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Does your Ex stalk your online activities? For instance, finding your posting here on CafeMom?

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My daughter's dad, threw an amazing temper tantrum and blew up my phone in endless text messages last night. Some of his commentary clearly leads me to conclude he had searched for me online and found me posting here. 

I know he is obsessed like that, at least he was about the woman he was with prior to me. During our entire relationship he obsessed about her and followed her to great lengths online, always finding her blogs and postings even when she'd change names and web sites. I didn't think he would do it to me, because he made it clear I meant nothing to him, but last night some of his nasty comments to me via text make it pretty clear he has come here. It is sad, that I can't have my opinions and share them with other single mothers without being verbally abused for it.

I could have used another handle on here, but I don't feel I need to hide anything. He knows what I think of him and his life style, he knows my opinion of everything, I speak freely to him about it and hide nothing. So it isn't like anything he might read here is a surprise. 

Do any of you other mothers feel like you are constantly being followed and spied on - in your online life? Do you fear your ex will see what you write here?

by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 7:27 PM
Replies (21-30):
Barblicious
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 10:02 PM

Honestly I think he does know what he missed out on, I get a lot os attacks about my comfortable life, and a lot of "poor me" sob stories from him. 

I try not to worry, but it was something I was wondering if other women here deal with? Thanks for the compliment. 

Quoting raegan1221:

 That's a great attitude to have! Then I wouldn't worry about him..let him lurk and realize what he lost. I know it's ridiculous he does it but I guess if you have to deal with it, have fun with it. Lol. He'll just see what a great girl he had.

Quoting Barblicious:

I really like this Single Mothers forum, so far of all the groups (that I've tried) it seems to have the nicest women in it. Also I don't want to start feeling pressured to go hide away in case he's reading. That is not fair to me. He controlled me for many years, he is so not going to control me now.

Quoting raegan1221:

 No that's ridiculous. You shouldn't have to censor anything you do because of toddlers lurking around you. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. But you can find some good private groups here where they cannot see what you post.

Quoting Barblicious:

It does feel like an invasion of privacy. It feel like every time I post now, I have him lurking somewhere over my shoulder ready to twist what I might post into some drama.

His sister was on my facebook for a while, then I found out she was showing him my private informtaion, and sharing it with him. It was such and invasion of my privacy for her to do that. 

I have a blog and I am very careful about what I write, but here I feel more free to discuss things, after all it is an open forum for single mothers. Should feel I have to censor everything I post here?

Quoting raegan1221:

 No...not that I am aware of. If my ex or any of my ex bf's did it or whoever..they wouldn't find anything juicy or anything I don't want them knowing/seeing. However I would feel an incredible feeling of invasion of privacy.


 


 


raegan1221
by Raegan on Oct. 9, 2012 at 10:03 PM
1 mom liked this

 You're welcome. I am sure that there are other women who have to deal with that unfortunately like you do.

Quoting Barblicious:

Honestly I think he does know what he missed out on, I get a lot os attacks about my comfortable life, and a lot of "poor me" sob stories from him. 

I try not to worry, but it was something I was wondering if other women here deal with? Thanks for the compliment. 

Quoting raegan1221:

 That's a great attitude to have! Then I wouldn't worry about him..let him lurk and realize what he lost. I know it's ridiculous he does it but I guess if you have to deal with it, have fun with it. Lol. He'll just see what a great girl he had.

Quoting Barblicious:

I really like this Single Mothers forum, so far of all the groups (that I've tried) it seems to have the nicest women in it. Also I don't want to start feeling pressured to go hide away in case he's reading. That is not fair to me. He controlled me for many years, he is so not going to control me now.

Quoting raegan1221:

 No that's ridiculous. You shouldn't have to censor anything you do because of toddlers lurking around you. I'm sorry you have to deal with this. But you can find some good private groups here where they cannot see what you post.

Quoting Barblicious:

It does feel like an invasion of privacy. It feel like every time I post now, I have him lurking somewhere over my shoulder ready to twist what I might post into some drama.

His sister was on my facebook for a while, then I found out she was showing him my private informtaion, and sharing it with him. It was such and invasion of my privacy for her to do that. 

I have a blog and I am very careful about what I write, but here I feel more free to discuss things, after all it is an open forum for single mothers. Should feel I have to censor everything I post here?

Quoting raegan1221:

 No...not that I am aware of. If my ex or any of my ex bf's did it or whoever..they wouldn't find anything juicy or anything I don't want them knowing/seeing. However I would feel an incredible feeling of invasion of privacy.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Faith, Hope & Love "I Will Have Faith in YOU, Hope For YOU To Come Home To Me & Love YOU More Every Day".
graciefreesoul
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 10:22 PM
1 mom liked this

nope! she did when she was 4-6 but after talking to him (twice...yeah, TWO times!) and prolly since it was brief and he showed little interest in her then and there's lack of interest in her now, she just tries to have a relationship with her siblings from him...he has 9 others...4 before and 5 after us...i know for a fact that she doesn't ask her siblings about him like where he is or if they know how to get in contact with him

*lookn up....THANK you JESUS!!*

Quoting Barblicious:

Sometimes I wonder if that would be such a bad thing, if my daughter's dad would just disappear. I know my life would be easier...

Does your daughter ever wonder about him? 

Quoting graciefreesoul:

we don't talk to him...matter of fact it's been so long (going on 10 of my daughter's 13 years?) that he prolly doesn't remember my name to look me up lol

 


michiganmom5150
by on Oct. 9, 2012 at 11:16 PM
Not online that I know of, but he's locked me out of my phone so many times trying to hack into my phone while we were together. I only put a pass code on it b/c he admitted in marriage counseling that he had been reading my texts. Nothing bad, but I vented about my mil a lot and that pisses him off.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
MeeshMom
by Platinum Member on Oct. 9, 2012 at 11:22 PM
My bd probably wouldn't think to find me here. But he and I are friends on fb. We are struggling to get along. There's nothing juicy on my fb or in real life that he could use against me. But I see plenty of his shit on his fb that I can snapshot and save which I think I'll start a folder on my computer.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
LifeCafe42
by Nora on Oct. 9, 2012 at 11:58 PM
Idk and don't really care at this point. Don't ever post anything you don't want the world including your ex to read
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Barblicious
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 12:54 AM

Well exactly - nothing I post here is any different than what I say in reality, so there is no secret to any of it. But some people make it a big drama. I would never post something I would regret. The point is some people just can't handle reality.

Quoting LifeCafe42:

Idk and don't really care at this point. Don't ever post anything you don't want the world including your ex to read


mylilgooberpea
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 5:32 AM
Meh I dont know, he did know about my new bf on his own.. By name and everything so he had to have stalked me some. If he finds me on here, so be it. His control over my emotions and life ended. Took a little while but his games and threats dont bother or scare me anymore.
Shaybay218
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 6:28 AM

Hell no...

Zindagi511
by on Oct. 10, 2012 at 9:03 AM

I don't think my Ex-Husband checks up on anything I do but then again, he didn't give a crap about me when we were married.  I have on occasion though looked him up, but I'm trying really hard to stop myself.  It's all part of my issues in getting over him already. 

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