrated you're going to get. As much as it sucks, let it go . . . eventually it will catch up with him. And even if it doesn't, at least you haven't wasted all of your spare time and effort working on a lost cause.

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